Prenuptial Agreements

[Kiel]

I will be getting engaged soon; after talking with a good friend it was strongly encouraged that I get a prenuptial agreement. The way I feel is if I thought I needed one, then I would not be asking her. Anyway, it's a good topic for discussion, so who wishes they would have done a prenup. For those people that know us or her, keep your mouth shut as I haven't asked her yet

 

[Jesser04]

Just don't get married

 

[Gravy]

Good on you Brother Man! I'm excited for you! Marriage is awesome!

My X-Wife left on day out of the blue and never came back, so I can't say that I needed a prenup lol.
And My Wife and I don't own anything cool enough to fight over.

But seriously, my feelings are that you shouldn't need any excuse to get out of it- if you want to be with her forever:

my opinion is: Don't plant doubt where there is none.

But who knows? I think it has got to be a pretty personal decision. There isn't really a right or wrong, it's a pretty gray area, but come what may: I'm super excited for you!
If you are as focused and committed to it the way I've seen you be in other things: you'll do great!

and I'll keep my mouth shut... :O

 

[Corban_White]

My thoughts on the matter are that a marriage is an equal partnership. If you go into it with the attitude that my stuff is mine and your stuff is yours and we will share the new stuff then the partnership has already failed. In order to be successful a marriage has to be full of trust. A pre-nup says I love you..........right now. I don't trust you however. If in the future we "fall out of love" (likely because of lack of trust/dedication/commitment in the beginning) then I trust that you will do everything in your power to hurt me as much as you can by-among other things-taking as much of my possessions as possible. For this reason I have this document I would like you to sign. Sounds like a bad start to me.

If you don't trust her, don't get married to her.

 

[Kiel]

Just don't get married

You know that would be an awesome option, but won't fly forever

 

[Darwin]

i would think a pre-nup would only useful to someone with alot of assets, where the chances of meeting only gold diggers is higher. for a normal person with a normal amount of money and assets it seems like a very lame way to start off a marriage to me. its not mine or yours its ours.

 

[ChestonScout]

my thoughts on the matter are that a marriage is an equal partnership. If you go into it with the attitude that my stuff is mine and your stuff is yours and we will share the new stuff then the partnership has already failed. In order to be successful a marriage has to be full of trust. A pre-nup says i love you..........right now. I don't trust you however. If in the future we "fall out of love" (likely because of lack of trust/dedication/commitment in the beginning) then i trust that you will do everything in your power to hurt me as much as you can by-among other things-taking as much of my possessions as possible. For this reason i have this document i would like you to sign. Sounds like a bad start to me.

If you don't trust her, don't get married to her.

i would think a pre-nup would only useful to someone with alot of assets, where the chances of meeting only gold diggers is higher. For a normal person with a normal amount of money and assets it seems like a very lame way to start off a marriage to me. Its not mine or yours its ours.

x 2

 

[Kiel]

agreed, which is the way I feel, I just thought I would throw it up for discussion sake. I do know of 2 people though that felt the way I did, but not now lol

 

[Herzog]

Damn Kiel! Glad you are making the leap, you and her are awesome together.

 

[DOSS]

I say that if you need a prenuptial you need not get married as there are other things you need to figure out first - Trust, commitment for when Stuff hits the fan etc - in the end if things doing work out.. and if she takes everything you have then suck it up and deal.. its like gambling.. you don't put up a $500 bet and expect to keep X amount just because you lost but the whole of the winnings when you win.

 

[rholbrook]

I am with Corban on this one. Too many people think marriage is like a car, once it has some miles on it, things look a little wore out, stuff is not as tight as it once was, GET A NEW ONE. I have been married for 23 years and I seriously enjoy being with her. We go to lunch nearly every day and the days we don't, I wish I was.

If she mentioned it, then do it. If she didn't, you may be treading on thin ice with her.

Good Luck

 

[Cody]

If you have significant assets going into the marriage, then a pre-nup is a good thing. If not, then it probably doesn't matter. You can preach this over-romanticized notion of marriage being forever and blah blah blah, but the harsh undeniable reality is that a large percentages of marriages fail for one reason or another, and you should make efforts in advance to prepare for that situation. If you had a 38% chance that you were going to get into a car accident, you'd probably make especially certain you're protected as best as possible, no?

If talking about a pre-nup and the serious subject of assets prior to a marriage introduces doubt or mistrust in the relationship, then it isn't that strong in the first place. Marriage is a contract too, just like a pre-nup.

