Dito!!!
Enough is enough. Grrr.
- Thread starter Tacoma
- Start date
Dito!!!
Tacoma
Et incurventur ante non
- Location
- far enough away
Cody, you make some good points... in this case I have no illusions about violence LOL It's not going to solve anything at all, but then, that's not really the point. That's just punishment.
I'll talk to him too, and his wife is trying to line up places to stay and jobs right now, someone to watch the 2 kids, etc.. I don't think she's going to come to UT and stay with us, which is too bad for her.
As for the courts, GOOD LUCK. You're talking about Queens, NY. The beauracracy is a mile thick, very, VERY difficult to get anything done that way. Not a time-effective solution for solving family problems.
Maybe he's going through something right now, and this is the end of it, either he's realizing what an ass he is, or he's getting ready to leave too. Maybe violence won't be necessary at all, and that would be great.
Besides all that, sometimes a good ass-whooping straightens people out. About 90% of the time though, I agree that it's not going to help anything at all.
--Tacoma
I'll talk to him too, and his wife is trying to line up places to stay and jobs right now, someone to watch the 2 kids, etc.. I don't think she's going to come to UT and stay with us, which is too bad for her.
As for the courts, GOOD LUCK. You're talking about Queens, NY. The beauracracy is a mile thick, very, VERY difficult to get anything done that way. Not a time-effective solution for solving family problems.
Maybe he's going through something right now, and this is the end of it, either he's realizing what an ass he is, or he's getting ready to leave too. Maybe violence won't be necessary at all, and that would be great.
Besides all that, sometimes a good ass-whooping straightens people out. About 90% of the time though, I agree that it's not going to help anything at all.
--Tacoma
TK1
Full Mall Crawler Status
- Location
- Taylorsville, UT
I agree with this statement. As much fun as it would be to beat the tar out of this idiot, it will only make things worse.
I think that Cody hit the nail on the head.
Sure, beating his ass would make YOU feel better, but would it help your sister, and the situation?
If a beating would straighten the guy out so that he doesn't pull this crap EVER again, then by all means beat him down.
But, if beating him will do nothing to help the situation, figure out how to get her out of there.
Focus on the ultimate goal.
That being said, delete this thread.
Sure, beating his ass would make YOU feel better, but would it help your sister, and the situation?
If a beating would straighten the guy out so that he doesn't pull this crap EVER again, then by all means beat him down.
But, if beating him will do nothing to help the situation, figure out how to get her out of there.
Focus on the ultimate goal.
That being said, delete this thread.
Devel
Just an Outlaw....
- Location
- North Salt Lake
just wait till he throws the first punch, the beat the snot out of him. if he doesnt throw a punch then no worries just get her outta there
what a bunch of retards. "ya, just beat his ass" "when he throws, then beat his ass"
seriously. maybe you'll pick up his lunch money. grow up people. maybe try and resolve an issue with something besides your arms and small penis's for once. """uhhh, I can't think of any way to solve this with my mind so maybe i'll just try and hit him till the problem goes away""" Probably the same people that throw a fit and %*@%*@%*@%*@%*@ when the service at Olive Garden or Sizzler takes 5 minutes too long to refill their free water.
i'm honestly embarrassed to be a part of a group that has this mentality.
there are better ways to resolve this situation whithout violence. If you confront him and are forced to defend yourself then fine, but you should have some sort of intervention and at the very least attempt to get the authorties involved. If you have to stoop to his level then you are just as guilty as he is.
seriously. maybe you'll pick up his lunch money. grow up people. maybe try and resolve an issue with something besides your arms and small penis's for once. """uhhh, I can't think of any way to solve this with my mind so maybe i'll just try and hit him till the problem goes away""" Probably the same people that throw a fit and %*@%*@%*@%*@%*@ when the service at Olive Garden or Sizzler takes 5 minutes too long to refill their free water.
i'm honestly embarrassed to be a part of a group that has this mentality.
there are better ways to resolve this situation whithout violence. If you confront him and are forced to defend yourself then fine, but you should have some sort of intervention and at the very least attempt to get the authorties involved. If you have to stoop to his level then you are just as guilty as he is.
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M
muddyjeep
Guest
All i have to say is get her out of there this happened to good freind of mine
and it turned realy ugly real fast
And turn him in he does not deserve to live in this country!!
And I voted yes get em
he sounds like a worthless animal
and it turned realy ugly real fast
And turn him in he does not deserve to live in this country!!
And I voted yes get em
he sounds like a worthless animal
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Tacoma
Et incurventur ante non
- Location
- far enough away
I had to vote maybe as well, because yeah, my number one priority is her and her kids. I have a secure feeling that he'll escalate things though, at which point there will probably be some scrapping. The main point is to let him know how utterly unacceptable that is to at least me and my wife, and that it won't be happening again, one way or the other.
I would prefer that he learns and changes, it's possible and something to hope for. So far he hasn't shown any willingness to do so, but I don't know him.
