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Dad’s- how did you find time to build your rig and not destroy your marriage?

4x4less

4x4less

ELLIS
Location
Sale Lake
Hey guys, some of you know me and some of you don’t. I’m Randy’s son from Advanced Four Wheel Drive. Those of you that know me know that I have a 76’ FJ40 that I’ve owned and played with for more than the last 20 years. At any rate, she’s old and wore out due to 20 years of loving abuse.
I have access to a nice shop and lots of parts. I also have the ability to build anything you can imagine (maybe even a hoverboard?!)

SO- Dad’s- How did you make time to build your project and not destroy your marriage? What would you have done differently in the building process?
EllisE99D07BA-3F94-4964-A82B-5839C154895E.jpegDC2CCC12-0839-4905-A185-A25FB8721F67.jpeg
 
mbryson

mbryson

.......a few dollars more
Supporting Member
Location
Bountiful, land of rocks
I took a few whole days building my rig but it’s honestly still not complete. A lot was done in 15-30 minute increments after dinner was put away, kids were calmed down for the night or in bed or my wife was off doing something she needed to do. After 28 years, she now wants me to be away from her so time is much more available these days (our youngest is almost 16)
 
Mouse

Mouse

Trying to wheel
Supporting Member
Location
West Haven, UT
Having your wife involved is the best idea, especially driving. When you're wrenching, listen to what she says, she'll tell you when your garage time is too much, then adjust accordingly. Of course, if she is driving, she will also understand/appreciate what work you are doing.
 
4

4x4_Welder

Well-Known Member
Location
Twin Falls, ID
It's taken a long time including quite a few counseling sessions for my wife to understand that my project time is critical to my mental health. When I go to work on something by myself, it's not because I don't want to be around her and the kids, it's that I need some reset time. I've done a few big projects and repeat ones that have brought in some side income, but sometimes even just popping the hood on my truck and planning/plotting/imagining what it's going to be when done is a great way to help resolve other issues.
 
gijohn40

gijohn40

too poor to wheel... :(
Location
Layton, Utah
if you get your kids involved at an early age so they like to help with the work then when they are getting on moms nerves you just say hey kids lets go play in the garage! Mom loves you for giving her alone time!
 
Johnny Quest

Johnny Quest

Web Wheeler
Location
West Jordan
built the first one before the kids were born, and usually a few hours at night, or while she was at work.

this current build is a different story; two kids in the picture, so i'm very limited to when i can work on it. I usually only get an hour or two at most after they all go to bed, and almost never any time on the weekends unfortunately. I do plan on a few"all hands on deck" work days in the future, when ill be calling in favors from some buddies in exchange for pizza and beer.

just make sure she knows that she and your family are, and always will be your main priority.
 
moab_cj5

moab_cj5

Well-Known Member
Supporting Member
Location
The Village of Kay
After 20+ years of marriage I have my wife trained on expectations. I bring my kids out to help as long as their attention span will allow, and try to include the whole family on trips so they get to enjoy the fruit of the labor.

I had to start small: a little at night and a few Saturday's. Now I will take full evenings and all weekend to work on a project as needed. I found as long as I was making time for her and the kids too, it all worked out.
 
1993yj

1993yj

.
Location
Salt Lake
mbryson said:
A lot was done in 15-30 minute increments after dinner was put away, kids were calmed down for the night or in bed or my wife was off doing something she needed to do
Click to expand...
gijohn40 said:
if you get your kids involved at an early age so they like to help with the work then when they are getting on moms nerves you just say hey kids lets go play in the garage! Mom loves you for giving her alone time!
Click to expand...

Both of these
 
Evolved

Evolved

Less-Known Member
Location
Your Mothers Dwelling
Communication! When my latest project started I had many conversations with my wife and set the expectation that there will be a few nights during the week (after everyone went to bed) and possibly some Saturdays/Sundays that will be spent in the garage or at my buddy's shop. Two years later it was done (the Crawler, not my marriage).

Communication, understanding and compromise will change a marriage for better or worse.
 
skippy

skippy

Pretend Fabricator
Location
Tooele
I spend about 5 nights a week in the garage, My wife is a saint when it comes to allowing me to spend as much time building things as I do. The kids are usually out riding there bikes/dirt bikes and my wife hangs out in the garage with me about half the time. I cant count the amount of axles, motors and other heavy shit that my wife always ends up helping me move around.

My wife is also very aware that if she made me choose between rock crawling and her, she would be on the losing end of that battle....

I end up building a new car just about every year along with keeping up and maintaining the ones I already have.
 
4x4less

4x4less

ELLIS
Location
Sale Lake
Herzog said:
Get a six pack (muscles, not beer) and a speedo and she'll let you work on it any time. I haven't tried the muscles route but I think it might work.
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This doesn't work- She tells me to put my clothes back on. I've got skinny man muscles- maybe I need to make them stronger actual muscles? :)
 
4x4less

4x4less

ELLIS
Location
Sale Lake
Seems like some good advice here. Although, letting your 4 year old son "help" in the garage only ends with tools missing in the sandbox later. I'm still on the fence weather I want to try and rebuild this thing or just sell it. I think it would be cool to drive this thing to my 20 year high school reunion in a couple years (most of my friends in school were involved in some sort of shenanigans in this thing). I also think it would be cool to do a big road trip like the Rubicon for the cruiser's 50th birthday in 2026- drive it there, wheel it, drive it home! My wife thinks I'm kind of nuts but at the end of the day, she would totally support me if I decided to do that. She's pretty awesome!
 
N-Smooth

N-Smooth

Smooth Gang Founding Member
Location
UT
Marry someone that's awesome would be my initial advice. I've seen people try and introduce projects into their lives and their wives just don't allow it. It's because they're the worst. I'm very lucky to have an awesome wife that supports me (in a lot of ways, really).

My wife has always been understanding of my need to spend time in the garage as long as I'm understanding of the fact that she needs help with everything she has going on as well. I also try and be understanding when it comes to plans changing ie I "schedule" some time to work on something and circumstances change. I roll with it. It's really not rocket science.
 
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