A small call for help

glockman

I hate Jeep trucks
Location
Pleasant Grove
I have good news for you, the surgery hasn't seemed to make you any uglier :D Give me a call if you need to chat and get your mind off things. You coming to the banquette Saturday? I think I owe you picking up an award if not.
 

Gravy

Ant Anstead of Dirtbikes
Supporting Member
Well my friends. Bad News. Had an MRI this morning and I about threw up from pain.

Results came back this afternoon and it looks like I am the one in 10 that spontaneously re herniates their disc. Probably nothing I did caused it, it apparently just happens. They keep reiterating that to me because I felt guilty like I'd done something wrong. So the same surgery is scheduled for Monday morning. They call it a "revision." Ha.

Like I turned in a paper that graded poorly and I get to take it home and rewrite it...

I'm still super glad I did surgery. Very truly I could barely walk and since there are no natural pathways in the spinal canal for your body to get rid of herniated tissue it likely would likely not go away on its own for a long time. And that long term pressure on a nerve causes neuropathy for life and loss of coordination and muscle atrophying that isn't a short term recovery.

Feeling hopeful but ya know....
 
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Ant Anstead of Dirtbikes
Supporting Member
Small setback.
My 3 year old is quite sick. Croup. And yesterday he woke up (from fitfully cough/sleeping half the day) crying and motioning with his hands for me to pick him up, high temperature, sad eyes. So without thinking "gee wait I'm only supposed to pickup under 10 lbs" I picked him up. He looked so pitiful -sobbing for me.
I must have tweaked something. Because I don't feel great. I can't quite put my finger on it but something feels off. A little more numbness in my right foot. It's frustrating to be so obedient to my doctor's orders then this but I'm still optimistic.
Just writing this is therapeutic. So thank you for your time reading haha.

I've had some wonderful friends bring my family dinner and lunch on multiple occasions and can feel your thoughts and prayers bouying me up.
Thank each of you.


Lately I've found new ways to measure progress:
Some days are physically successful
And the days that aren't- can be mentally successful
And I should celebrate both.
 
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Ant Anstead of Dirtbikes
Supporting Member
My recovery has been pretty good. I've gotten back on the bike and raced a bit too.
But I live at a 6 or 7 in pain every day. It's getting old.
I've got a back procedure tomorrow morning. Radio Frequency Ablation. They'll knock me out and hopefully burn off some nerves that send the pain signals.

Say a prayer for me or keep me in you thoughts. Supposedly pretty routine, but there's still a level of concern.
 

Rot Box

Diesel and Dust
Supporting Member
Location
Smithfield Utah
Sorry man. I have back problems as well and had everyday 6-7 pain. I found the nerve burn to be a life saver I’ve never felt better and I’ve been mostly pain free for a few years now. I hope the same will ring true for you. My back is still messed up but the nerve burn makes it so I/my brain can’t feel it.
 

Rot Box

Diesel and Dust
Supporting Member
Location
Smithfield Utah
So have you gone in to locate/map out the nerve(s) that are giving you issues? The method they used to find them on me was a 12 on the 0-10 pain scale—holy crap it hurt so freaking bad. I hope you don’t have to go through that.

I hope you’re doing alright mentally the constant pain, depression and everything else that can come from back pain is tough to deal with. Hang in there it gets better like I said earlier the nerve burn should be a game changer.
 

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Ant Anstead of Dirtbikes
Supporting Member
Man I hope so. I sincerely appreciate the hope your kind words give me.
I'm generally a "nice guy" but if you're existing at a "7" and a "3" event happens in life/kids/relationship- it's pretty hard to keep from losing your temper or saying something you don't mean. I know it's done damage. I've been too quick to be critical of loved ones (I think because my own perceived inadequacies and pain). I've had to apologize & seek forgiveness often and constantly remind myself it's ok to not be ok & that I'm worthy of happiness.

We as men are asked to "tough it out" more than "talk it out" I hope my story encourages y'all to do both. Before all this: I most certainly defined my self-worth based on what I could physically accomplish. I've had to change my outlook and unfortunately I've been forced to be humbled more than few times.

I've spent the last 14 months trying to rehab mentally and physically and get back to were I was. God willing- all the hard work and the Lord's mercy allowed me back to a "low functioning guy" level.

I truly believe if I can knock the pain down I can get in the gym and rebuild my core balance and avoid more injury.
I'd be ecstatic if I could jog again or get on the ground and play with my 13mo old toddler.

I'll let you guys know how it goes tomorrow.
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