What would you do?

Say you witnessed a domestic violence situation in your own driveway, and you broke it up/called the cops. The offending party is a neighbor, and this isn't the first time crap like this has happened. There's a possibility of retaliation against you or your property.

Do you just stay vigilant to handle it, and wait them out until they move? Or do you just say the hell with it and move?

I'm sorry you have to be in the middle of that. Bad neighbors can be a nightmare.

Do they rent or own? Do you rent or own?

If you rent, and can make an easy move with no drama to your family, its an option.

If they rent, start complaining to the landlord. I put up with a lot of garbage from tenants... but when neighbors start hounding me, I tend to take action. I've also been a neighbor that got bad tenants evicted twice.. so I know it works.

If you both own, that's a lot tougher, imo.
depending on your relationship with them / church affiliations/ etc you could get people involved to help actually solve the issue.. but that would be a long and involved process...

A nice big new fence between your properties might help as well. 🤷‍♂️

If you own hard no on moving. Not worth what you would lose unless you desire a move anyway. I’m surrounded by great neighbors, less the one directly behind me. Later found out that’s why the previous owner moved. Not worth it for me to give up thousands of dollars unless I find something I would enjoy more. Especially with the craptastic interest rates.

Rest of what I would have said has been brought by Brian.

I own but I'm unsure if they do. The previous people who lived there a few years ago were renters, but the house went up for sale when they moved. So it's unclear if the new people bought the house or are just new tenants to a new owner. Pretty much right from the get go I could tell they could change the vibe on the street.

We've only met like 5 of our neighbors in our neighborhood since we moved in about 7 years ago. Partially due to work schedules, and partially because we don't go to a church. We would like to move, but like mentioned above, it would greatly effect our financial situation.

I talked to the cops when they showed up about what I saw and heard. I just happened to take our dogs out for the night when all of this went down. Luckily the guy fell in my driveway so the woman could get away. Him and I exchanged some words and I'm sure having my growling dogs with me helped me out. I was pretty perplexed that the cops left with nothing happening. That's not really confidence inspiring.

My next door neighbors since 2006 are the whitest trash on planet earth. Their teenage son was caught multiple times touching kids around the neighborhood right before we moved in. I made it pretty clear immediately that I didn't like them. My wife was pretty outspoken about it too. One day the kid stepped onto my yard and was yelling obscenities at my house, he was about 16 at the time. I was pretty aggressive with him, without hitting him. When he threatened to call the cops, I offered to and pulled out my phone. I asked who he thought they would believe, someone with zero criminal record or a convicted sex offender? He was such a chicken shit he had never been confronted about his behavior and it immediately stopped him. I then had a conversation with his sperm donor an hour later when he came home. That showed me exactly where the kid learned his behavior. Same words spoken to him and same response when he immediately backed down.
All that to say, stand your ground and realize that domestic abusers and child molesters are cowards. Don't be threatened by them. They are bully's who won't do anything that isn't passive aggressive. If you have to, put fake or real camera's up to catch them defacing your property and make it know that you are doing so.

Cameras definitely moved up my priority list after last night. If I had video proof to show the police, maybe they could do something more. There are young girls in that house not much older than mine. It makes me sick knowing that is their normal, and will likely fall into the same abuse when they're older.

Tebbsjeep said:

Cameras definitely moved up my priority list after last night. If I had video proof to show the police, maybe they could do something more. There are young girls in that house not much older than mine. It makes me sick knowing that is their normal, and will likely fall into the same abuse when they're older.

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Tell you from my time as the po-lice. Her story probably changed that night or usually about the time they get released from jail when they realize no more paycheck coming.

No victim no crime. But DV is actually one of a few crimes where the state will become the victim if charges aren’t pursued. Probably didn’t have enough for charges based on what they heard. DV calls were the most frustrating time consuming calls I had to deal with.


