Mental health: it’s ok to talk.

[jeeper]

Yesterday was my friends would-be birthday if he were still around. It's been fun to see all the post on his and his families FB pages from all the people thinking about him and doing activities in his honor. I can only imagine that if he could see the love that was here the whole time that things would have been different.

So I guess this is a small reminder to speak up if you need help, and speak up when you see someone that needs help. Follow your instincts to get involved.

 

[mbryson]

PLEASE speak up. I had a cousin take his own life about a month ago. He was 48. We weren't close at all but it still sucks he had no one to reach out to

 

[Thursty]

My sister just lost a nephew-in-law to suicide a couple days ago. He was 21. I’ll echo what’s already been said about speaking up, reaching out etc, but when you’re in that situation it can be damn near impossible to find that courage/ability. As friends with those who might be struggling; when you think someone is not ok you’re probable right. If their reply to your question is “I’m fine” that’s your cue to reach out.

 

[Thursty]

You can now call — or text — the new mental health resource number: 988
https://www.ksl.com/article/5044128...ext-the-new-mental-health-resource-number-988

 

[Rot Box]

My wife’s boss took his own life recently—left behind a wife and five kids. My wife is still having a very hard time with all of it.

From what little I knew of him you would have never known he was struggling. It’s easy to hide for sure. He always has a smile and was such a great person to everyone that knew him. He would give you the shirt off of his back. His brother died by suicide 27 years ago in his late teens/early 20’s.

Oh man. Heart breaker for sure

 

[YouKnowWho]

I'm with ya. I don't know how many of you saw where I used to live in Dry Canyon. I kept saying I loved it. In a sense I did. But I really didn't realize how detrimental is was living up there. There were a lot of factors that made it unpleasant. Social, political, legal, psychological, medical, financial, you name it. All I can say is, it's all I had at the time. Now in Richfield, going back to school in a few weeks. And if you're a bit hungry, hit up KFC. You might catch me there. I will say though, their chicken is still the healthiest fast food around.

With what Jeeper said, I'm willing to talk to someone if they need an ear. I'd rather miss a movie or some sleep or whatever than to see one of my friends pick the wrong door in life.

 

[Pike2350]

This is a little different, but still kind of fits here, in MANY different ways. It is mental health of grief, and forgiveness, mental health when you are lost and depressed and the extreme consequences that can happen.

I was friends with Zach Snarr and Yvette Rodier, who were needlessly shot (Zach killed) by Jorge Benvenudo back in 1996. The Letter Podcast is going over the story. It's a sad story, but so far, the podcast is pretty good at covering all of the story. While I have not talked to Yvette for quite a long time, I still think about her, Zach, and Zach's family often. There is a lot of the story that I have never heard, mostly from the killer. I knew of his "wanting to see what it was like to shoot someone" and that he was suffering from fear, depression and just being angry....but I didn't realize he was a normal person leading up to this. The story makes me think about the fear I have had with my oldest daughter's mom who is mentally unstable. That it only takes 5 secs of extreme grief/anger/fear/depression to do something extremely drastic. You may not feel that way all the time, but a few seconds can have extreme consequences.

I am also in awe of the Snarr's, overcoming SO MUCH GRIEF, not just from Zach's murder but also losing their youngest son. How does a mother or father pull out of that? Not only from the grief, but the forgiveness? They are truly as genuine and nice as the podcast portrays....and I am glad they have been able to find peace.

Anyway, I just needed to let it out a little. Listening to these episodes has been super tough for me, but in some ways, it does help to hear how the Snarr's are now. I feel much more sympathy for Benvenudo now. While he still needs to server his time, I can't help but think how easily extreme feelings can make someone act very irrational and do something that can change, not only their own life, but the lives of those around them. So please, talk to someone if you are at all feeling depressed. It is much better to get it out then to sink inward. I, myself have struggled more recently with it. I have talked to my wife about it and will likely go back to my therapist for a few check up sessions.....I just wanted to let people know that there can be a light at the end of the long dark tunnel.

If you are curious about the podcast, it's The Letter Podcast. They also have the story on KSL.

