ChestonScout
opinions are like Jeeps..
- Location
- Clinton, Ut
I just let the wife drive once. Rest is history
Dad’s- how did you find time to build your rig and not destroy your marriage?
- Thread starter 4x4less
- Start date
HAHA- I converted it to fuel injection a few years back for him. Worked well for about 2 days. Haven't gone back to figure out what happened with the uni-lite ignition. Probably an easy fix and yeah, that jeep is super fun to drive.
DesertRam
Active Member
- Location
- Southern New Mexico
I have been married 18 years and have three kids. Not long compared to many in my parents' generation, but long enough to know that what I have is something special among my peers. I don't think there is any one secret to success, as all relationships, and those in them, are different. We all have different needs and harbor varying expectations as to what a marriage should be. My wife and are partners, companions, best friends. We rely on each other for most things. We don't have a local support system; no family nearby. We have to be there for each other all the time.
The most important thing for me was to set clear expectations early in the marriage, maybe even before. My passion is hunting. I have a decently capable 4x4 to support that hobby, not be the hobby. Hunting takes a lot of time to do right, and I want to do it right. I was very clear early in our relationship that I would hunt, I needed to hunt, and if she ever pushed me to quit hunting, it would not work out in her favor. It was blunt, but that honesty paid off. She understands that I need that time away to recalibrate. Without time in the outdoors I become much less productive at home and work. I'm a far better husband, father, and provider when I get regular doses of Mother Nature. My wife is smart enough to recognize this aspect of my personality, understanding enough to accommodate it, and at times, loving enough to even encourage it! Sometimes she comes along. Yes, she's awesome.
Now that we have kids, she comes less, which you might think odd. However, it has actually provided great opportunities for me to build strong relationships with my children while offering the wife chances to work on more of her own hobbies while I have the kids. That has actually become a selling point of my hobby now! "Hey honey, why don't I take the kids out dove hunting while you enjoy a quiet evening quilting or reading?" Moms need time too, so use your garage time as a chance to provide that for her. There's a bumper sticker I've seen several times around here - "Hunt with your kids, not for them." I think the same could be applied to any time-consuming hobby. Bring the kids out to the garage or take them on a test drive and send Mom off for a salon day, or lunch with the ladies, or shoe shopping. Buy those brownie points.
Someone else mentioned compromise. That's a bad word in politics, but not in a marriage. You have to recognize that there will be give and take on both sides. It is important to make sure that your wife understands that your hobbies are not "instead" of her, but part of you that she loves and wants to be with. The same is true of her desires. You will have to give up some garage time, or in my case some hunting or fishing time, to make sure Momma gets what she needs. We're renovating the kitchen right now. That cost me several good fishing days and whacked my savings down enough that I postponed the 15x56 bino I've been pinching pennies saving for. The wife knows that grates on me, but really appreciates that I put her wants first. She does it often for me when I go walk-about for a week chasing elk. I guess the tip there is to always make sure the relationship is not one-sided. That will bite you in the ass in the end.
So, summary? Be honest. Be understanding. Be loving. Be there.
The most important thing for me was to set clear expectations early in the marriage, maybe even before. My passion is hunting. I have a decently capable 4x4 to support that hobby, not be the hobby. Hunting takes a lot of time to do right, and I want to do it right. I was very clear early in our relationship that I would hunt, I needed to hunt, and if she ever pushed me to quit hunting, it would not work out in her favor. It was blunt, but that honesty paid off. She understands that I need that time away to recalibrate. Without time in the outdoors I become much less productive at home and work. I'm a far better husband, father, and provider when I get regular doses of Mother Nature. My wife is smart enough to recognize this aspect of my personality, understanding enough to accommodate it, and at times, loving enough to even encourage it! Sometimes she comes along. Yes, she's awesome.
Now that we have kids, she comes less, which you might think odd. However, it has actually provided great opportunities for me to build strong relationships with my children while offering the wife chances to work on more of her own hobbies while I have the kids. That has actually become a selling point of my hobby now! "Hey honey, why don't I take the kids out dove hunting while you enjoy a quiet evening quilting or reading?" Moms need time too, so use your garage time as a chance to provide that for her. There's a bumper sticker I've seen several times around here - "Hunt with your kids, not for them." I think the same could be applied to any time-consuming hobby. Bring the kids out to the garage or take them on a test drive and send Mom off for a salon day, or lunch with the ladies, or shoe shopping. Buy those brownie points.
Someone else mentioned compromise. That's a bad word in politics, but not in a marriage. You have to recognize that there will be give and take on both sides. It is important to make sure that your wife understands that your hobbies are not "instead" of her, but part of you that she loves and wants to be with. The same is true of her desires. You will have to give up some garage time, or in my case some hunting or fishing time, to make sure Momma gets what she needs. We're renovating the kitchen right now. That cost me several good fishing days and whacked my savings down enough that I postponed the 15x56 bino I've been pinching pennies saving for. The wife knows that grates on me, but really appreciates that I put her wants first. She does it often for me when I go walk-about for a week chasing elk. I guess the tip there is to always make sure the relationship is not one-sided. That will bite you in the ass in the end.
So, summary? Be honest. Be understanding. Be loving. Be there.