Mental health: it’s ok to talk.

[cruiseroutfit]

Here's a picture of one of the rooms at that place from when you and I were there like a decade ago. Straight out of a horror movie.

If I recall, there were also children's toys on the floor, and red hand prints dragged across the opposite wall. Really sells the place.

So it needs a paint job and some carpet

 

[Pike2350]

Not to hijacked the hijack of this thread but I have been struggling with mental health again..

My mom passed away on Sunday, somewhat unexpectedly. This has thrown me for a loop. I come from a big family (6 siblings) and they are all amazing. They have been there for my mom for and dad prior to his passing in May. Where I am struggling is feeling like I have been the shifty child. I don't feel I did enough for or with my parents in the end.

I wasn't absent at all, but nothing like them. I do have younger kids then the rest and that makes it aam bit more difficult to have the free time to be there. Not that it is an excuse.

I think ultimately, between a horrible year with 4 family deaths between my wife and I, my 2 being both parents. Financial hardships selling my wheeler from lack of use and struggling with having friends to hang out with. I have been depressed for awhile. Now my mom passing has really made me evaluate things.

I just wanted to get some of that out. I have been trying to be better about reaching out to my friends and talking, but growing up in a big family that is close, I not having regular people to just associate with frequently has been hard for me. I may be quiet and an introvert but I still prefer to be around people rather than not.

Sorry for my rambling. Back to land purchase talk for mental health

 

[Hickey]

I could offer a day trip at my property for a bonfire if you guys are interested. There isn’t much Wheelin’ but you do need 4WD to get to it in the winter. It’s always helped my mental health because it’s a big damn fire, outside, physical work keeping the fire pile condensed as the edges burn away, and it’s just barely below 7k elevation.

We’d all go down for the day, hike or drive down close to a wood pile, light that sucker and drink a beer or two as we work the burn pile. We’ll be down to shirt sleeves 30 minutes after the fire is lit and you’ll come home with a sunburn and a smile.

Centrally located 10 miles north of Fairview, UT.


Greg’s idea is also a great one, but this could be an additional opportunity for those that can’t make two days on the weekend.

 

[Hickey]

 

[Pile of parts]

Hang in there! It's not all about "in the end." Your parents/family know how you feel about them and you know how they feel about you. Don't focus on what you think you could have done, remember the things you did. Stay close with your family and keep reaching out to friends.

 

[jeeper]

Not to hijacked the hijack of this thread but I have been struggling with mental health again..

My mom passed away on Sunday, somewhat unexpectedly. This has thrown me for a loop. I come from a big family (6 siblings) and they are all amazing. They have been there for my mom for and dad prior to his passing in May. Where I am struggling is feeling like I have been the shifty child. I don't feel I did enough for or with my parents in the end.

I wasn't absent at all, but nothing like them. I do have younger kids then the rest and that makes it aam bit more difficult to have the free time to be there. Not that it is an excuse.

I think ultimately, between a horrible year with 4 family deaths between my wife and I, my 2 being both parents. Financial hardships selling my wheeler from lack of use and struggling with having friends to hang out with. I have been depressed for awhile. Now my mom passing has really made me evaluate things.

I just wanted to get some of that out. I have been trying to be better about reaching out to my friends and talking, but growing up in a big family that is close, I not having regular people to just associate with frequently has been hard for me. I may be quiet and an introvert but I still prefer to be around people rather than not.

Sorry for my rambling. Back to land purchase talk for mental health

I am sorry you are going through this, and sorry for the loss.

I had some real struggles feeling similar when my grandpa passed. It really helped me put more effort into visiting the remaining grandparents often prior to their passings which was a great blessing to be around them more, especially for my kids.
Ironically, I avoid seeing my own parents as much as possible.

My assumption is that your parents knew exactly who you are, and were proud of you. They know you did your best.
I don't know your after-life beliefs, but it gives me comfort to believe that people we love are not gone forever.. and that they are quite possibly watching over us now.

 

[Tonkaman]

Not to hijacked the hijack of this thread but I have been struggling with mental health again..



