I feel stuck. Most specifically in my career. It is reeking havoc on my "self worth."
I have been at my current job for just over 5 years. It came with a great step up in pay and amazing benefits. But also, being education and .gov funded, came with some negatives that I didn't realize until the last couple years. Negatives like promotions being almost non-existent unless somebody quits or dies. Like your raises being completely decided by how much budget increase the government decided on that year. And the big one that has just killed my drive and love for my job the last couple years, the education system forcing changes that only hinder student growth and cost everyone more money, while adding triple the responsibility on me with no compensation. On top of this I have 2 other part time jobs, that I actually enjoy way more but have no chance of being a full time thing, costing me tons of time from home just to somewhat get close to what I want to achieve for my family.
So what, find a new job... and there comes the "stuck" part.
I've spent the last 6 months applying for several jobs that I either qualify for or feel I could catch onto pretty quick. 3 of which actually put me through the interview process and were giving positive signs towards working out and giving me a decent enough pay raise to give up my amazing benefits so I could move my career forward. 1 of those even had a few of my friends working there that were pushing hard for me so we could run the QC department together.
All 3 of the ones I had multiple interviews with then proceeded to ghost me. Then after weeks, and in one case months, of me reaching out they finally tell me they weren't interested or decided to go a different route.
Then I find the golden job that I fit all the criteria for, get a phone interview, and then get an email telling me they went with someone else. Then the next day post the same job again but for a lower pay scale that I'm not willing to accept.
All this has thrown me down a rabbit hole of "Imposter Syndrome." Not only that but recognizing that, at least around here, I'm missing key experience to have an equivalent job in other companies that I do now. To get that experience I'd either have to take a severe pay cut, which is in no way possible for my family right now, or pay 10's of thousands in online and in person trainings that most of the industry doesn't give two craps about anyways.
I understand very much that I'm into the GRIND part of life and I'm trying to put my head down and work towards a more relaxed future. But my main job, my career making job, feels like I've ran into a solid wall. I loathe walking into the building every morning. I have become way more blunt with students from being sick of hearing the same damn questions 10 times a day for 5 years. And honestly I've become quite lazy at it.... There is no point to excel. There is no reason to work my butt off because the school doesn't care. They won't fire me because it's hard as hell to replace me. But they also won't give me any kind of "pat on the back for a job well done" because it wasn't part of the legislature's budget.
I'm just super frustrated and disheartened today after seeing another "No" from a job application.
I would really like to reign back my side jobs and have a life again.
I went through something similar in 2021. Actually, I went through what you're describing from 2019-2021. I started the best job I've ever had in 2011, with a .gov water district. I loved the work I was doing and the people I worked with. I worked there on and off for a couple of years as a contractor before getting hired, and I knew the guys pretty well. When they opened up a job some of the crew thought I was crazy to want to work there and I asked them why I shouldn't. Their response was that the place was crazy but it took years to really understand it. They were right, but for the first 5 years or so all the good things about the job made it a non issue for me (most days). Then the company started making some changes that made it worse and worse. By 2019 I still loved the work and I loved my team members, but I hated going to work. It was seriously affecting my mental health. But the "golden handcuffs" are a real thing. On paper I would have been crazy to quit. The pay was good, the work and team were awesome, the benefits unmatched and the retirement unattainable in the private sector. On top of that I was feeling crushed by the growth of Utah County. I seriously considered starting over in a lineman apprenticeship program, which would have taken 4-5 years. The only thing that stopped me from going that route was the amount of travel required during the apprenticeship. I couldn't give up time with my kids when they were just entering their teenage years, but I determined that if I could go back I would have done it right when I got married. Since that time had passed my wife and I ultimately decided that even though on paper that job was awesome, the intangibles (mental health) were worth giving up some of that good stuff.
So I started the job search. The last time I had actually looked for a job was around '07. I had changed jobs several times since then, but they had all been word of mouth stuff. So I signed up for all the sites like linked in, career builder, zip recruiter, indeed, etc. I was getting daily emails from all those sites and kept applying to the jobs I liked. Most I never heard back from. Some I got an interview, most of those ended as soon as the salary came up (why TF does every company refuse to post a pay scale in a job listing???!?!?). After many months of this (which as I am sure you know, once you actively start trying to find a new job, the hatred for your current job only goes up), the right job finally popped up. The only problem was, it would put us 11-12 hours away from family vs the 1-2 we were. We had been planning on moving, but not anywhere near that far. Ultimately we decided to do it. Took a 15% pay cut, probably another 30% cut in benefits and the cost of living went up quite a bit. The first few months were hard, mostly due to moving to a place we had never even seen before moving day and didn't even know existed before applying for the job. We lived in our camp trailer for a while, which had it's own set of challenges. And even with all that, I have no regrets. Even though this company has a lot of the same issues my last company did (I am no longer .gov, but I am with a large electric utility), I came into it prepared and with the right expectations. It also helps that it didn't start off as the most amazing job and deteriorate from there while I was working it. It's a job and I enjoy the work I do, but at the end of the day I clock out and go home to my family, which is really where I want to be.
The search sucks. And it's hard to give up the comfort of the .gov job. But it's a soul sucking comfort. Especially for a driven, motivated person. I've seen the comfortable .gov jobs destroy quite a few good employees. Be willing to make the sacrifices needed to get into a better place. Might be pay, might be hours/time away from home (IMO, as long as this is a means to an end and not a permanent thing-if you have to get some certs, go back to school, go through an apprenticeship, etc. Something that is a temporary sacrifice for a better tomorrow. It will only get harder to do as the kids (and you) get older). Maybe it requires a move, maybe it will be taking a risk. But I know one thing. If you hate your job no (realistic) amount of time off, extra pay, comfort, etc. can make up for that. You don't have to love your job, but hating it makes all the rest of life oppressive and miserable. Don't give up looking, spread the net. Word of mouth is WAY more effective than any job board at getting through the doors.
