I own a body shop so let me help a little here. Procedure is as follows, Soap and water with red scotchbrite to prep surface, let air dry , clean with wax and grease remover, apply metal etch primer, apply top coat in the designated flash time for the primer.
It will always be extremly hard to get paint to stick where the lugnuts crush and break it. It is best to mask or set lugnuts in while painting to cover that area to prevent the paint edge from being damaged when the lugnuts are installed on the vehicle. Just lift the lugnuts out after the the paint is applied but while it is still wet.
We have painted several sets of wheels for customers and have not had one peeling or lifting problem. Good quality pait will go along ways. I would go to a paint supply company and tell them what you are doing, they will get you the best materials to insure a long lasting quality finish. I can call my supplier and have them sell it to you at my cost. They have a store in Orem, SLC and Ogden.