bobmed
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- sugarliberty
[FONT="]GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:[/FONT][FONT="]
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[/FONT][FONT="]1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.
2) When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush[/FONT][FONT="] [/FONT][FONT="]your hair.
3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.
4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
[/FONT][FONT="]
[/FONT][FONT="]GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:[/FONT][FONT="]
[/FONT][FONT="]
[/FONT][FONT="]1) Raising teenagers is like nailing jelly to a tree.
2) Wrinkles don't hurt.
3) Families are like fudge...mostly sweet, with[/FONT][FONT="] a few nuts.
4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.
[/FONT][FONT="]
[/FONT][FONT="]GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD:[/FONT][FONT="]
[/FONT][FONT="]1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down there.
4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.
6) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.
[/FONT]
[/FONT][FONT="]
[/FONT][FONT="]1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.
2) When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush[/FONT][FONT="] [/FONT][FONT="]your hair.
3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.
4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
[/FONT][FONT="]
[/FONT][FONT="]GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:[/FONT][FONT="]
[/FONT][FONT="]
[/FONT][FONT="]1) Raising teenagers is like nailing jelly to a tree.
2) Wrinkles don't hurt.
3) Families are like fudge...mostly sweet, with[/FONT][FONT="] a few nuts.
4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.
[/FONT][FONT="]
[/FONT][FONT="]GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD:[/FONT][FONT="]
[/FONT][FONT="]1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down there.
4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.
6) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.
[/FONT]
I would have to say that the growing up statement is my favorite though.