 

[Kevin B.]

So I haven't really talked about this yet with anybody but immediate family, but I lost my Dad a couple weeks ago. It was pretty sudden, we got the word from his wife on a Tuesday night that he was missing, hadn't come back from a hike. I booked a flight early Wednesday morning and was doing 100 mph on I-5 to get to where he was last seen when the news went from bad to worse. It was a bad couple days and then things started getting better, like they do, but I'm still getting these really weird waves of grief, they hit out of nowhere and just take me completely out of the world, put me in third person mode and nothing matters and I just move around on autopilot for a couple hours until they pass. While I'm in the middle of one I'm utterly dead inside, emotion just isn't a thing, energy and motivation aren't things. And then as it passes emotion is definitely a thing, and I'm simultaneously sad and angry and irritated and who knows what else and entirely unfit for human companionship for a bit.

I've been depressed before, been fighting depression of one flavor or another for a while in fact, and I've dealt with losing immediate family, but these are ... they're a thing, for sure. It's uncanny. I guess this got kinda long and I didn't mean it to but I suppose my point is, I didn't know what kind of physiological effects depression could have on a person. I thought I knew. I was wrong. I'm not at all surprised that a "normal" guy could could do what Benvenudo did. Feelings are real, and we all like to think that we've got a handle on ours, and most of us probably do. Until we don't.

I'm not having any bad thoughts, I'm not in danger and I don't need anyone to store my guns, this'll pass. Mostly I think I just need to go camping. But I thought I'd post to reiterate that I'm here, for anyone that needs an ear or a shoulder. I thought I understood before what sort of black places a person's mind could take them, and I think maybe I understand a little better now, and probably there's more that I don't understand but if any of you are in that place alone, and you don't want to be alone, hit me up.

 

[Hickey]

So I haven't really talked about this yet with anybody but immediate family, but I lost my Dad a couple weeks ago. It was pretty sudden, we got the word from his wife on a Tuesday night that he was missing, hadn't come back from a hike. I booked a flight early Wednesday morning and was doing 100 mph on I-5 to get to where he was last seen when the news went from bad to worse. It was a bad couple days and then things started getting better, like they do, but I'm still getting these really weird waves of grief, they hit out of nowhere and just take me completely out of the world, put me in third person mode and nothing matters and I just move around on autopilot for a couple hours until they pass. While I'm in the middle of one I'm utterly dead inside, emotion just isn't a thing, energy and motivation aren't things. And then as it passes emotion is definitely a thing, and I'm simultaneously sad and angry and irritated and who knows what else and entirely unfit for human companionship for a bit.

I've been depressed before, been fighting depression of one flavor or another for a while in fact, and I've dealt with losing immediate family, but these are ... they're a thing, for sure. It's uncanny. I guess this got kinda long and I didn't mean it to but I suppose my point is, I didn't know what kind of physiological effects depression could have on a person. I thought I knew. I was wrong. I'm not at all surprised that a "normal" guy could could do what Benvenudo did. Feelings are real, and we all like to think that we've got a handle on ours, and most of us probably do. Until we don't.

I'm not having any bad thoughts, I'm not in danger and I don't need anyone to store my guns, this'll pass. Mostly I think I just need to go camping. But I thought I'd post to reiterate that I'm here, for anyone that needs an ear or a shoulder. I thought I understood before what sort of black places a person's mind could take them, and I think maybe I understand a little better now, and probably there's more that I don't understand but if any of you are in that place alone, and you don't want to be alone, hit me up.

That sounds like part of the process for grieving. The fact that you recognize it is a big deal. And it's OK. It sounds pretty familiar for me.

You definitely need to go camping. Take a friend or a dog.

 

[ChestonScout]

My dad died in 2018. He had health problems but nothing life threatening so when he passed it was a pretty big shock.

I totally understand what you are going through. I was pretty much exactly the same.

I had a rough spell before that too.

Our family cabin burned to the ground with no insurance. My Grampie passed 6 months later, then my Dad.

I’m ok but I am definitely not the same person I was before.