Sorry for my rambling. Back to land purchase talk for mental health

I know you are just being funny, but don’t ever apologize for being an honest and open person. Even when it’s for laughs a part of your mind believes you should just stay quiet and in the shadows.

I’m glad you got this thread back on track and spoke up. Every one of us is just like you, that’s why we all are drawn to RME.

I’d like to think that no matter how distracted or off-coarse my kid gets she will still know how much I love and appreciate her. I’m sure your parents are no different.

 

[Thursty]

Not to hijacked the hijack of this thread but I have been struggling with mental health again..

My mom passed away on Sunday, somewhat unexpectedly. This has thrown me for a loop. I come from a big family (6 siblings) and they are all amazing. They have been there for my mom for and dad prior to his passing in May. Where I am struggling is feeling like I have been the shifty child. I don't feel I did enough for or with my parents in the end.

I wasn't absent at all, but nothing like them. I do have younger kids then the rest and that makes it aam bit more difficult to have the free time to be there. Not that it is an excuse.

I think ultimately, between a horrible year with 4 family deaths between my wife and I, my 2 being both parents. Financial hardships selling my wheeler from lack of use and struggling with having friends to hang out with. I have been depressed for awhile. Now my mom passing has really made me evaluate things.

I just wanted to get some of that out. I have been trying to be better about reaching out to my friends and talking, but growing up in a big family that is close, I not having regular people to just associate with frequently has been hard for me. I may be quiet and an introvert but I still prefer to be around people rather than not.

Sorry for my rambling. Back to land purchase talk for mental health

Please don’t apologize and I’m glad you shared this with us. Taking the time to organize your thoughts and type them out is a huge step and very beneficial! I can somewhat relate to your experience as I moved away from Pleasant Grove, where my parents were (Mom still is), to Moab, Bicknell and ultimately Green River. I always felt bad for not spending as much time with them as my other siblings did especially after having my daughter. I knew my dad understood as he’d done something similar when he was my age. I did see my parents as much I could when we were in town which was frequent and they knew/know how I felt about them. That’s what truly matters. Leave nothing unsaid. I’m sure your parents knew.

 

[JeeperG]

I'll chime in a little bit here and say that there should be no stigma on seeking help or going to therapy if you need to either, I had to come to the realization this year after another failed relationship hit me really hard, the ways of my father of just pushing things aside and "being a man" are not healthy. I am essentially divorced with no kids? I believe I have always had anxiety and occasional depression, I take no medications at all, I am fortunate to have family I can lean on but I also don't want to lay everything on them all the time so I go once a week and unload on a guy. Is it a cure all, no but it helps.

I've had many ups and downs especially since the ex wife, she attempted suicide and blamed me, I know it had nothing to do with me, the loss of my father to cancer was pretty rough and I still think about him all the time, I have a pretty high possibility of having an almost adult son out there I may never know the truth on, I recently did a ancestry DNA because I feel that is the best I can do at this point to someday maybe find out, last year I also had some health problems, blood pressure meds and crap were given, made it worse. I think it ended up being anxiety and stress.

I have many other things I have stuffed aside and not properly addressed and am now doing so in many ways besides counceling. I do journaling, I write down things I am grateful for, things I'm proud of myself for. I exercise, I try to eat as healthy as I can, I meditate, I have a mood light in my kitchen for days like today when the sun is not out, I try to get the best sleep I can which doesn't always happen but something I am really trying to improve, I have dropped all my social media for now with the exception of places like this, when I get home I put my phone on the cradle and leave it be as I am also trying to change my habits and be more in the moment and more productive in all aspects. Am hammering this out on a desktop right now.

For those that see my posts about my truck, this isn't just about a truck, I have spent a lot of time with my brother and other family and friends the last seven + years that I may not have if not for that, money can't buy that and I am grateful for that, it also helps, even on those days I am just sick of looking at that thing, I certainly look forward to the end result and all the social aspects and joy it will bring. My Jeep is also laying in pieces on my garage floor and I just don't have the care, time or energy right now to get that thing back on the road but it would be nice so I could go for some wind therapy in that thing.

