if you could ask your grandparents or great-grandparent 3 things, what would you ask?

[sixstringsteve]

My wife and I are starting a business capturing the stories of families' older generations (and current, living generations as well). We're still in the planning stages, but we're looking for good interview questions and points of discussion when interviewing grandparents and relatives. If you could ask your (dead or living) grandparents or great grandparents 3 things, what would you ask? What would you like to know about their lives?

Feel free to share any of your parents or grandparents stories here, this could get fun.

 

[jackjoh]

Since I am a great-grandparent just ask me. Questions I would ask. 1. How did the family survive the great potato famine in Ireland and is that the reason you moved to the United States of America. 2. It is hard to understand the Civil War, why did you fight? 3. I am positive Cowboys and Indians were not like you see in the movies, what were they really like?

One thing I remember, people were much dirtier and smelled bad, Saturday night bath was a luxury and you only washed you hands, face and feet during the week. Going without shoes was common.

 

[sixstringsteve]

great ideas jack. What do you wish your grandkids and great grandkids knew about you? What one piece of advice would you give them?

 

[sixstringsteve]

I don't know of a tactful way to ask, but i think it'd be cool to hear their character flaws too. Does a short temper run in my family? Were they aggressive or passive? Did they spare the rod and spoil the child, or not? I imagine most people wouldn't want to answer these questions, but I think they're fascinating.

 

[blznnp]

I don't know about things to ask, I just always enjoyed listening to them talk about when they were younger. Or learning that one of my grandpas went to school for mechanics (he owned a small jewelry store in down town salt lake for a while, so I never knew). before my last grandparent (grandpa) passed away, my mom was trying to get his life story, was awesome listening to him talk about the ships he was on in the navy, or the parties they had, or the people he has met (he was the right hand man of one of the biggest business people in the state so he knew all types of wealthy and "higher ups"). I also like to listen to what are peoples regrets, what they would have done differently, stuff like that.

 

[sixstringsteve]

great stuff on the regrets and do-overs, i like that.

Funny story from my grandma. She was taught that smoking was wrong, but it looked so cool, and one day she decided to try it. SHe was young. Maybe 8 or 10. So one day she went out to the outhouse (they didn't have indoor plumbing), and she rolled up a piece of toilet paper to look like a cigarette and lit it. She breathed in a huge puff of smoke and started coughing uncontrollably. She decided never to "smoke" again after that. I was dying listening to that story.

 

[jackjoh]

I joined the Mormon Church after three failed marriages when I was 49 years old but I kept my children and step-children. I told my children and grandchildren (the great grandchild is not old enough to understand) to join a church and if you don't you must follow the 10 commandments in your lives. They all do as well as they can and have good lives. Most people are weak and need the influence of religion to help them.
One of the hardest lessons of life to learn is that men and women are different. We, men and women, must learn that we are not always right and do not have to be always right. Giving in to an others wishes is not a sign of weakness but of strength.
I wrote this in an emotional state so excuse any grammatical mistakes.

 

[sixstringsteve]

thanks for sharing that jack.

 

[UNSTUCK]

Tell us more about how your business works. Is your customer the grandparent or maybe the grand kid that want info about the grandparent?

My dad passed away a while ago. Before I was an adult. There are tons of grown up questions I would have loved to ask him. His parents are both alive still. They know the answers to some of my questions. I have seen them maybe five times in my life. We always felt they didn't like us. The past year has been better though. My wife has really pushed me to develop a relationship with them. But it is very hard to get them to talk. Awhile ago my mom gave them a journal with questions in it. They answered every question with one word responses. I didn't learn much. Maybe you could help.

 

[sixstringsteve]

I would love to help with that if possible.

I'm still trying to figure out the details. I think the target audience is children and grandchildren, or spouses who want their spouse's story told. If an individual wants us to record their story, that's cool too.

I'll probably charge a flat fee for conducting the interview, then an hourly fee based on how long it takes to edit and publish. I'm open to suggestions. I'll be developing my ideas over here:

www.Capturetheirstory.weebly.com

 

[Pile of parts]

I actually had a middle school histoty teacher that made us do almost this exact thing only he provided the questions. I interviewed my mom's mom. I tape recorded the interview and wrote the report. That was a long time ago. Wish I had it now. Fortunately, grandma made it 94 years, passing away last fall. Sound mind and health to the end. Grand children and great grand children got to know her well. She was the last of my grandparents. Grandpa passed away a few years ago at 89 but was also active to the end. My dad died when I was 11 and his parents died when I was in my teens. They were mid 80s to mid 90s. I do know some stories/history about them but like Josh said, don't have an adult knowledge/relationship of my dad. Now that k have outlived him, I find myself asking my mom lots of question about what he was really like.
Sorry for the long rant but I think its an important service you're looking to provide. Hopefully people will see the value.

 

[sixstringsteve]

Cool story, and props to your history teacher! Thanks for sharing that.

 

[RogueJeepr]

My grandpa on my dads side had a brother that served in WW2 . The only thing I know about him is he was on a bomber and it got shot down somewhere over Germany. I think it would be cool if he could go to the memorial to see his name on the wall.

 

[Toad]

great stuff on the regrets and do-overs, i like that.