Super sorry to hear about your Dad.

 

[jeeper]

I am sorry about your dad. That is heartbreaking.
Thank you for being open with all of us.

 

[Houndoc]

This is a little different, but still kind of fits here, in MANY different ways. It is mental health of grief, and forgiveness, mental health when you are lost and depressed and the extreme consequences that can happen.

I was friends with Zach Snarr and Yvette Rodier, who were needlessly shot (Zach killed) by Jorge Benvenudo back in 1996. The Letter Podcast is going over the story. It's a sad story, but so far, the podcast is pretty good at covering all of the story. While I have not talked to Yvette for quite a long time, I still think about her, Zach, and Zach's family often. There is a lot of the story that I have never heard, mostly from the killer. I knew of his "wanting to see what it was like to shoot someone" and that he was suffering from fear, depression and just being angry....but I didn't realize he was a normal person leading up to this. The story makes me think about the fear I have had with my oldest daughter's mom who is mentally unstable. That it only takes 5 secs of extreme grief/anger/fear/depression to do something extremely drastic. You may not feel that way all the time, but a few seconds can have extreme consequences.

I am also in awe of the Snarr's, overcoming SO MUCH GRIEF, not just from Zach's murder but also losing their youngest son. How does a mother or father pull out of that? Not only from the grief, but the forgiveness? They are truly as genuine and nice as the podcast portrays....and I am glad they have been able to find peace.

Anyway, I just needed to let it out a little. Listening to these episodes has been super tough for me, but in some ways, it does help to hear how the Snarr's are now. I feel much more sympathy for Benvenudo now. While he still needs to server his time, I can't help but think how easily extreme feelings can make someone act very irrational and do something that can change, not only their own life, but the lives of those around them. So please, talk to someone if you are at all feeling depressed. It is much better to get it out then to sink inward. I, myself have struggled more recently with it. I have talked to my wife about it and will likely go back to my therapist for a few check up sessions.....I just wanted to let people know that there can be a light at the end of the long dark tunnel.

If you are curious about the podcast, it's The Letter Podcast. They also have the story on KSL.

Reliving the deaths of friends via news coverage is hard. Seeing the news updates on the family murdered by their son in Grantsville a couple years ago is tough, as we knew the entire family, including the shooter, well. My thoughts are with you.

So I haven't really talked about this yet with anybody but immediate family, but I lost my Dad a couple weeks ago. It was pretty sudden, we got the word from his wife on a Tuesday night that he was missing, hadn't come back from a hike. I booked a flight early Wednesday morning and was doing 100 mph on I-5 to get to where he was last seen when the news went from bad to worse. It was a bad couple days and then things started getting better, like they do, but I'm still getting these really weird waves of grief, they hit out of nowhere and just take me completely out of the world, put me in third person mode and nothing matters and I just move around on autopilot for a couple hours until they pass. While I'm in the middle of one I'm utterly dead inside, emotion just isn't a thing, energy and motivation aren't things. And then as it passes emotion is definitely a thing, and I'm simultaneously sad and angry and irritated and who knows what else and entirely unfit for human companionship for a bit.

I've been depressed before, been fighting depression of one flavor or another for a while in fact, and I've dealt with losing immediate family, but these are ... they're a thing, for sure. It's uncanny. I guess this got kinda long and I didn't mean it to but I suppose my point is, I didn't know what kind of physiological effects depression could have on a person. I thought I knew. I was wrong. I'm not at all surprised that a "normal" guy could could do what Benvenudo did. Feelings are real, and we all like to think that we've got a handle on ours, and most of us probably do. Until we don't.

I'm not having any bad thoughts, I'm not in danger and I don't need anyone to store my guns, this'll pass. Mostly I think I just need to go camping. But I thought I'd post to reiterate that I'm here, for anyone that needs an ear or a shoulder. I thought I understood before what sort of black places a person's mind could take them, and I think maybe I understand a little better now, and probably there's more that I don't understand but if any of you are in that place alone, and you don't want to be alone, hit me up.

Sorry to hear about your loss.

