You have friends. Here and elsewhere. Use them when needed
I can't stress this enough. Especially the second point. My stepdad is dumb.... like not socially adept in any way shape or form and got taken advantage of a lot by his ex wife. When my mom married him they thought everything was amicable until she started digging into his divorce paperwork and saw the custody agreements surrounding their kids. Lots of "Verbal Contracts" that couldn't be proven. Hit a point that My Stepdad and Mom wouldn't communicate with her vocally anymore because of all the games she would play. Everything had to be written down just in case it went to a lawyer.-Some of the dirtiest, nastiest divorces start out being well-intentioned and amicable. Plan for the worst, hope for the best.
-Do as much communication as possible via text or email so there is proof of what was said and when it was said.
This one really depends on the personality of both parties. I have family members with good relationships with their exes, others that were better served by following @Kiel’s advice. If they are reasonable keeping some relationship is good if there are any kids in the mix at all. If they are crazy, cut and run.Get in and Get out as fast as possible. Don't stay friends and don't communicate after it's done. Move on.
I get that... She's already told our grown daughter that she would never be in the same room with me.. period. No for holidays, birthdays, her wedding, etc. Seems like I could be civil, and friendly, but she seems to have no desire to be either. However, having just filed, her emotions are still high and that may change in the future.I tried to be reasonable for years, you just become a crutch after they realize the things they didn't notice before. If there are kids, I get it though
Let's hope so for the kids sake (weddings, grandkids, ect)I get that... She's already told our grown daughter that she would never be in the same room with me.. period. No for holidays, birthdays, her wedding, etc. Seems like I could be civil, and friendly, but she seems to have no desire to be either. However, having just filed, her emotions are still high and that may change in the future.
Time and distance does help with that, at least in my case. My ex and I are pretty civil these days, and we can be at the same family gatherings without too much discomfort.I get that... She's already told our grown daughter that she would never be in the same room with me.. period. No for holidays, birthdays, her wedding, etc. Seems like I could be civil, and friendly, but she seems to have no desire to be either. However, having just filed, her emotions are still high and that may change in the future.
FWIW, I believe that both myself and my ex are happier people now. I’m also not in jail for committing a heinous crime, which I probably would be if we’d stayed married.I am well within the process.... at least I hope I'm more than halfway... but I guess that's really up to her and how long either of us can afford to drag it out. I'd be happy to be done sooner rather than later, but I also am aware, as many of you have pointed out, that it's probably not in my best interest to rush to be done and get steamrolled in the process. My attorney seems to be competent, and for his hourly rate, he'd better be at least that.. and I trust that he'll inform me of the best options and course.