Mental health: it’s ok to talk.

[DesertRam]

Speaking of outside time...

One of the best things to come out of COVID for me was a smartwatch. My wife got me one not longer we got stuck working from home. It's set to give me an hourly reminder to walk. So, at ten 'til every hour, I get up, go outside, and walk around the house or office building, depending on where I'm working. It's amazing what 250 steps of fresh air will do for one's wellbeing and productivity.

 

[Cody]

I read some of these things, and I can totally relate (other than the sentiment of surviving the week just to get to the weekend...I don't even remember what it was like to have consistent weekends). I think I'm just numb at this point. Any scraps of free time are spent trying to get through the massive list of neglected house and business responsibilities. Any fleeting moments I take for myself (which are rare) are usually filled with guilt as I just run through the list of things that I should be doing or the additional work I'm putting on someone else by myself not being there. If I had two days to just do what I want, I don't even know that I would know what to do with myself. Which is probably when I feel saddest knowing I didn't used to be this way. I have been getting the occasional weekend trip here or there, and I was able to take a proper vacation last year, so it could be (and has been) worse. I'm just fully whelmed, and totally burned out, but I feel like I'm mostly keeping a good outlook on things which is at least something. I keep reminding myself that the only thing in this world I have control over is my attitude, so I try to make it a good one as much as possible.

Bad times pass, and things will always get better. 20 months ago I would get up at 6 am to go to work, work until 7pm, come home so my wife could leave to go to her work. Fix the dinner for the kids, get them in bed etc. Sleep a couple hours until the wife would get home around midnight, then I'd get up and go down to her work so I could fix all the 3d printers that were down. Then back home by 2-3 am, to sleep a couple more hours. Rinse, repeat, 7 days a week for months. My life isn't like that anymore, and every month things seem to ease just a bit. This is my year to get caught back up and hopefully regain some semblance of a life again.

 

[Kevin B.]

I would get up at 6 am to go to work, work until 7pm, come home so my wife could leave to go to her work. Fix the dinner for the kids, get them in bed etc. Sleep a couple hours until the wife would get home around midnight, then I'd get up and go down to her work so I could fix all the 3d printers that were down. Then back home by 2-3 am, to sleep a couple more hours. Rinse, repeat, 7 days a week for months.

I envy you your dedication. I would burn out within a month trying to maintain this schedule.

 

[Cody]

I envy you your dedication. I would burn out within a month trying to maintain this schedule.

I don't know. I think if everything you owned, your partner/best friend owned, and a whole bunch of money from your close friends was all on the line, you'd do the same. I think anyone that knows me would vouch that there isn't anything remarkable about my work ethic ha ha.

I'm also very motivated by spite, and there were enough people that either didn't believe in me enough to be involved, or flat out said I couldn't pull this off for me to really put on my I'll-f@cking-show-you pants. They need to be washed this year.

 

[Stephen]

I read some of these things, and I can totally relate (other than the sentiment of surviving the week just to get to the weekend...I don't even remember what it was like to have consistent weekends). I think I'm just numb at this point. Any scraps of free time are spent trying to get through the massive list of neglected house and business responsibilities. Any fleeting moments I take for myself (which are rare) are usually filled with guilt as I just run through the list of things that I should be doing or the additional work I'm putting on someone else by myself not being there. If I had two days to just do what I want, I don't even know that I would know what to do with myself. Which is probably when I feel saddest knowing I didn't used to be this way. I have been getting the occasional weekend trip here or there, and I was able to take a proper vacation last year, so it could be (and has been) worse. I'm just fully whelmed, and totally burned out, but I feel like I'm mostly keeping a good outlook on things which is at least something. I keep reminding myself that the only thing in this world I have control over is my attitude, so I try to make it a good one as much as possible.

Bad times pass, and things will always get better. 20 months ago I would get up at 6 am to go to work, work until 7pm, come home so my wife could leave to go to her work. Fix the dinner for the kids, get them in bed etc. Sleep a couple hours until the wife would get home around midnight, then I'd get up and go down to her work so I could fix all the 3d printers that were down. Then back home by 2-3 am, to sleep a couple more hours. Rinse, repeat, 7 days a week for months. My life isn't like that anymore, and every month things seem to ease just a bit. This is my year to get caught back up and hopefully regain some semblance of a life again.

Cody, you're one of the hardest working most dedicated guys I know and I envy your drive. You make the best beer in the state and honestly, there have been many long hard days in the past year for me that brighten up when I get to sit down for a minute and enjoy a cold BeWilder ESB. I hope things ease up for you a bit and know you can always reach out for help.

You're still an asshole, though.

 

[Hickey]

Cody, you're one of the hardest working most dedicated guys I know and I envy your drive. You make the best beer in the state and honestly, there have been many long hard days in the past year for me that brighten up when I get to sit down for a minute and enjoy a cold BeWilder ESB. I hope things ease up for you a bit and know you can always reach out for help.

You're still an asshole, though.

I almost reported this post until I read the last line. Thought your account was hacked.

 

[Greg]

I'll admit, I've been struggling.... lost my Dad a week ago, my MIL in December and my Mom just over a year ago. We weren't over my MIL's passing when we got the news about my Dad. I think the hardest part is knowing that both my parents are gone, that's been rough. I've talked with my wife and we're working thru it all together.... but it still sucks.

We talked about a Winter RME trip to Green River/the Swell in Feb... it's been hard for me to have any time to plan a trip, but this may be just what I need. I'll start a thread.

 

[jeeper]

Sorry to hear that, Greg.

 

[ChestonScout]

Oh man. Yep….losing my dad sucked. Still does. But I don’t even want to think about my mom going.

Sorry to hear Greg.

 

[Pike2350]

I'll admit, I've been struggling.... lost my Dad a week ago, my MIL in December and my Mom just over a year ago. We weren't over my MIL's passing when we got the news about my Dad. I think the hardest part is knowing that both my parents are gone, that's been rough. I've talked with my wife and we're working thru it all together.... but it still sucks.

This was me in the last year. Lost my dad in May. My wife's uncle who we were close fo. Week before Thanksgiving then my mom a week after Thanksgiving. 😥

Losing both sucks. It made me feel like I am lost at sea....no grounding force. It's weird being 45 with no parents around anymore.

Thoughts and prayers to you Greg.

This time of year sucks. 1/18 is supposedly the Saddest day of the year.

 

[Medsker]

Sorry to hear that Greg and the others sharing. I lost my Dad and older brother a week apart back in Jan 2020. I still have bad days but it did get easier for me over time. I don't think the pain goes away I think you just get better at dealing with it. It made me the man of the family really quick which I still don't think I've come close to mastering. I can't imagine saying goodbye to my mom either. Hopefully it doesn't happen for a while. Don't want to even think about it.

On some other bad news I'm going in to have a tumor removed on my right kidney on Wednesday. They are going to try to just get the tumor but may end up having to take the whole kidney. They are pretty sure it's cancerous but there still a very small chance it isn't. It's amazing the way my anxiety is climbing more and more as it gets closer. I thought it wouldn't be a big deal since I have two kidneys but my anxiety has let me know that deep down I think it is a big deal. I should be in the hospital a couple of days and then 4-6 weeks recovery.

Life goes on though. All we can do is take it by the horns and try not to let it gore us sometimes.

 

[Hickey]

Sorry to hear that Greg and the others sharing. I lost my Dad and older brother a week apart back in Jan 2020. I still have bad days but it did get easier for me over time. I don't think the pain goes away I think you just get better at dealing with it. It made me the man of the family really quick which I still don't think I've come close to mastering. I can't imagine saying goodbye to my mom either. Hopefully it doesn't happen for a while. Don't want to even think about it.

On some other bad news I'm going in to have a tumor removed on my right kidney on Wednesday. They are going to try to just get the tumor but may end up having to take the whole kidney. They are pretty sure it's cancerous but there still a very small chance it isn't. It's amazing the way my anxiety is climbing more and more as it gets closer. I thought it wouldn't be a big deal since I have two kidneys but my anxiety has let me know that deep down I think it is a big deal. I should be in the hospital a couple of days and then 4-6 weeks recovery.

Life goes on though. All we can do is take it by the horns and try not to let it gore us sometimes.

Keep us updated after the surgery, please.

 

[Thursty]

Greg, I’m so sorry to hear of your loss. I lost my dad in 2019 along with three Aunts and two Uncles in 2020 (none from COVID interestingly enough). My twin brother also lost his wife in 2020 at 39 years of age to a brain aneurysm, leaving him and his four kids without the center of their universe. I can’t even comprehend the magnitude of such a loss and I don’t want to even try. It has made us totally aware of how extremely fragile life is and definitely increased my anxiety anytime my wife and daughter go anywhere without me. The loss of my SIL has been even more difficult to process than the loss of my father, and after so many losses in such an short amount of time you feel like God just has your family in his crosshairs. A tough thought to overcome for sure. But time heals all wounds as they say. Time with family away from home and the daily routine have helped tremendously. Solo time outdoors is also key for me. I’m very fortunate to be able live where I do as it’s so easy to get away from people.

Thank you to all who have shared your difficulties. It’s so important to be able to talk about them. Thanks, also, to everyone for sharing thoughts on how to cope. The RME family is strong!

 

[Thursty]

Sorry to hear that Greg and the others sharing. I lost my Dad and older brother a week apart back in Jan 2020. I still have bad days but it did get easier for me over time. I don't think the pain goes away I think you just get better at dealing with it. It made me the man of the family really quick which I still don't think I've come close to mastering. I can't imagine saying goodbye to my mom either. Hopefully it doesn't happen for a while. Don't want to even think about it.

On some other bad news I'm going in to have a tumor removed on my right kidney on Wednesday. They are going to try to just get the tumor but may end up having to take the whole kidney. They are pretty sure it's cancerous but there still a very small chance it isn't. It's amazing the way my anxiety is climbing more and more as it gets closer. I thought it wouldn't be a big deal since I have two kidneys but my anxiety has let me know that deep down I think it is a big deal. I should be in the hospital a couple of days and then 4-6 weeks recovery.

Life goes on though. All we can do is take it by the horns and try not to let it gore us sometimes.

Sending good vibes your way. My father had to have a kidney removed due to a cancerous cyst while in his 40’s. The procedure went well and eliminated the cancer. He watched his diet, made sure to exercise and lived to age 85.

 

[Kevin B.]

I'll admit, I've been struggling.... lost my Dad a week ago, my MIL in December and my Mom just over a year ago. We weren't over my MIL's passing when we got the news about my Dad. I think the hardest part is knowing that both my parents are gone, that's been rough. I've talked with my wife and we're working thru it all together.... but it still sucks.

We talked about a Winter RME trip to Green River/the Swell in Feb... it's been hard for me to have any time to plan a trip, but this may be just what I need. I'll start a thread.

We lost Mom over a decade ago, so those wounds are old at this point and I didn't get the double whammy. But I can confirm that it is totally weird to have both parents gone now...

 

[Thursty]

We lost Mom over a decade ago, so those wounds are old at this point and I didn't get the double whammy. But I can confirm that it is totally weird to have both parents gone now...

I attended a funeral for an Aunt earlier this month and had a conversation with my Uncle, not the spouse of the deceased. His dad had already passed on and after the death of his mother an Uncle said to him “Well, you’re an orphan now.” He said it was/is such a strange feeling. I’m not looking forward to it.

 

[Medsker]

Thanks guys! I'll definitely update everyone when it's all through. I love my RME family!

 

[Kiel]

Went to a remembrance for a good friend last weekend. Literally mental health stuff on Christmas eve. Hits home real quick. He literally let me borrow his RV for 3 months when I was gutting my house 3 years ago. Myself and the ex lived in the driveway. I'm too young for this shit. Had my oldest friends brother overdose 2 days earlier. Life can be harsh if you let it.

 

[Houndoc]

Sorry to hear that Greg and the others sharing. I lost my Dad and older brother a week apart back in Jan 2020. I still have bad days but it did get easier for me over time. I don't think the pain goes away I think you just get better at dealing with it. It made me the man of the family really quick which I still don't think I've come close to mastering. I can't imagine saying goodbye to my mom either. Hopefully it doesn't happen for a while. Don't want to even think about it.

On some other bad news I'm going in to have a tumor removed on my right kidney on Wednesday. They are going to try to just get the tumor but may end up having to take the whole kidney. They are pretty sure it's cancerous but there still a very small chance it isn't. It's amazing the way my anxiety is climbing more and more as it gets closer. I thought it wouldn't be a big deal since I have two kidneys but my anxiety has let me know that deep down I think it is a big deal. I should be in the hospital a couple of days and then 4-6 weeks recovery.

Life goes on though. All we can do is take it by the horns and try not to let it gore us sometimes.

I've been running on one kidney for about 15 years.

Wishing you the best!

 

[Medsker]

Thanks! That's good to hear. It gives me hope.