 

[ChestonScout]

Anybody else have seasonal issues?


It’s pretty funny. When I was young I lived for winter. I would chase snow. I would be snowboarding with a mere skiff on the ground. That’s when I was happy

Now that I’m older and can no longer snow board the winter gets me down. Go to work in the dark, get home in the dark, too cold to want to do anything. Inversion makes things even worse. I need sunshine and warm.

Last year my wife made me go tanning a few times and I think it did help. Bi-weekly trips to St George seemed to be better tho. With diesel prices I probably will only make it down there once or twice this year.

I could totally see myself being a snow bird if I was able

 

[J-mobzz]

Anybody else have seasonal issues?


It’s pretty funny. When I was young I lived for winter. I would chase snow. I would be snowboarding with a mere skiff on the ground. That’s when I was happy

Now that I’m older and can no longer snow board the winter gets me down. Go to work in the dark, get home in the dark, too cold to want to do anything. Inversion makes things even worse. I need sunshine and warm.

Last year my wife made me go tanning a few times and I think it did help. Bi-weekly trips to St George seemed to be better tho. With diesel prices I probably will only make it down there once or twice this year.

I could totally see myself being a snow bird if I was able

You know it’s interesting I have suffered the same thing traditionally, throughout winter with depression. And when I was younger also on the mountain snowboarding, this is my fourth year back snowboarding and I actually started skiing last year also. It has been an absolute game changer for my mental health. I absolutely look forward to winter now and love the time I spend on the mountain alone, with friends, and with my family. I think just having that thing to look forward to has change and my mindset. And honestly like I’m motivated to work out now because I want to be in better ski shape. I don’t push myself. I’m not trying to get better. I’m not taking the lines I did as a kid and when my kids cut off to hit the park on the way down I just go around.

Me getting back on the mountain was the best thing I did for my mental health in the winter time. hands-down better than any anti-depressant I've ever taken.

 

[jeeper]

Anybody else have seasonal issues?


It’s pretty funny. When I was young I lived for winter. I would chase snow. I would be snowboarding with a mere skiff on the ground. That’s when I was happy

Now that I’m older and can no longer snow board the winter gets me down. Go to work in the dark, get home in the dark, too cold to want to do anything. Inversion makes things even worse. I need sunshine and warm.

Last year my wife made me go tanning a few times and I think it did help. Bi-weekly trips to St George seemed to be better tho. With diesel prices I probably will only make it down there once or twice this year.

I could totally see myself being a snow bird if I was able

I have had a winter depression for 10-15 years now. It got significantly better once I put a furnace in my garage, which allows me to be productive sometimes at night and weekends. But the biting cold and lack of light make winter pretty lousy for me. We will snow bird as soon as it's a possibility financially.

I think on top of the winter depression I have come into a mid-life depression. I am fat and out of shape, but have no will or desire to change. I want to be outside, but can't because I work too much (and now throw in winter) The things I love the most (motorcycles and camping) have become more of a hassle than a benefit. It seems harder and harder to line up hanging out with friends. Kids make life a drag with the drama and school garbage to deal with.
I told my wife a few weeks ago I was in a mid-life crisis.. she said I can do or buy whatever I want.. But I'm still too cheap to go buy anything. (I also know that spending money wont actual make anything better)


Maybe we should both make a little more effort to head south a few times for the winter.. sharing costs could make it easier. And being called out on being a lazy turd would be good for me.

 

[ChestonScout]

I have had a winter depression for 10-15 years now. It got significantly better once I put a furnace in my garage, which allows me to be productive sometimes at night and weekends. But the biting cold and lack of light make winter pretty lousy for me. We will snow bird as soon as it's a possibility financially.

I think on top of the winter depression I have come into a mid-life depression. I am fat and out of shape, but have no will or desire to change. I want to be outside, but can't because I work too much (and now throw in winter) The things I love the most (motorcycles and camping) have become more of a hassle than a benefit. It seems harder and harder to line up hanging out with friends. Kids make life a drag with the drama and school garbage to deal with.
I told my wife a few weeks ago I was in a mid-life crisis.. she said I can do or buy whatever I want.. But I'm still too cheap to go buy anything. (I also know that spending money wont actual make anything better)


Maybe we should both make a little more effort to head south a few times for the winter.. sharing costs could make it easier. And being called out on being a lazy turd would be good for me.