Living alone can be rough if you spend too much time in your own head, I have a niece moving in with me this weekend and I am going to use this opportunity to be the best uncle ever, we already have a pretty good relationship, I hope I can help guide and mentor her while letting her find her own way into adulthood and a positive male figure in her life that her own father is not.

I may only know some of you but we are all human, it's okay to be vulnerable, its okay to cry, let that shit out, whatever it is that is bothering you, you are not alone.

I am here to listen if anybody ever needs to talk.

 

[YouKnowWho]

You know, my boss sold a good chunk of his property a year or so back, and we're talking about right on Dry Mesa. Has some great spots for camping.

I'd stay away from the place in Thompson. I used to live in Thompson back in '97, and if you knew how many places there had a meth lab at least once.... Not all, but a lot of the older structures.

Yeah, December sucks for me right now- https://www.fox13now.com/news/local-news/families-left-without-homes-after-richfield-building-fire
I *was* living there. Prayers are welcome.

 

[benjy]

My brother-in-law took his own life yesterday.

His challenges started almost a year ago, some health issues plus alcohol addiction led to losing a job at a family company he was banking his career on (other side of the family). This put a major strain on his relationship with that family. Had a couple other jobs in the last year, and was checked into a rehab facility for his addiction in November. Got out, things were looking good, had a new job lined up. I've been reading through all the risk factors and warning signs, and he pretty much checked every box. But he's not the first friend/family member I've had in similar situations, just never with this outcome.

I consider myself in good mental health, but a year ago I would have said the same of my BIL. I've taken "mental health" days before, typically when I'm overwhelmed and just need a "me" day. Even an occasional solo-cation. Sometimes I have felt like I was abusing or misusing the term "mental health" because generally I feel emotionally stable, I feel like I have meaning through my work and family, and have a positive outlook on life.

Thought I'd throw out a couple questions:

• Do you check in on friends and family that may be struggling? Strategies on that? Do you just shoot the breeze, or do you pepper in more direct questions? I really wonder if I had asked my BIL a couple weeks ago if he has suicidal ideation, what would his response have been?
• Is there anyone you need to check in on?
• How do you feel about your social network? Are you proactive in building relationships in real life? RME is good, but a meetup is better
• What is your perspective on mental health days? What about your employees taking mental health days? I've done my share of eye rolling when I get that text from an employee.
• What about kids? How do you check in on their mental health? My girls are almost 9, luckily they're still pretty open, I just want to keep it that way.

 

[cruiseroutfit]

Sorry to hear benjy 😥

 

[Trate D]

My brother-in-law took his own life yesterday.

His challenges started almost a year ago, some health issues plus alcohol addiction led to losing a job at a family company he was banking his career on (other side of the family). This put a major strain on his relationship with that family. Had a couple other jobs in the last year, and was checked into a rehab facility for his addiction in November. Got out, things were looking good, had a new job lined up. I've been reading through all the risk factors and warning signs, and he pretty much checked every box. But he's not the first friend/family member I've had in similar situations, just never with this outcome.

I consider myself in good mental health, but a year ago I would have said the same of my BIL. I've taken "mental health" days before, typically when I'm overwhelmed and just need a "me" day. Even an occasional solo-cation. Sometimes I have felt like I was abusing or misusing the term "mental health" because generally I feel emotionally stable, I feel like I have meaning through my work and family, and have a positive outlook on life.

Thought I'd throw out a couple questions:

• Do you check in on friends and family that may be struggling? Strategies on that? Do you just shoot the breeze, or do you pepper in more direct questions? I really wonder if I had asked my BIL a couple weeks ago if he has suicidal ideation, what would his response have been?
• Is there anyone you need to check in on?
• How do you feel about your social network? Are you proactive in building relationships in real life? RME is good, but a meetup is better
• What is your perspective on mental health days? What about your employees taking mental health days? I've done my share of eye rolling when I get that text from an employee.
• What about kids? How do you check in on their mental health? My girls are almost 9, luckily they're still pretty open, I just want to keep it that way.

