Lame Joke Thread

[N-Smooth]

My wife really changed a lot after becoming vegan. It's like I've never met herbivore.

 

[4x4_Welder]

Why does everyone laugh at monorails?

Because they have the best one liners.

 

[glockman]

What is a chicken's least favorite day of the week?

Fry day.

 

[Kevin B.]

A new study shows that keeping fish at home can have a calming effect on the brain.

Because of all the indoor fins.

 

[Kevin B.]

My teacher said I couldn't be good at poetry because of my dyslexia, but so far I've made three jugs and a vase so I don't know what she's talking about.

 

[Thursty]

 

[Pile of parts]

Bald men got a great deal on wigs today which were on sale at $1. It was really a small price toupee.

 

[Pile of parts]

The Black Eyed Peas can sing us a tune, but the chick peas can only hummus one.

 

[Kevin B.]

What has five toes but isn't your foot?








My foot.

 

[Pile of parts]

Bruce Lee had a vegan brother.



Broco Lee

 

[Gravy]

If I marry two midgets, is that bigo'me?

 

[Pile of parts]

My Mexican friend takes anti-anxiety medication. It's for Hispanic attacks.

 

[Pile of parts]

A couple of cows were smoking a joint and playing cards. That's right, the Steaks were pretty high.

 

[haulinshine]

Mountains aren't funny


They're hill areas

 

[Die Blaue Ziege]

My teacher said I couldn't be good at poetry because of my dyslexia, but so far I've made three jugs and a vase so I don't know what she's talking about.

Omg this one really hit home with me, my wife on the other hand who is not dyslexic, doesn't understand why it made me laugh so hard it brought tears to my eyes

 

[ivantalk]

Why are there gates around cemeteries?



Because people are dying to get in!

 

[jeeper]

Why are there gates around cemeteries?



Because people are dying to get in!

Working at the cemetery, I bet I heard that one 5 times a day.


I really liked working there, but I had to quit because it was a dead end job.

They threw me a going away party when I left, but it wasn’t very lively.

I used to work there with @SLC97SR5. We'd always race to work. Neither of us won.. we are still waiting to see who comes in dead last though.

 

[OCNORB]

That reminds me. You know what the worst part about being a mortician is?



When you die you have to go to work one last time.

 

[jeeper]

What do you call a 3 legged cow?


Lean Beef.







What do you call a 2 legged cow?


Mother in Law.

 

[glockman]

I met my wife at an intro to African languages class. We just clicked.