Brett
Meat-Hippy
- Location
- Salt Lake City Utah
Don't be fooled, whenever you are having sex with your girlfriend/wife/mistress and they moan with excitement it's not because of you, they're thinking of Jack Bauer.
I was Just Reading The Guidelines....
- Thread starter xjshorty21
- Start date
Brett
Meat-Hippy
- Location
- Salt Lake City Utah
Jack Bauer doesn't care about Kanye West
Brett
Meat-Hippy
- Location
- Salt Lake City Utah
The Swiss Army Knife MacGuyver uses was a present from Jack Bauer.
Zombie
Random Dead Guy
- Location
- Sandy Utah
Brett
Meat-Hippy
- Location
- Salt Lake City Utah
Jack Bauer once grew a beard to rival that of Chuck Norris. In the only episode of 24 where Jack has that beard, he shot a man through his heart and cut his head off. He then shaved that beard to show up Chuck. What has your beard done lately, Norris?
newtoy
Active Member
- Location
- St. George
No one cares about Kanye West.
Brett
Meat-Hippy
- Location
- Salt Lake City Utah
When Conan O'Brien pulls the "Walker Texas Ranger Lever," a clip from the show is shown. When Jack Bauer pulls it, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks himself in the face.
I don't know guys . . . I just saw Chuck Norris take on a Cessna 110 with a sawed off shotgun that he used as a pistol . . .
And Chuck didn't win.
I'm pretty disenfranchised with this whole "Chuck Norris is so tough that . . ." thing.
Who doesn't win against a Cessna?
:-\
Jack wouldn't have any problems with it. He'd have drilled the pilot and co-pilot and flown off with the money (oh yeah, the plane was the get-away vehicle for a robbery).
James (Bond) would have jumped into the plane and thrown the guys out, stopped the plane, and nailed the hot Tellers after comforting them (oh yeah, they robbed a bank).
John would have rigged a telephone pole with his knife to fall on the plane and blow it up, taking half the town with it . . . but he still would have gotten the plane (oh yeah, the plane landed on main street in the middle of a town in "Texas" that looked just like Vernal).
Chuck just jumps out of the way, shoots, and nothing happens.
Pansy.
Chuck Norris can divide by Zero
And Chuck didn't win.
I'm pretty disenfranchised with this whole "Chuck Norris is so tough that . . ." thing.
Who doesn't win against a Cessna?
:-\
Jack wouldn't have any problems with it. He'd have drilled the pilot and co-pilot and flown off with the money (oh yeah, the plane was the get-away vehicle for a robbery).
James (Bond) would have jumped into the plane and thrown the guys out, stopped the plane, and nailed the hot Tellers after comforting them (oh yeah, they robbed a bank).
John would have rigged a telephone pole with his knife to fall on the plane and blow it up, taking half the town with it . . . but he still would have gotten the plane (oh yeah, the plane landed on main street in the middle of a town in "Texas" that looked just like Vernal).
Chuck just jumps out of the way, shoots, and nothing happens.
Pansy.
Chuck Norris can divide by Zero
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look guys, jack bauer isn't even a real person. get out of your fantasy world, take off your star trek costume, and join reality. Chuck Norris is real, and that is almost as scary as Weng Weng
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eqh5O9LbjhY
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eqh5O9LbjhY
Jeremy
total tacoma points: 162
- Location
- MAGNA, land of chewy brown water
that has got to be the stupidest thing i have ever heard.
there is nothing real about chuck norris. bozo the clown is more genuine than chuck norris.
that has got to be the stupidest thing i have ever heard.
there is nothing real about chuck norris. bozo the clown is more genuine than chuck norris.
Don't let Chuck hear you say that.....
Kiel
Formerly WJ ZUK
Dug these ones out of an old thread
Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard.
"When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it is not because he is gay, but because he has run out of women."
Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard.
Jeremy
total tacoma points: 162
- Location
- MAGNA, land of chewy brown water
#uck chuck.
Kiel
Formerly WJ ZUK
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
If you play Led Zeppelin's "Stairway to Heaven" backwards, you will hear Chuck Norris banging your sister.
When Chuck Norris gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live.
Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Chuck Norris.
Theres lots more, I think there freakin great
If you play Led Zeppelin's "Stairway to Heaven" backwards, you will hear Chuck Norris banging your sister.
When Chuck Norris gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live.
Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Chuck Norris.
Theres lots more, I think there freakin great
Brett
Meat-Hippy
- Location
- Salt Lake City Utah
If Jack Bauer had been on Oceanic 815 there would no Lost.
Brett
Meat-Hippy
- Location
- Salt Lake City Utah
Jack Bauer has single handedly tortured more people than Britney Spears has with the aid of mass media and multinational record companies.