Lame Joke Thread

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My brother is a walking joke book, these came from him today.
Both are R rated..

What do you call a masturbating cow?

Beef strokin-off.



There was a child born without eye lids. The doctors tried a new surgery and used the foreskin from his circumcision to make eyeslids. He has had a few follow up surgeries since, but no matter what they try, he still looks a little cok-eyed.
 
I just got one of my elementary school notebooks from my moms. I wrote these in 1987.

Do cats have flees- No cats have kittens.

If two's company and three's a crowd what 4 and 5? