Mental health: it’s ok to talk.

[spaggyroe]

Sorry to hear this @Greg
I lost my dad when I was 40, and my mom a year and a half after that.
It's been years now and it's still weird. It still feels like the phone could ring at any moment with one of them being on the other end.

Side note to all my RME friends (and even you assholes).
Don't smoke. If you do smoke, quit.
You have no idea how that will eventually impact those around you.
My folks were neat people and I would've loved to have even a few more years with them.

 

[STAG]

Both my parents have smoked since they were 13. My mom about 1.5-2 packs a day, my dad about 1-1.5, but my dads health is significantly worse than my moms.

I’ve already been mentally preparing myself for that terminal call. My uncle (dad’s little brother) died 3 years ago from lung cancer. You’d think that would have had some influence on my dad wanting to quit, but no.

 

[Kevin B.]

If you do smoke, quit.

Best thing I ever did for myself.

You’d think that would have had some influence on my dad wanting to quit, but no.

I bet it does, dude. I walked out the back door and caught my two year old pretending to smoke one of the butts I'd left on the ground. Shook me for days, but it was still a couple more years before I managed to quit. It's just amazingly hard for some people, and your folks may have tried and tried and tried and have given up. I bet they'd still love to quit, if they saw a path - positive encouragement can help.

So can Wellbutrin. I think without that support I'd probably still be smoking.

 

[TRD270]

Best thing I ever did for myself.



I bet it does, dude. I walked out the back door and caught my two year old pretending to smoke one of the butts I'd left on the ground. Shook me for days, but it was still a couple more years before I managed to quit. It's just amazingly hard for some people, and your folks may have tried and tried and tried and have given up. I bet they'd still love to quit, if they saw a path - positive encouragement can help.

So can Wellbutrin. I think without that support I'd probably still be smoking.

I used to steal my roommate in the Army's cigarettes, then i'd charge him $0.25 a piece to get one back. He eventually quit. Now I just threaten people I know with violence.

 

[jeeper]

Today is one year since the start of this thread, and a sad anniversary for myself and some neighbors.
Thanks to all of you for the continuing support of each other, the openness, the willingness to talk, the willingness to admit shortfalls. I think it has been a very positive year for mental health here.

 

[nnnnnate]

My brother asked me and my wife last week to care for their kids should anything happen to him and his wife. The hard part is he has a big tumor (non cancerous) on his pituitary. He had surgery on it last year but it's grown back bigger than before and it's causing him vision issues and a mess of other problems.

He's working to schedule another operation but it's taking a toll. It took him a really long time to recover from the last one. He's got 4 kids from 15 to 9 years old. He just turned 41.

I don't know how to console him. I don't know what to say or what to talk about. It's got me thinking back to a few years ago when my uncle had cancer and ended up bed ridden in a hospital for a few months before passing. My dad would go sit with him almost every day and they'd talk about how things were and how they had hoped things would turn out.

I think what's hard about this is that my brother has done everything the right way and has this tumor. I've done things, much less right, and I'm looking in from the other side. I guess it's the bad things happening to good people age old question.

 

[Medsker]

Well, I'm out of the hospital. They got away with only having to take about 20% of the kidney so that's great news. The pain level is much higher than I thought it would be. I figured I'd be fine in a week or two but I can hardly move right now. Luckily I have an adjustable bed so that helps for getting in and out of bed but I still don't dare to sit into a recliner without the fear I'll never get out. Mentally it's very draining but I'm hanging in there. Thanks for all the happy thoughts everyone!

 

[Hickey]

Well, I'm out of the hospital. They got away with only having to take about 20% of the kidney so that's great news. The pain level is much higher than I thought it would be. I figured I'd be fine in a week or two but I can hardly move right now. Luckily I have an adjustable bed so that helps for getting in and out of bed but I still don't dare to sit into a recliner without the fear I'll never get out. Mentally it's very draining but I'm hanging in there. Thanks for all the happy thoughts everyone!

Good news, sir! Kidneys are jerks!

 

[Thursty]

Very glad to hear this news!

 

[Thursty]

Always a good reminder.

 

[JeeperG]

Death anniversaries are always a punch to the gut, lost this Guy 7 years ago today, while it's easier it still hurts. F*#@ cancer! I know he's cheering us on to get this pickup done, he was super excited about it when I started and he's the inspiration behind the build. So to me it's way more than just a truck.

 

[02SE]

I think I've only met one person here, but I felt like sharing that I lost my dad on July 19th. It wasn't entirely unexpected, as he had been battling stage 4 Renal Cell Carcinoma for 5+ years. But it still is a shock. It hurts. My dad was the best person I know. He left quite the example to live up to.

 

[moab_cj5]

I think I've only met one person here, but I felt like sharing that I lost my dad on July 19th. It wasn't entirely unexpected, as he had been battling stage 4 Renal Cell Carcinoma for 5+ years. But it still is a shock. It hurts. My dad was the best person I know. He left quite the example to live up to.

That sucks. It's terribly difficult to lose a hero. My condolences.

 

[Medsker]

I'm sorry to hear that. Hang in there! When I lost my dad and brother 3 years ago I found that missing them never really went away, you just learn how to live with it. Everyone grieves differently so good luck finding a way to get through this tough time.

 

[jeeper]

I'm sorry for your loss. That would be difficult.

 

[Kevin B.]

I think I've only met one person here, but I felt like sharing that I lost my dad on July 19th. It wasn't entirely unexpected, as he had been battling stage 4 Renal Cell Carcinoma for 5+ years. But it still is a shock. It hurts. My dad was the best person I know. He left quite the example to live up to.

Coming up on a year since my Dad passed. I'm still adjusting. It takes a while, so hang in there. I'm pulling for you.

 

[JeeperG]

So sorry for your loss, I can surely relate. Also this is a good reminder for everyone to check in on your people, friends, family, anyone you might think has some struggles. I reached out to a friend and rme member last week who also lost his dad not long ago. Not sure he's doing the best either. I still encourage anyone who needs it to seek therapy. I am still currently doing it myself.

 

[UNSTUCK]

Coming up on a year since my Dad passed. I'm still adjusting. It takes a while, so hang in there. I'm pulling for you.

Tomorrow is my dads 74th birthday. He passed at the ripe old age of 51. I’m fully adjusted, or at least as much as one can be, but special days like tomorrow will always be hard. He died suddenly 4 days after I got home from my mission. He owes me a whole bunch of fatherly advise that I’m pretty upset about missing out on.

 

[ChestonScout]

Lost my dad 5 years ago. Seems like 5 months. Time has really sped by.

I am not the same person I used to be. I don’t think I’ve really gotten over the grief. Our family cabin burned down and my grandpa passed the year before as well.

Sorry to hear it but hang in there.

 

[Kevin B.]

He owes me a whole bunch of fatherly advise that I’m pretty upset about missing out on.

I would have laughed at this in my 20s, but Dad sure did get smarter as I got older.