My opinion is that if you decide to formalize your relationship with the government and/or religious group, and that relationship fails for some reason, then everything earned or purchased since the day you were married is split, but assets held individually prior to the marriage should remain in the possession of that person after the marriage. This would seem like common sense to most, but we have to state that in contract unfortunately. If a contract that really states the obvious scares away your bride, then you can go back to doing what you want, when you want, however you want, with whoever you want, and spend as much as you want. bummer.

 

[Ogre Palowakski]

Prenups are important regardless of your current financial or asset situation. What if you inherit money or win the lottery. Suppose you start a business one day that is successful? How about retirement money that you have saved up over many years. All of that would be up in the air for grabs during a divorce.

Just my 2 cents

 

[Amy]

I will be getting engaged soon; after talking with a good friend it was strongly encouraged that I get a prenuptial agreement. The way I feel is if I thought I needed one, then I would not be asking her. Anyway, it's a good topic for discussion, so who wishes they would have done a prenup. For those people that know us or her, keep your mouth shut as I haven't asked her yet

Sweetness! You two are f***ing hilarious man and def. make a fantastic couple.
Prenups are gay unless you are a trust fund baby or just dont trust her/him. Which I agree, you shouldnt even consider marrige.

 

[Jeeperman]

That's awesome, Kiel, congrats!
I'm going to have to go with Cody on this one, though. Unfortunately shit happens and sometimes people change, such is life. :-\ And if it does get to that point (which I hope it never does for you, or anybody else, obviously), divorce can get nasty, quick.
I wish you only the best :greg:

 

[unltd1]

Hey Kiel,

I have an idea...a real viable idea. I hope you won't take it as a joke, because I'm truly happy for you, and I know what Goat said to you...

After you ask her, and she says yes, and all the excitement has time to soak in and things calm down, would you like me to find an opportunity to broach the subject with her, strictly as one girl to another, and maybe take it from the idea that I have gone through a s*#t pile of trouble through my divorce, and see what her take on the whole prenup idea is?

We chicks are pretty good at getting information, you know...

 

[GOAT]

If you have significant assets going into the marriage, then a pre-nup is a good thing. If not, then it probably doesn't matter. You can preach this over-romanticized notion of marriage being forever and blah blah blah, but the harsh undeniable reality is that a large percentages of marriages fail for one reason or another, and you should make efforts in advance to prepare for that situation. If you had a 38% chance that you were going to get into a car accident, you'd probably make especially certain you're protected as best as possible, no?

If talking about a pre-nup and the serious subject of assets prior to a marriage introduces doubt or mistrust in the relationship, then it isn't that strong in the first place. Marriage is a contract too, just like a pre-nup.

My opinion is that if you decide to formalize your relationship with the government and/or religious group, and that relationship fails for some reason, then everything earned or purchased since the day you were married is split, but assets held individually prior to the marriage should remain in the possession of that person after the marriage. This would seem like common sense to most, but we have to state that in contract unfortunately. If a contract that really states the obvious scares away your bride, then you can go back to doing what you want, when you want, however you want, with whoever you want, and spend as much as you want. bummer.

Well said Cody.

An uncomfortable conversation in the beginning of the relationship is certainly better than having your a** handed to you in court a couple of years later. Couples get too emotional about these discussions, but nothing is personal, it's just a reality of the times in which we live. To say that if I have to get a prenup, then it's just not meant to be is a bit of a fallacy. The majority of data does not support this philosophy any more than it proves the existence of the easter bunny.

Jenn and I have discussed our options as a couple for the future and we both agree that if we ever made a major purchase together like a home, we would have a legal contract as to what would happen upon the sale of that home in the event we split the sheets. We both have been down the the divorce road and see things in the bigger picture. Then again, I'm pretty lucky to be in a relationship with someone as logical and grounded as Jenn is.

Lastly. Congrats Kill, and I hope you don't have the internet at home, or at least until friday

 

[864runner]

I would have to agree with Cody as well, get one or dont cry when she takes everything in the divorce.

 

[cruiseroutfit]

LLC's, trusts and shell companies. I don't own anything

 

[spencurai]

In my opinion prenups are what completes an otherwise flawed contract that is a marital agreement. Divorce happens more often than not in this day and age. If you do not protect yourself completely then you had better hope she is reasonable and logical in the event of your parting of company.

I was lucky. When I got a divorce she was level headed and we did things logically. She got what she deserved and I got what I deserved. It was fair. I cannot honestly say I have ever met anyone else that has had such an easy divorce as myself. Every single one of my friends that has gotten a divorce in the last 10 years should have gotten an pre-nup and there are a few of my friends right now that should have done a pre-nup. It is never a bad idea. If she can't handle the idea that you two might split up then she needs a hefty dose of reality. Love does not conquer all.