Funny story from my grandma. She was taught that smoking was wrong, but it looked so cool, and one day she decided to try it. SHe was young. Maybe 8 or 10. So one day she went out to the outhouse (they didn't have indoor plumbing), and she rolled up a piece of toilet paper to look like a cigarette and lit it. She breathed in a huge puff of smoke and started coughing uncontrollably. She decided never to "smoke" again after that. I was dying listening to that story.

Been there done that. Except it was old newspaper filled with weeds. That did it for me

 

[ricsrx]

my grandpa at the age of 20 was deer hunting with his brother, they shot and killed a 4 point buck, my grandpa straddled the neck of the deer to slit its throat. as he grabbed the antlers to lift its head the the buck came too and stood up with my grandpa riding him like a horse! the buck took off like a bull in a rodeo! and grandpa yelling to his brother to shoot the deer! shoot the deer! his brother was laughing so hard he dropped the gun, apparently the bullet grazed the head of the deer and knocked him out, grandpa road the deer until it died (heart attack they say) he said he kept waiting for the 8 second buzzer to sound so he could get off and another part of the story was he was afraid to get off because he was sure the deer would kill him.

the best part for me, i was thinking.. here I am in my 20's , sitting around a camp fire at a family reunion, and listening to them recount a story that happened over 60 years ago, to see them change from 90 year old men, their lives almost at an end, into 20 year old boys from the past, they both would about fall off their chairs with excitement when telling it.

 

[sixstringsteve]

that's one of the best stories I've ever heard.

 

[Houndoc]

Interesting thread. May alert my wife to it as she does the same type of business (memoir, family histories from interviews to book.)

I would love to be able to talk more to my great-grandmother about how she saw the world change. In her 90+ years (she was born 1896) we had everything from the Wright brothers first flight to the space shuttle. I knew her well (she died while I was on my church mission in 1989) but never took the time to talk about how she felt about such things.

Another family member that I would love to go back and talk to is an uncle who died in his 30s when I was 16. He has served a mission in South Africa in the early 70s and I wish I had taken the chance to learn about what it was like there during Apartheid.

 

[KWight]

Steve,

I remember we did the same thing with my grandfather when I was a pre teen. He told some great stories and passed away about 7 years ago. I still remember the story of him letting the horses run back home, still hitched together as he thought they did not need to be unhitched. Problem was they passed by an outhouse on the way back home.

I have also enjoyed reading my great grandfather's missionary journal from the Central States mission in the mid 1800's. He wrote about how they traveled through Missouri without purse or script. Quite the story in comparison with our modern travels.

This past Summer, a coworker and his son did a similar interview with my wife when the doctor told her she had three months left to live. My wife did not accept this prognosis until 3 weeks prior to her death. The coworker and his son had to take great care about how to ask the questions so my wife would not get defensive. I just got them all the pictures for the video that they are making to go with her narrative, so have not seen the finished product yet. I do remember that he asked what advice she would give the children, what hopes or dreams she had for them and what she would tell them at some future event in their lives. Due to the denial process she went through during the last few months of her life, she had delayed writing goodbye letters until her mental capacities were not as strong. The letters do not have as much information in them and were written with the help of the children's Hospice worker. I think that the video will be an invaluable record for our children and future grandchildren as they grow up.

I think the biggest thing that I would want to ask one of my ancestors is about the childhood or family stories that they remember. What was their upbringing like and what tales of dealing with adversity did they have in their lives? Perhaps some interesting stories of their children and what they did as a family for fun. How would they define the legacy they are leaving for their descendants?

 

[ID Bronco]

One thing I think is really important is hearing their voices. Having a video would even be way better, but I have heard my wife's grandmother sing on a record, and it brought her more to life for all of us. It's like reading a talk from a church leader doesn't carry the impact/humor/personality it does when viewed or heard.

1. How was the depression on you?
2. more stories on wwII
3. What would they want me to know about them.
4. their testimony

 

[ID Bronco]

Steve,

I remember we did the same thing with my grandfather when I was a pre teen. He told some great stories and passed away about 7 years ago. I still remember the story of him letting the horses run back home, still hitched together as he thought they did not need to be unhitched. Problem was they passed by an outhouse on the way back home.

I have also enjoyed reading my great grandfather's missionary journal from the Central States mission in the mid 1800's. He wrote about how they traveled through Missouri without purse or script. Quite the story in comparison with our modern travels.

This past Summer, a coworker and his son did a similar interview with my wife when the doctor told her she had three months left to live. My wife did not accept this prognosis until 3 weeks prior to her death. The coworker and his son had to take great care about how to ask the questions so my wife would not get defensive. I just got them all the pictures for the video that they are making to go with her narrative, so have not seen the finished product yet. I do remember that he asked what advice she would give the children, what hopes or dreams she had for them and what she would tell them at some future event in their lives. Due to the denial process she went through during the last few months of her life, she had delayed writing goodbye letters until her mental capacities were not as strong. The letters do not have as much information in them and were written with the help of the children's Hospice worker. I think that the video will be an invaluable record for our children and future grandchildren as they grow up.

I think the biggest thing that I would want to ask one of my ancestors is about the childhood or family stories that they remember. What was their upbringing like and what tales of dealing with adversity did they have in their lives? Perhaps some interesting stories of their children and what they did as a family for fun. How would they define the legacy they are leaving for their descendants?

Wow, I'm sorry for your family's loss.

When my mom died suddenly my heart ached to have had something like this of her. The photo/tribute/music thing from the mortuary was nice but innadequate to what I want my children to remember about their grandmother.