And yeah, I won't be getting my ass handed back to me... I"m full of anger! and cranky! from being in this damn truck 57hrs a day LOL
I am a little surprised at all the Yes votes though. I expected mostly maybes, leaning towards no, because Cody is right, just handing him a beatdown isn't going to do a damn thing.
ARBlackrifles
Lost One
- Location
- Corporate Housing looking for a home
Step 1 do not post on an open forum your intentions of doing bodily harm upon another regardless of how valid your reasons. There is no such thing as knowing how to deal with the cops in a domesic violence situation if they come 97% chance you as the outsider from another state will go to jail for assault. I know enough NYPD via my work to tell you they are not gonna let you fly off.
And BTW 6 months in Riker's will give you plenty of opportunities to wonder WTF was I thinking. You'll be arrested charged with felonious assault and be denied bail. The trial will take about 6 months to get on the docket and you'll lose your job, jeapordize your marriage etc. You are thinking best case scenario going in your favor. you should count on worst case scenario.
I truly sympathize with your situation and would feel exactly like you well not exactly because I personally would not have a forum of folks knowing what I was going to do. You have set up premeditation and if it gets ugly enough someone will be reviewing your PC. Yes she is your sister, yes you love her and yes you should take care of her but your responsiblities are with your wife. Being in jail on a major assualt if not worse charge or realistically maybe even dead is not fair to the woman who said I do to you, he should be your primary concern.
Remember this if nothing else. Violence is never appropriate if you have discussed it openly in front witnesses and especially if your written words (this forum) can be regurgitated in front of a jury. The second you posted this thread and poll took you into a whole new balgame. Saty at home with your wife and take care of her.
And BTW 6 months in Riker's will give you plenty of opportunities to wonder WTF was I thinking. You'll be arrested charged with felonious assault and be denied bail. The trial will take about 6 months to get on the docket and you'll lose your job, jeapordize your marriage etc. You are thinking best case scenario going in your favor. you should count on worst case scenario.
I truly sympathize with your situation and would feel exactly like you well not exactly because I personally would not have a forum of folks knowing what I was going to do. You have set up premeditation and if it gets ugly enough someone will be reviewing your PC. Yes she is your sister, yes you love her and yes you should take care of her but your responsiblities are with your wife. Being in jail on a major assualt if not worse charge or realistically maybe even dead is not fair to the woman who said I do to you, he should be your primary concern.
Remember this if nothing else. Violence is never appropriate if you have discussed it openly in front witnesses and especially if your written words (this forum) can be regurgitated in front of a jury. The second you posted this thread and poll took you into a whole new balgame. Saty at home with your wife and take care of her.
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Tacoma
Et incurventur ante non
- Location
- far enough away
Trust me, that's not going to happen. Her entire family is "on the job", and he is an illegal alien. Given the shady, semi-legal nature of the Irish underground in Queens, I seriously doubt police will be involved at all. Besides all that, My NUMBER ONE PRIORITY IS MY OWN SAFETY AND THAT OF MY OWN FAMILY, followed way down the line by my niece and nephews', then my sister in laws, and waaaaaaaay below that, the wife-beating coward she married.
The only thing I ever think is worst case. It's all good! Yeah, I'd LOVE to whip his ass around for that, but I'm not 12 years old. He's going to get an earful from me, and if he's smart, that's all!!! I have a strong feeling that he's not that smart though... and I'm not taking the first or probably even the third shot. He wants to live by the fist, then he's got what he's got coming to him.
This thread has gotten kind of focused on the physical, which is really my own damn fault. So enough! Anyone got any experience getting family members into shelters or anything???
The only thing I ever think is worst case. It's all good! Yeah, I'd LOVE to whip his ass around for that, but I'm not 12 years old. He's going to get an earful from me, and if he's smart, that's all!!! I have a strong feeling that he's not that smart though... and I'm not taking the first or probably even the third shot. He wants to live by the fist, then he's got what he's got coming to him.
This thread has gotten kind of focused on the physical, which is really my own damn fault. So enough! Anyone got any experience getting family members into shelters or anything???
ARBlackrifles
Lost One
- Location
- Corporate Housing looking for a home
Well hard to not gear this thread towards physical since the bulk of your reaction and post has been towards physical violence. I only offer my advice because of my background take it or leave it. What his family's situation may or may not be has nothing to do with a neighbor calling and local PD cares far less about illegals than you think.
You are the out of towner so even if he starts you're getting dragged off. Period. Don't count on he started it as a defense that doesn't work anymore they'll just haul you both off if you both show signs of physical violence. Laws on domestics are WAY different than they were 10 yrs ago.
Leaving the Scene
The ONLY way you can get your sister into a shelter is if she voluntarily goes tot he shelter and requests assistance. Her first step though should be filing for an RO or restraining order. Many shelters will not take a woman in unless she has an RO in hand because they don't want some dirtbag coming there and harming the other women. It also shows a commitment to follow through on her behalf. Shelters often run near capacity and are tragically underfunded, if they think she is going back or if they think she will get weak and tell him where she is at they will turn her away. Warm and fuzzy days are over in this world. If somehow they have joint accounts she needs to fix that and do everything she can to make a clean break. Don't let her leave anything behind since she'll get weak and use the need to go get her favorite sweater to go back and try one more time. It will get worse and either he will kill her or she will kill him and there is a good chance she'll get locked up. These dirtbags NEVER get fixed the repeat violator rate for this type of dude is well over 70%. The former abuser thing is ok for an Oprah show or Dateline NBC reality is they just get worse and may pretend to change for a few weeks or months but... Remember the warm and fuzzy days are over in this world. LE and Prosecutors are tired of dealing with adults that act like children and can't get their act together.
Sometimes you have to wash your hands of it. remember your own wife and family some people will not, cannot, do not accept help and are weak. YOU need to figure out a place in your mind that you are willing to pop smoke and get out of there. there needs to be a line in the sand where you say Eff this I am done I refuse to ruin my life.
Here is another wake up call... You go there he kills you and she still goes back to him. You can bet this happens A LOT. Were it me I'd make sure a RO was filed, PD was there etc. I'd turn his happy little arse into to PD/DHS/ICE and have him locked up for his little malfunctions. During that time he will become someone's girlfriend and your sister will have time to flee. anything short of that is just plain silliness. Get him arrested ASAP.
Don't get me wrong I sympathize with you big time. Were it my sister I'd just handle it differently and this tough guy would have PTSD seizures every time someone said the name Joanie within ear shot of him.
You also should be FAR more mad at your sister than you are at him. he is a dirtbag she is your sister dirtbags don't rate a moments emotion.
You are the out of towner so even if he starts you're getting dragged off. Period. Don't count on he started it as a defense that doesn't work anymore they'll just haul you both off if you both show signs of physical violence. Laws on domestics are WAY different than they were 10 yrs ago.
Leaving the Scene
The ONLY way you can get your sister into a shelter is if she voluntarily goes tot he shelter and requests assistance. Her first step though should be filing for an RO or restraining order. Many shelters will not take a woman in unless she has an RO in hand because they don't want some dirtbag coming there and harming the other women. It also shows a commitment to follow through on her behalf. Shelters often run near capacity and are tragically underfunded, if they think she is going back or if they think she will get weak and tell him where she is at they will turn her away. Warm and fuzzy days are over in this world. If somehow they have joint accounts she needs to fix that and do everything she can to make a clean break. Don't let her leave anything behind since she'll get weak and use the need to go get her favorite sweater to go back and try one more time. It will get worse and either he will kill her or she will kill him and there is a good chance she'll get locked up. These dirtbags NEVER get fixed the repeat violator rate for this type of dude is well over 70%. The former abuser thing is ok for an Oprah show or Dateline NBC reality is they just get worse and may pretend to change for a few weeks or months but... Remember the warm and fuzzy days are over in this world. LE and Prosecutors are tired of dealing with adults that act like children and can't get their act together.
Sometimes you have to wash your hands of it. remember your own wife and family some people will not, cannot, do not accept help and are weak. YOU need to figure out a place in your mind that you are willing to pop smoke and get out of there. there needs to be a line in the sand where you say Eff this I am done I refuse to ruin my life.
Here is another wake up call... You go there he kills you and she still goes back to him. You can bet this happens A LOT. Were it me I'd make sure a RO was filed, PD was there etc. I'd turn his happy little arse into to PD/DHS/ICE and have him locked up for his little malfunctions. During that time he will become someone's girlfriend and your sister will have time to flee. anything short of that is just plain silliness. Get him arrested ASAP.
Don't get me wrong I sympathize with you big time. Were it my sister I'd just handle it differently and this tough guy would have PTSD seizures every time someone said the name Joanie within ear shot of him.
You also should be FAR more mad at your sister than you are at him. he is a dirtbag she is your sister dirtbags don't rate a moments emotion.
Why do people bother to post without reading?
Tacoma
Et incurventur ante non
- Location
- far enough away
probably the same reason they WAY over-react/ -estimate threats.
*sigh*
current status is that she is trying to find someplace in NYC to move to, and trying to figure out the money. And she wants me to talk to him, but maybe I"d better not since I'll either be killed, or sent to prison.
*sigh*
current status is that she is trying to find someplace in NYC to move to, and trying to figure out the money. And she wants me to talk to him, but maybe I"d better not since I'll either be killed, or sent to prison.
Brett
Meat-Hippy
- Location
- Salt Lake City Utah
You'll be killed?????
Tacoma
Et incurventur ante non
- Location
- far enough away
Yup. KILLT
Brett
Meat-Hippy
- Location
- Salt Lake City Utah
Well, get him first before he gets you!