We have a 2019 Highlander and love it for the most part.
My wife hates the fact she was too cheap (definitely not my decision) that she didn’t get the XLE with the captains chairs in the back seat. That’s really her only only complaint.
I like it. When flooring it off the “starting line” when the light turns green it get up and goes! (Relatively speaking). When trying to pass someone of the freeway at 70 mph it still moves to make a pass. That part I like. I absolutely hate the “start-stop” function at stop lights. I always turn it off as soon as I get in. I think this is something a lot of manufacturers are using so it may be a neutral dislike. I don’t love the blind spots in it. I added little dome mirrors on the drivers and passenger side mirrors for more visibility. The back seat has a ton of room, I wouldn’t think twice of putting an 3 adult humans in the back seat. The third row is another story. My kids are 7 and 8 now and they fit fine. When they get a little bigger that may no longer be an option. We have a good 4-5 years before that point and we will have a new car before that’s an issue. We don’t drive it a ton (we both work from home) so I have never paid attention to gas mileage.
I changed out the wheels/tires about a week after getting it. So, with my smaller profile tires I think it rides a little rough for a “mom car” but stock wheels and tires I feel like the ride would be way more cush.
We had the previous gen pathfinder with a 3rd row prior to this. The resale value was super shitty on that car. That’s why we went Toyota this round. We could probably sell the Highlander for close to what we bought it for at this point because the used market is awesome (for the seller). That being said, outside of the resale value I really liked our pathfinder. It was more rugged and I never thought twice of taking it camping and outdoors. I likely would never take the Highlander on more than a graded dirt road.
All in all, I would buy one again except our kids are getting bigger with more friends and more activities. Our next car will be a Sequoia or a Yukon.