And so it begins.....

[Meat_]

If it happens, it happens. If it doesn't, it doesn't. I'm not going to try to force the issue for fear of being without something.

Exactly.

 

[rockdog]

Been married 31 years. If your not willing to give as well as take. DON'T GET MARRIED!! That will be a train wreck waiting to happen.
I can't imagine my life without my wife and boys. But respect each persons view on what they want out of life.

 

[BroncoMama]

Been married 31 years. If your not willing to give as well as take. DON'T GET MARRIED!! That will be a train wreck waiting to happen.
I can't imagine my life without my wife and boys. But respect each persons view on what they want out of life.

Kudos! 31 years is a heck of an accomplishment, congratulations! It's funny, people who have never been married always seem to have plenty of opinions on what it's like and how works, but they have no idea how really great it can be.

 

[Bart]

Today at lunch, my ten year old informed me that he needs a girlfriend. He then asked how he should go about finding one. I told him to call up his Uncle Cody and ask him for advice......

How are they so cute and small one day and then the next they're telling you they want a girlfriend???? :wtf:

All I can say is buckle up and hang on for the ride. It will be a roller coaster. I've been through the high school dating scene with 3 kids already and my baby is 15 and swims for the high school team, so is getting hit on by guys older than her.

You have to fall back on the fact that you raised them with your values and at some point you need to trust that you did a decent job of it. Don't worry Tara, at 10 you don't have to do a lot of worrying yet.

 

[Amy]

I want someone that has their own things in life, and chooses to be with me and vice versa. Too many people get hitched because they are afraid of being alone, or don't know how to make themselves happy without an external influence like a companion. You have to know what makes yourself happy before you can be happy with anyone else, and once you know that, you have a more grounded outlook on what sacrifices you are willing to make to be with someone without giving up who you are and what makes you happy.

I don't feel any pressure to get married, and the idea that I might never find someone doesn't frighten me in the least. Life is about experiences and sure, it's nice to share those experiences with someone you care about, but you should never let yourself become dependent upon an external influence for happiness. It comes from inside.

If that is foolish self centered ideal, then I guess I'll never get married. I'll just have to keep on being comfortable in my own skin and enjoying the **** out of life and the choices I've made.

My brother is the same way. He is 31 and the pickiest son of a ***** about girls. He doesnt date or take anyone out to dinner becuase he thinks its wasting his money for other things. I know that sounds bad, but in a way its true for him. I have NEVER heard him speak anymore than a few words about a girl till recently. You do what makes sense to you.

Everyones view points on relationships, marrige ect is different and to compare yourself and marrige/relationship views on anyone else is a waste of time. IMO

 

[Kiel]

How is that take? The pair is stronger than the sum of it's parts.

I personally think any relationship based on need or fear is bad. I don't want anyone to NEED me around or keep me around for fear of being alone. That's bogus.

I want someone that has their own things in life, and chooses to be with me and vice versa. Too many people get hitched because they are afraid of being alone, or don't know how to make themselves happy without an external influence like a companion. You have to know what makes yourself happy before you can be happy with anyone else, and once you know that, you have a more grounded outlook on what sacrifices you are willing to make to be with someone without giving up who you are and what makes you happy.

I don't feel any pressure to get married, and the idea that I might never find someone doesn't frighten me in the least. Life is about experiences and sure, it's nice to share those experiences with someone you care about, but you should never let yourself become dependent upon an external influence for happiness. It comes from inside.

If that is foolish self centered ideal, then I guess I'll never get married. I'll just have to keep on being comfortable in my own skin and enjoying the **** out of life and the choices I've made.

Thats a good post

 

[cruiseroutfit]

There just aren't a lot of deaf, mute, girls out there that are at minimum 75% as awesome as I am...

No, but there are plenty of girls with low self esteem, poor eyesight and loose morals that will think your 75% cooler then themselves


Put me in the happily married subset. While there are up days and down days, overall its been very rewarding, not only emotionally which of course matters most, but financially as well. If it were not for my wife and here contributions to the household we couldn't have the standard of living we currently do. We don't do everything together, but we find things we do like to do together and make them count, then we are not offended when the other likes to do something different. Candace doesn't like to go camping/exploring as much as I do, so she goes out with her girlfriends, I don't like Lipstick Jungle so I work out in the garage, no hard feelings. We do have hobbies we share, we both like dirt bikes, can I tell you how nice it is to wake up on a weekend morning and hear "lets go to the desert today". When the right person walks into your life, you'll know it.

 

[bobmed]

I've never been married, but I have lived with the same person (Debbie) for about 25 years.
I think we get along because we never tried to.
We also live in a big enough house to avoid each other if we want

 

[Bodine]

can I tell you how nice it is to wake up on a weekend morning and hear "lets go to the desert today".

