Divorce
- Thread starter notajeep
- Start date
Sorry to hear it and best of luck. I haven’t dealt with it directly but have some close friends that have gone through ugly divorces. The below advice I picked up from them and another buddy that’s an attorney:
-Some of the dirtiest, nastiest divorces start out being well-intentioned and amicable. Plan for the worst, hope for the best.
-Do as much communication as possible via text or email so there is proof of what was said and when it was said.
-Don’t think you need to reply to every question or statement immediately. Wait until the next day. This especially applies when one or both of you are upset.
-Do not give more than you should, thinking you won’t mind in the future. A lot of guys give away more than they need to, just to get out fast and then they regret it later.
I almost forgot the silver lining… things will get better. I have a couple buddies that are a ways out of their divorces now and they haven’t been so happy in decades. Hang in there!
-Some of the dirtiest, nastiest divorces start out being well-intentioned and amicable. Plan for the worst, hope for the best.
-Do as much communication as possible via text or email so there is proof of what was said and when it was said.
-Don’t think you need to reply to every question or statement immediately. Wait until the next day. This especially applies when one or both of you are upset.
-Do not give more than you should, thinking you won’t mind in the future. A lot of guys give away more than they need to, just to get out fast and then they regret it later.
I almost forgot the silver lining… things will get better. I have a couple buddies that are a ways out of their divorces now and they haven’t been so happy in decades. Hang in there!
- Location
- Bountiful, land of rocks
You have friends. Here and elsewhere. Use them when needed
- Location
- West Bountiful, UT
Thursty
Well-Known Member
- Location
- Green River
We’re here for ya.
- Location
- The Village of Kay
I have no advice to give, but I'm here if you need someone to talk to.
- Location
- Grantsville, Utah
A consultation with a well respected attorney was a lifesaver for me.
ID Bronco
Registered User
- Location
- Idaho Falls, ID
The most expensive thing in the world is often a cheap attorney.
- Location
- The Land Northward (Bountiful), Utah
Mine was amicable and we were poor as dirt so easy to split half of nothing but I was a nice guy and paid off her secret credit card to get my name off it and not ruin my credit. Figured it was worth it to be done.
It gets better. Keep your chin up. God sometimes forces your hand so you can be happy later. He has big plans for you undoubtedly.
Celebrating my 15th wedding anniversary with my soulmate next week.
It gets better. Keep your chin up. God sometimes forces your hand so you can be happy later. He has big plans for you undoubtedly.
Celebrating my 15th wedding anniversary with my soulmate next week.
- Location
- Eagle Mountain, Utah
I can't stress this enough. Especially the second point. My stepdad is dumb.... like not socially adept in any way shape or form and got taken advantage of a lot by his ex wife. When my mom married him they thought everything was amicable until she started digging into his divorce paperwork and saw the custody agreements surrounding their kids. Lots of "Verbal Contracts" that couldn't be proven. Hit a point that My Stepdad and Mom wouldn't communicate with her vocally anymore because of all the games she would play. Everything had to be written down just in case it went to a lawyer.
johngottfredson
Threat Level Midnight
- Location
- Alpine
This one really depends on the personality of both parties. I have family members with good relationships with their exes, others that were better served by following @Kiel’s advice. If they are reasonable keeping some relationship is good if there are any kids in the mix at all. If they are crazy, cut and run.
I get that... She's already told our grown daughter that she would never be in the same room with me.. period. No for holidays, birthdays, her wedding, etc. Seems like I could be civil, and friendly, but she seems to have no desire to be either. However, having just filed, her emotions are still high and that may change in the future.
ID Bronco
Registered User
- Location
- Idaho Falls, ID
Let's hope so for the kids sake (weddings, grandkids, ect)
Best of luck through this.
glockman
I hate Jeep trucks
- Location
- Pleasant Grove
Nate is right on every point. My wife works for ors and says men often overpay just to be done.
Luckily for me, my ex just left and left the kids with me. We had a good 10 years without hearing from her. It still took a year for the divorce to be final.
Luckily for me, my ex just left and left the kids with me. We had a good 10 years without hearing from her. It still took a year for the divorce to be final.
- Location
- Grantsville, Utah
Time and distance does help with that, at least in my case. My ex and I are pretty civil these days, and we can be at the same family gatherings without too much discomfort.
I'm sure many people here have contacts. I've never experienced this myself, but I do have a contact with a family lawyer that I can send you if needed.
I'm guessing divorces are like relationships and kids and all of that. Every one is different.
I'm guessing divorces are like relationships and kids and all of that. Every one is different.
I am well within the process.... at least I hope I'm more than halfway... but I guess that's really up to her and how long either of us can afford to drag it out. I'd be happy to be done sooner rather than later, but I also am aware, as many of you have pointed out, that it's probably not in my best interest to rush to be done and get steamrolled in the process. My attorney seems to be competent, and for his hourly rate, he'd better be at least that.. and I trust that he'll inform me of the best options and course.
- Location
- Grantsville, Utah
FWIW, I believe that both myself and my ex are happier people now. I’m also not in jail for committing a heinous crime, which I probably would be if we’d stayed married.