I’m totally down.

I’m right there with you. I’m not too cheap to buy things, just too poor. But ya buying things is definitely a very temporary high

I learned that with the brand new truck last year. No regrets on the new dirt bike tho

 

[moab_cj5]

I love winter, but I have to stay active like many have expressed, to keep my mind right. Getting out of the inversion is a must too. I didn't ski last year for the first time in many years, but I went camping more instead. I love to camp, even in the winter. For me there is something about being really cold, but persevering, that helps me feel good. I didn't buy a ski pass this season either, so I am already looking at more camping trips this winter to keep sane.

I too have fallen out of prime cardiovascular and muscular shape, and need to drop a large number of #'s. I have been encouraged by 2 doctors in the last month to get more physical activity. The challenge is prioritizing the time to exercise and I HATE going to a gym. Since I won't be traveling until likely Feb for work, I will be hiking or snowshoeing every Wed night to get some activity, and walking around my neighborhood on Sundays. I am trying to get motivated to go to the gym we have in our office building at least once a week too, but I have yet to make that happen.

I would be down on some southern excursions to the Swell, or other areas closer to home, that offer blue skies.

 

[Evolved]

It sounds so cliché but after years of being down during the winter, I started focusing on positive things and finding little wins. This may not work for everyone but I have made a solid effort to try and change my mindset. I used to focus on all of the shitty things around me and I also worried about things way out of my control for a long time. This was a recipe for disaster.

Once I started realizing my life is actually pretty damn good and there are things that I will never be able to control. Things got easier. I'll be honest in that some couples therapy helped out with this. Therapy has such a bad perception (especially to males) but you get out what you put in. Essentially my experience has been talking with a person that helps you look at things differently. It wasn't the lay down on a couch and talk about traumas as a kid. It was more about how life is right now and how are you working through this. I/we go once a month for an hour and our marriage is better (it wasn't bad to begin with), my mindset and stress levels are better. I just need to lose my gut but... I love me some whiskey and crappy food.

I am not advocating for anyone to go to therapy. I am advocating of finding something that helps you. A podcast, ski, get outside, a book, maybe even documentaries. In the world today there is help everywhere to deal with mental help. Just make time to find something. Anything.

 

[ChestonScout]

I seen your posts for the hikes. I would like to try to make it.

My knees are just too bad to snowboard now. I can dirt bike, mt bike and hike minimally without issue but as soon as I try to twist, it gives out.

I haven’t tried skiing in 25 years. I wonder if that would be doable

 

[ChestonScout]

It sounds so cliché but after years of being down during the winter, I started focusing on positive things and finding little wins. This may not work for everyone but I have made a solid effort to try and change my mindset. I used to focus on all of the shitty things around me and I also worried about things way out of my control for a long time. This was a recipe for disaster.

Once I started realizing my life is actually pretty damn good and there are things that I will never be able to control. Things got easier. I'll be honest in that some couples therapy helped out with this. Therapy has such a bad perception (especially to males) but you get out what you put in. Essentially my experience has been talking with a person that helps you look at things differently. It wasn't the lay down on a couch and talk about traumas as a kid. It was more about how life is right now and how are you working through this. I/we go once a month for an hour and our marriage is better (it wasn't bad to begin with), my mindset and stress levels are better. I just need to lose my gut but... I love me some whiskey and crappy food.

I am not advocating for anyone to go to therapy. I am advocating of finding something that helps you. A podcast, ski, get outside, a book, maybe even documentaries. In the world today there is help everywhere to deal with mental help. Just make time to find something. Anything.

TOTALLY agree with this. A guy just needs something.

Dirt bike has been my therapy for the last few years and I have been in way better shape (mentally and physically) than I’ve been in awhile. But 6 weeks off the bike with no ride planned and cold and snow……