Houndoc
Registered User
- Location
- Grantsville
Two cell phones recently got married. The reception was great.
Lame Joke Thread
- Thread starter mesha
- Start date
- Location
- The Land Northward (Bountiful), Utah
"I like to go camping," said Tom intently.
A train carrying a large number of people takes a turn to fast and derails. Most of the passengers on board are killed, the rest badly injured. The driver of the train was convicted of manslaughter and sentenced to death.
He is placed in the electric and the executioner flips the switch. The man feels a slight tingling, but nothing happens.
He looks over at the executioner and says ‘hmm. I guess I’m just not a good conductor.’
He is placed in the electric and the executioner flips the switch. The man feels a slight tingling, but nothing happens.
He looks over at the executioner and says ‘hmm. I guess I’m just not a good conductor.’
- Location
- Stinkwater
Did you hear the one about the dehydrated frenchman, Pierre?
- Location
- Grand Junction, CO
I did, heard he was out on a fishing trip when the boat broke down.... days went by and they had ran out of drinking water long ago. His friend asked him, "What shall we do now, Pierre?"
BlueWolfFab
Running Behind
- Location
- Eagle Mountain
BlueWolfFab
Running Behind
- Location
- Eagle Mountain
A bear walks into a bar and tells the bartender he'd "like to order a gin.......... and tonic." The barter replied "sure, but why such a big pause?" and the bear said "I was born with them."
skiboarder
SkiBoarder
- Location
- No Ogden
thats horrible. ill be using it. lol
Tonkaman
Well-Known Member
- Location
- West Jordan
Well that explains a lot....
UNSTUCK
But stuck more often.
So here's a proud papa moment for you guys. Last week my 11 year old daughter had a "talent show night" for their Activities Days group at church. All of these girls were getting up and attempting to sing the latest popular pop song, which for the most part was a bit rough to take in. One girl did a great job of showing off her cupcake making skills though. My daughter was last to go. She gets up there and does about 5 minutes of stand up, which included many of the jokes from this thread. It was awesome! She ended with the, "thank you very much. You've been great. I'll be here all week. Don't forget to tip your waitress." She did great. The whole place was laughing and booing, which was to be expected with these bad jokes. It was a good time.
She says next time I have to help her perform, "Who's on first". Yikes!
Now to keep this thread on topic:
Did you hear about the goldfish that got kicked out of school?
He got caught smoking seaweed.
She says next time I have to help her perform, "Who's on first". Yikes!
Now to keep this thread on topic:
Did you hear about the goldfish that got kicked out of school?
He got caught smoking seaweed.
Tonkaman
Well-Known Member
- Location
- West Jordan
Ha ha that’s awesome
rholbrook
Well-Known Member
- Location
- Kaysville, Ut
Holy Hell. Now I get it....you that is. Thats funny
Last edited:
UNSTUCK
But stuck more often.
Yeah, I’m glad your last joke came in after the fact. That could have been interesting. At least I would have laughed.Hopefully she isn’t reading the whole thread, and you are just feeding her the good/appropriate ones. Otherwise I have some serious repenting to do