Here's a email from Dennis Wood that I thought I would share with you guys.
Subject: From somewhere in Mongolia
Greetings Citizens
Star date 06272012 these are the voyages of a US citizen, seeking out new life forms, making first contact with alien races, going where no cracker has gone before….
After careful review I have discovered that there is a lot to catch up on. They keep us so busy we hardly have time to sleep. The last shop we were in was in Beijing, Mr. Hando’s new store. A Very nice place and actually very busy. I gave you a bit of a run down on it and you probably saw our video. Before we left his shop the owner of a JK we had been working on came to me and asked if I would sign his Jeep. They had is all set up outside and were ready to go, paint pen and all. Steve and Vinny are yucking it up while trying to act professional. I graciously ask the gentleman what he would like me to scrawl on in pristine hood. He says “ Tigger, they call me TIGGER”, I swear that’s what he said. I thought to myself, this should be fun fun fun fun fun, and he’s the only one. By now I’m just rolling with the punches around here. Hey I’ve seen stranger things. So with everyone taking pictures and smiling I clearly write “ To Tigger (really original) Dennis Wood Teraflex”. I stood back and looked and the Paint pen I had just defiled his hood with pondering its permanent nature when it hit me. He probably meant TIGER and just spoke with an accent. I looked around to see everyone’s response to my clearly legible paint pen inscription. No one said anything; it was all shake hands and smiles. The Jeep owner is a Very nice guy and was going to just let it slide, willing endure the peer group ridicule sure to coming his way. I was starting to sweat wondering what to do. I finally asked him if he really meant to have me write Tigger, or should I have written Tiger? He smiled gently just like my father used to do when I was really trying, but screwed something up royally. He apologized for speaking English so poorly and said it was fine the way it was. Yes he meant to say Tiger. Oh CRAP!! No one could understand me when I pleaded for some brake clean… anything to get the paint off his 2012 JK with 500 miles on it, before it dried into a monument to my ineptitude. I scrambled through the shop and found some sticker remover. I shot some on a rag and tested it on a small spot of paint I had dripped on his hood from the paint pen. Paying tithing pays off in mysterious ways; the paint vanished without a trace. I fixed the last few letters and the day was saved. Steve and Vinny were so understanding and thoughtful as they expressed their support, for my actions. At no time was I ridiculed in any way or was the incident ever brought up again,, very many times. I was asked to sign another hood in spite of my previous performance and we were off to the airport, and YINCHUAN.
They sent a guy with us into the airport to make sure we got on the right flight. We had to shell out a little because of our bloated bags and we were off to our gate. I turns out the flight had been delayed.. one hour was the word on the street. No problem, we just went into a small café and ate a snack to kill some time. When it got close to boarding time we went to the gate and sat. Vinny astutely noticed that our gate had been changed. We rushed over to the other gate on the other side of the airport and checked departure time again.. delayed again. What an excellent opportunity to excel at “ where’s the water” the latest in state of the art phone video games. No one shared my enthusiasm. 4 ½ hours later I’m the last man standing. The kids were all asleep while I watched over them. How they slept I have no idea. The natives were starting to get restless, an angry mob was forming at the ticked counter to the gate. The overhead speakers continually blamed the delay on the harsh weather outside. Clear and calm with 30 miles visibility. No one was buying it, not even the guy on the bench behind us with the loudest freaking ringtone on his phone I have ever experienced. People 3 and 4 rows away would turn and look as it played out some communist marching band song complete with a Russian opera star vocalizing the inspiring lyrics. I had to look and see this guy, not only was it loud but he was in no hurry to shut it down. I was cracking up, possibly the worst ring tone I have ever heard… I must have it. He was lucky enough to be involved in something very important because the calls just kept coming. By now everyone was awake and the crowd and the ticket counter was starting to make threating gestures at the poor flight attendants . Then like a miracle we were told we could board the plane. An English speaking lady with several young girls with her asked us if US passengers would act like this….Probably not we are all far too well trained. So we sat on the airplane and waited instead. After 5 ½ hours or so we were on our way.
The flight went well, we landed, some poor guy picked us up at 2:30 in the morning and took us to our hotel. The city is a real change from what we were used to. The streets are wide and there was no traffic to speak of. Due to the late hour we later found out.
As we pulled into the hotel parking lot we were shocked to see some guy laying in the gutter across the street. His arm was bent kinda weird behind him and he was face down not moving at all. Cars would honk as they drove past but no one stopped. Steve (camera in hand) and Vinny headed across the street to see if he had been hit by a car or possibly shot heading for the boarder. A young girl on a scooter stopped and went over to the man. By now a small crowd had gathered. I stayed back to watch our flank and stuff, a totally tactical move made to ensure the safety of all involved, ya that’s it. Anyway the guy didn’t look like he was breathing but came to life as he was rolled over. Our chaperones were freaking out yelling for Steve and Vinny to get back to the hotel. They were really worked up , gosh they were just two Americans trying to help some dead guy lying in the street in a foreign country under communist control at 2:30 in the morning. What could go wrong? Turns out he was serious drunk and just needed to fall over and rest in the gutter for a few hours.
The Hotel was amazing, a very nice place that we used for a staging area for the event. The next morning we headed for what turned out to be one of the nicest dealerships I have ever seen. I have no idea how they ever cover the overhead. I spent a total of 4 days in the shop with the techs. They have nice equipment and no idea how to use it. I was trouble shooting no starts, suspension problems, clearing and checking codes you name it.
I’m not done but here it is ….more to come… we spent 15 hours in the back seat of a JK yesterday listening to Chinese Rap. Everyone should be exposed to it.
Wood out
