Why Your Friends Voted Democrat

[rholbrook]

I am so much happier now that this has been explained to me. You should be too after you read this.

Subject: Top 12 Reasons: A List That Explains Almost Everything

When your friends cannot explain why they voted for Democrats, give them this list. They can then pick their reasons from this "TOP 12."

1. I voted Democrat because I believe oil companies' profits of 4% on a gallon of gas are obscene, but the government taxing the same gallon of gas at 15% isn't.

2. I voted Democrat because I believe the government will do a better job of spending the money I earn than I would.

3. I voted Democrat because freedom of speech is fine as long as nobody is offended by it.

4. I voted Democrat because I'm way too irresponsible to own a gun, and I know that my local police are all I need to protect me from murderers and thieves.

5. I voted Democrat because I believe that people who can't tell us if it will rain on Friday can tell us that the polar ice caps will melt away in ten years if I don't start driving a Prius.

6. I voted Democrat because I'm not concerned about millions of babies being aborted so long as we keep all death row inmates alive.

7. I voted Democrat because I think illegal aliens have a right to free health care, education, and Social Security benefits.

8. I voted Democrat because I believe that business should not be allowed to make profits for themselves. They need to break even and give the rest away to the government for redistribution as the Democrats see fit.

9. I voted Democrat because I believe liberal judges need to rewrite the Constitution every few days to suit some fringe kooks who would never get their agendas past the voters.

10. I voted Democrat because I think that it's better to pay billions for oil to people who hate us, but not drill our own because it might upset some endangered beetle or gopher.

11. I voted Democrat because while we live in the greatest, most wonderful country in the world, I was promised "HOPE AND CHANGE."

12. I voted Democrat because my head is so firmly planted up my a$$, it's unlikely that I'll never have another point of view.

 

[Caleb]

 

[sixstringsteve]

that made my day Russ, thanks.

 

[YOUKNOW]

That's funny right there, I don't care who you are!

 

[4554x4]

I know someone from RME that will be offended when he reads this! Its not me! I needto pass this one on!

 

[Stacey]

That is funny, will be passing it on.

 

[offroaddave]

#12 is indisputable.

But this is no joke or humorus.

 

[mighty midjet]

number seven always gets me fired up

 

[jackjoh]

#12 is indisputable.

But this is no joke or humorus.

Afraid so. inaction is also hurting four wheeling.

 

[DOSS]

#10: I shall vote Republican next time because I am a white male. It does not matter if they are otherwise against me, but since I am a white male, and they say that they are for white males, I am for them too! Lies matter not to me. I am a white male.

#9: I shall vote Republican next time because I do not belong to any union. I have been told that unions are evil, and of course I believe it since Glenn Beck, Rush Limbaugh, and Sean Hannity said so.

#8: I shall vote Republican because the President is not a United States citizen. I have been told that from the Tea Party, the conservative talkers, and Michelle Bachman. If they say it, I know those truths to be self evident.

#7: I shall vote Republican because I think that the deficit and the National debt is the most pressing problem that we face. Even though that I am living off of retirement savings, jobs for Americans are a secondary issue.

#6: I shall vote Republican because I think that tax breaks for large corporations, making billions of dollars, stimulate job creation. It worked well under G. W. Bush, as I am told by the Fox "News" Network.



Now to reasons that would make me vote for the Republicans. Unfortunately, those are all contrary to reality, but if I were in those situations, I might just vote that way.

#5: I would vote Republican because my Daddy died and left me $50 million. I do not want to give a cent of it to the Treasury! Let the little people pay.

#4: I would vote Republican because I am the head of a large corporation that pays no tax after my attorneys get done looking at the dodges. Hell, some of us even get a REBATE when the loopholes are properly exploited! And having my highest marginal bracket so low is not bad, either! Back when Eisenhower was President I would have been taxed at over 80%! Thank God for the New Republicans!

#3: I would vote Republican because I run a huge defense contractor corporation. Not only is it a LEGAL PERSON because of the recent Republican Supreme Court decision, I get lots and lots of money for my fatcat shareholders, and they in turn vote to give me a sinfully large salary and bonus, every year! I LOVE the current tax code, and give some to what to me is pocket change to the Republicans who keep me in power. Money is GOOD!

#2: I would vote Republican because they might give me a cushy job as a political appointtee, and since I have no real skills otherwise, that would be cool! A cushy job and low tax rate rules!





#1: I would vote Republican because I am a hedge fund trader, and not only do I not draw a salary (so no FICA nor Medicare withholding, although I will be eligible for them), I pay only 15% on my income! You idiots working for wages and salaries pay over 15% on FICA and Medicare, and then up to over 30% in income tax! Fools! Let us say that I had a bad year, and you had a really good one. My income for the year is $10 million. For me, I pay NOTHING in FICA and Medicare! Even if I had to pay both parts, which I do not, since I have no earned income, it gets better for me! Let us do the numbers!

Out of the $10 million, I pay only 15%! That comes to $1.5 million, so I walk away with $8.5 million! You jerks pay around 30% give or take, plus FICA at 7.2% (on your first $106,000) and Medicare at 1.2% on all of it! Fools!

Now let us run these numbers for the same $10 million.

Your FICA comes to $7632, and your Medicare to $12,000. Now, let us assume that your top tax bracket is 30%, so you pay another $3 million! Let us add it all together:$10 million, minus the $7632, minus the $12,000, minus the $3 million. I walk away with $8.5 million, and you keep $6.98 million! What a deal for me!

That is why I will always vote for a Republican!"

 

[ID Bronco]

I was anxiously wating for that. lol

 

[offroaddave]

A response to a joke with another joke. That's golden.

 

[XJEEPER]

If you voted for Obama in 2008 to prove you aren't a racist, you'd better find another candidate to vote for in 2012, to prove you aren't an idiot.

 

[Stripingears]

If you voted for Obama in 2008 to prove you aren't a racist, you'd better find another candidate to vote for in 2012, to prove you aren't an idiot.

 

[TRNDRVR]

If you voted for Obama in 2008 to prove you aren't a racist, you'd better find another candidate to vote for in 2012, to prove you aren't an idiot.

I voted for Obama in 2008 because I wanted to prove I was a sexist!



:greg: