how to guarantee a noobie will hate camping

[sixstringsteve]

This is totally biased and a bit tongue-in-cheek, but we can have fun with it. What tips can you give to make sure someone HATES camping their first time out? (and stories behind this advice is an extra bonus).

 

[sixstringsteve]

- buy the biggest, cheapest dome tent you can find

 

[sixstringsteve]

- buy the biggest, cheapest air mattress you can find. Walmart is a great source for air mattresses.

 

[Herzog]

Make sure cooler water gets in all the food.

 

[Marsh99]

Don't over pack on food. You should only bring small meals and no snacks.

 

[RogueJeepr]

Take them to "freeze yur tail off" for their first time . Or during the summer solstice .

 

[Kevin B.]

Leave behind the bug spray.

Camp in a pay campground infested with ATVs and UTVs.

Burn-I-mean-cook dinner in crappy Stansport aluminum pans.

 

[cruiseroutfit]

Take them to "freeze yur tail off" for their first time . Or during the summer solstice .

LOL

 

[sixstringsteve]

make sure your foil dinners aren't pre-cooked and are sitting in the bottom of the cooler so they're frozen.

 

[sixstringsteve]

Take them to "freeze yur tail off" for their first time .

Everyone I've take to FYTO has been hooked for life. Weird, I know. I look forward to that gathering more than just about any other overnighter for some strange reason.

 

[Rot Box]

Good stuff.

-Camp in a tent at the sand dunes.
-Camp near a keg party.
-Bring lunchmeat of questionable age/quality and forget to bring the Pepto Bismol.
-Bring along a loud, intoxicated, self absorbed New-Englander. (I'm related to one if you want to take him out for the weekend )
-Take an unreliable vehicle with a mostly dead battery.

 

[AaronPaige]

I love the dead battery, hope for wind oh and use only garbage in your camp fire if you get one at all...

 

[DaveB]

Some from my years of scout and family camping.
Make sure you camp next to people that think you love listening to their music until 2 AM and threaten you and drive their motorbikes through your camp when you politely ask them to turn it down.
Take cheap tents with bad zippers when it rains for three days straight.
Make sure to camp on a slope so that they keep on rolling to one side of their tent.
Camp in a high wind storm in cheap tents that aren't staked down well.
Take springbar tents for winter camps where the ground is frozen.
Set up your tents where the water drains in a rain storm.
Camp next to drunken idiots who wander through your camp saying stupid stuff like "lets light these tents on fire".
Go winter camping and take your dining fly instead of your tent.
Set up your camp in the dark only to find out when the wind changes direction that there are dead cows next to your camp.

 

[Kevin B.]

Set up your tents where the water drains in a rain storm.

Better yet, set up your tents in that nice flat sandy spot next to the pretty creek, about a 1/4 mile from the estuary. Don't check the tide tables.

/been there

 

[bamacpl]

I think I just peed a lil'!!!

 

[mesha]

Early January in the sinks.

 

[sixstringsteve]

go to a really populated area on a holiday weekend, like Granite Flats. Then enjoy people driving by, shining their headlights in your tent every 5 minutes

 

[sixstringsteve]

leave your jerky and food in the tent to make sure you don't have to get out of your bag to snack at night.

 

[jentzschman]

leave your jerky and food in the tent to make sure you don't have to get out of your bag to snack at night.

That little one is for the in-laws you don't like: "hey bob, here are those chips you like a lot"

 

[sixstringsteve]

make sure nobody brings the silverware (this happens about 80% of the time I go camping without my wife).