Lame Joke Thread

STAG

On my grind
Location
Pleasant Grove
A man and his wife have been married 35 years. He kept a safe that he never let her look inside.

One day when he left to town she finally looked inside the safe and saw $40k and 3 eggs.

When the husband returned home she admitted she looked inside the safe and she asked him about the eggs. He replied “well, everytime I cheated on you with another woman I put an egg in the safe”

She thought about it and she said “well I guess that’s not too bad for 35 years. What about the cash?”

The husband replied “well, everytime I would get a dozen eggs I would sell them”
 

jeeper

Currently without Jeep
Location
So Jo, Ut
A man and his wife have been married 35 years. He kept a safe that he never let her look inside.

One day when he left to town she finally looked inside the safe and saw $40k and 3 eggs.

When the husband returned home she admitted she looked inside the safe and she asked him about the eggs. He replied “well, everytime I cheated on you with another woman I put an egg in the safe”

She thought about it and she said “well I guess that’s not too bad for 35 years. What about the cash?”

The husband replied “well, everytime I would get a dozen eggs I would sell them”

I hear this one most often but with doilies and the woman crocheting one every time she was mad.
 

STAG

On my grind
Location
Pleasant Grove
Guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender gives him his drink and then proceeds to pull a very small person from his pocket and this small person walks across the bar where he takes a seat at a very small piano and proceeds to play a beautiful song.

The bar patron is in shock and awe and asks the bartender about him. The bartender replies “I have a magical lamp with a genie that can grant you a wish”

The bartender pulls out the lamp from under the bar and the patron rubs it and says “I wish for a million bucks!”

Just then the bar fills with one million ducks!

The bar patron says, “What the hell?? I didn’t want a million ducks!”

The bartender says “oh, and you think I wanted a 10-inch pianist?”
 
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