This chart unfortunately is very real

I know that's usually the case, unfortunately. So the woman ran off in the first altercation, and before the cops showed up I saw who I assume was the male leave the house. Whoever was at the house when the cops showed up played it off and weren't giving them anything. Right after the cops left, the male came back, and like 10 minutes later the woman came back. I informed dispatch of this, but I never saw the cops come back.

So I believe it's just as you said, and this is how they live life. Which makes it worse because even if you try to help, they'll lie and make it sound like you're crazy.

I’d say cameras, fence, no trespass signs, and if you catch them again, I’d press trespass charges.

But I guess if the cops don’t come back that’s kinda hard too.

Just my opinion, but I think you need to decide whether you're going to fish or cut bait, and then commit to that decision. You can't half-ass this and try and do the right thing without getting too involved - either you're all in or you fold.

All in might mean getting your stuff trashed or throwing down with the guy. Minding your own business might mean having to sit in your house and listen to the screaming and try and convince yourself you're doing the right thing. It's a terrible choice to have to make and I don't envy you.

If that was my situation, the first thing I would do is talk to the children and let them know that your house is a safe place to be if they need a place to be.

And if you don’t think it’s a safe place for the children I’d request a home inspection from DCFS.

As far as retaliation goes, Personally I would go to war with someone. Stuff is stuff and can be fixed and replaced. Advocating and standing up for those that need help will always feel like a win to me.

Back story doesn't matter. But 25 years ago someone sicked DCFS on us. It was pure B.S. I didn't let them in, told them to eff the eff off and don't come back without a warrant. Never heard from them again.

- DAA

DAA said:

Back story doesn't matter. But 25 years ago someone sicked DCFS on us. It was pure B.S. I didn't let them in, told them to eff the eff off and don't come back without a warrant. Never heard from them again.

- DAA

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I have a similar story actually. A little bit different because my kids were adopted through foster care so DCFS couldn’t do the investigation because of a conflict of interest so it was the department of human services for the state of Utah. Same thing I didn’t let them in my house without a warrant, but they did end up getting a state ordered drug test I had to comply with.

But again , that was somebody trying to be a bully to me and me standing up against that. this situation sounds like somebody’s potentially being a bully to a woman and children.

No doubt. My point was simply that DCFS is a feel good do nothing agency. Calling them might be good documentation for prosecution later, after it's too late. But they don't, actually, do, squat. How many dozens of times were they called about those poor kids in St. George. And never did a gawd damn thing.

My situation with them. Had there been actual abuse, same result - zero, nothing, nadda.

Go ahead and call them and get some harassment of the shit heels going and some documentation. But don't feel like you did anything. Because they won't.

- DAA

I recommend you do something like what folks above recommend. But I know I would be house hunting pretty strongly. I love having a quiet safe neighborhood for my kids, even if my house is 50 yrs old and not much of a head turner. My next door neighbor is a US Marshall, and is extra paranoid, so I recommend moving next to one of those.

I'm leaning towards the camp of going all in. With some help, I've learned that they do rent, and I will be talking with my other neighbors and then having a conversation with the homeowner/landlord.

My wife is a little apprehensive of me creating issues, but my conscience is pushing me to continue. I will have to have more talks with her to see her side, and hopefully be a team on this. I believe I need to get cameras just in case. I want my family to feel and be safe.

johngottfredson said:

even if my house is 50 yrs old and not much of a head turner.

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What? Have you seen your house? That property is stunning, dude. I would give up several body parts to live there.

Look up their address on the salt lake county assessors office parcel viewer. It takes 5 seconds, is free and will tell you who is on the deed.

I can’t remember if you’re in SLCO though. If not, do the same with your county or call the recorders office.

Tebbsjeep said:

I believe I need to get cameras just in case.

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Trick I learned from a buddy, have some very obvious cameras and some hidden too.

Do you carry? Do you train with it? I normally don't, but I think if I were going into a situation like this I'd probably have to get serious about it. The wife too.

Just start Chadding around with a shotgun on a sling while you do yard work.