I’ve know him for most of my adult life. And I am asking myself all these same questions right now…. I knew he was struggling but seemed like he was pulling out of it. We shared stuff daily with a group through IG and he’s always having a good laugh. I am sorry for your loss, it’s just now I am realizing his riding in badass Jeep story’s must have been with you.

 

[Gravy]

Sorry for your loss Ben.

 

[Hickey]

Man that’s hard. You’re absolutely correct about meet-up’s being better than regular RME chat.

 

[YouKnowWho]

I don't know if this is the right place or not to put this, but in light of the fire I told you guys of, I did a Go Fund Me page. If this is the wrong place, my apologies. https://gofund.me/6533ba80

 

[Tonkaman]

My brother-in-law took his own life yesterday.

His challenges started almost a year ago, some health issues plus alcohol addiction led to losing a job at a family company he was banking his career on (other side of the family). This put a major strain on his relationship with that family. Had a couple other jobs in the last year, and was checked into a rehab facility for his addiction in November. Got out, things were looking good, had a new job lined up. I've been reading through all the risk factors and warning signs, and he pretty much checked every box. But he's not the first friend/family member I've had in similar situations, just never with this outcome.

I consider myself in good mental health, but a year ago I would have said the same of my BIL. I've taken "mental health" days before, typically when I'm overwhelmed and just need a "me" day. Even an occasional solo-cation. Sometimes I have felt like I was abusing or misusing the term "mental health" because generally I feel emotionally stable, I feel like I have meaning through my work and family, and have a positive outlook on life.

Thought I'd throw out a couple questions:

• Do you check in on friends and family that may be struggling? Strategies on that? Do you just shoot the breeze, or do you pepper in more direct questions? I really wonder if I had asked my BIL a couple weeks ago if he has suicidal ideation, what would his response have been?
• Is there anyone you need to check in on?
• How do you feel about your social network? Are you proactive in building relationships in real life? RME is good, but a meetup is better
• What is your perspective on mental health days? What about your employees taking mental health days? I've done my share of eye rolling when I get that text from an employee.
• What about kids? How do you check in on their mental health? My girls are almost 9, luckily they're still pretty open, I just want to keep it that way.

So sorry to hear about your BIL. I hope you and your family can hold each other up and make it through the other side of the pain.


My thoughts on your questions:

- checking in is more about frequency than depth. I know that may seem shallow, but the frequency reminds them they are wanted. It also gives you a baseline on how they are feeling rather than just relying on them opening up. Obviously you can’t just check the boxes and get off the phone, it still has to actually come from a place of concern and care.

- Actually be available when they do wave a small flag for help. Quite often the signals for help are so obscure that it’s easy to just ignore them, and that will stop them from signaling for help in the future.

- kids. Oh boy this one is a rollercoaster ride that I’ve been stuck in for a couple years now. My girl is 12 and believe me when I tell you that 9 is not too young to be heading down the wrong path. Our struggles have been trying to get her to see real life as a good place instead of just comparing it to the perfect world displayed on TV or in stories.

 

[Rot Box]

Sorry for your loss Benjy 😞

 

[Rot Box]

Just thinking out loud. Mental health days… that’s a tough one. Like sick days I wish they were offered by more employers. Two—three a year or something would be sweet—I dunno? Like sick days I’m sure they would get abused by many if they were made available.

I’ve called in sick (used pto) just to take a mental health day a time or two. Some days I just can’t do it I’m sure some of you have been there too. I wouldn’t dare tell my crew I need a mental health day though they’re NOT the type that would understand that nonsense lol.

Maybe it’s just me but it’s funny how it’s totally acceptable to call in for the flu but the eyebrows raise when someone calls in for mental health reasons.

 

[N-Smooth]

I agree with frequency of reaching out to friends/family being more important than quality for most people. I am emotionally needy and like to hear from people. When I’m having a bad day and a friend texts me something- however random it may be, it makes me feel good that somebody wants to text me. Mental health is weird.