Very Cool Kurt I could be wrong here but I think overall you could be considered one of the very few that get to hear that.

 

[BlackSheep]

However, I have also felt the misery of not being with someone to which I would give everything I am.

That's a very unhealthy approach to any kind of relationship.

Having been the way you are for most of my life, and having felt the connection, I would choose the feeling of belonging that came before the misery.

Despite what you might think, this statement tells me you are not happy with your own self and your own life. You are far too dependent on someone else for your happiness. Allowing this power to someone else is completely relinquishing your own power. It wouldn't surprise me if women tend to walk over you.

But then I've always been a giver, who everyone sees as an asshole.

If you're that much of a giver, you need to read some books on co-dependancy. Believe it or not, this is a very co-dependent behavior.

 

[Meat_]

I hear what you are saying, but you are mostly wrong

I have not posted enough in this thread for you to know what is going on with me, and I cannot give enough details here to clarify

 

[BlackSheep]

I hear what you are saying, but you are mostly wrong

I have not posted enough in this thread for you to know what is going on with me, and I cannot give enough details here to clarify

I don't know you at all except for a few posts you have made (or I should say that I have read). My statements above are true. You can deny it all you want, but alas, one day you'll actually realize the truth I'm speaking.

Ask me how I know... go ahead, it won't hurt..

ok, I'll tell you. I had the same issues when I was younger. Still working through them.

 

[Meat_]

Anyone who says that I'm co-dependent because I want to give of myself to the woman I love can go **** themselves

I never said I was a doormat, I said that I like to do things for people.

I've only ever given one woman any reign over me, and that trust was well placed. I could tell you more about that but frankly its none of your business. The one thing I will say about her is that she was also the only person on this earth that I cared to let do anything for me, and I never had to ask, she always knew what I needed and was already doing it.
If you want to label that as unhealthy then I'll gladly take unhealthy

I will give you one thing though, I am not entirely happy with my life, and that is because around the age of 29 accomplishments started to mean less to me because everything is too easy and because I have no one to share it with. Do I need someone to share it with? No. Do I want someone to share it with? Yup

 

[BlackSheep]

Anyone who says that I'm co-dependent because I want to give of myself to the woman I love can go **** themselves

go read a book about co-dependency. I bet you'll recognize a lot of stuff that you do or have done in relationships.

I never said I was a doormat, I said that I like to do things for people.

I didn't say you were a doormat either, I did say I'm betting women walked over you. Whether you recognize it or admit it is a different story.

I've only ever given one woman any reign over me, and that trust was well placed. I could tell you more about that but frankly its none of your business.

You're right, it is none of my business, and frankly I don't really care. The fact that you admit you gave ANY person (woman or man - doesn't matter) reign over you is an unhealthy behavior.

The one thing I will say about her is that she was also the only person on this earth that I cared to let do anything for me,

sounds like you were in over your head frankly.

and I never had to ask, she always knew what I needed and was already doing it.
If you want to label that as unhealthy then I'll gladly take unhealthy

Ok, I'll label it as unhealthy. It's entirely possible she's as co-dependent as you are.

I will give you one thing though, I am not entirely happy with my life, and that is because around the age of 29 accomplishments started to mean less to me because everything is too easy and because I have no one to share it with. Do I need someone to share it with? No. Do I want someone to share it with? Yup

Don't obsess over it. Either you're happy with who you are and you have a good chance at a healthy relationship. Or you're not happy with who you are and your chances of a healthy relationship are significantly reduced.


Sometimes it's worth it to load up your backpack and take an extended hike - make sure you carry some interesting books along. Amazing what you can learn about yourself.

 

[Tacoma]

Holy hell, what is this, the Dr. Phil show?






heh. Takes all kinds, carry on.

 

[unltd1]

MEAT!!!! STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


as your friend, I'm ordering you........



....you want NONE of this. F this thread.

 

[BlackSheep]

Holy hell, what is this, the Dr. Phil show?

And while I actually agree with many of the comments Cody has made, I feel his animosity towards women will have a significant negative impact on his chances of finding a solid healthy relationship.


that is all..

y'all come back now, y'hear!

 

[Meat_]

MEAT!!!! STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


as your friend, I'm ordering you........



....you want NONE of this. F this thread.

Yes ma'am

I'm over it, at first I wasn't offended, then I was a little, then I thought it was funny.... now I mostly just feel sad for the loveless blacksheep

 

[unltd1]

 

[GOAT]

And while I actually agree with many of the comments Cody has made, I feel his animosity towards women will have a significant negative impact on his chances of finding a solid healthy relationship.

I pretty much shared the exact same views as Cody in my 20s, and to some extent still do. I also wouldn't call it animosity either, just clarity. I also have a pretty healthy relationship, but jenn is also just as warped as I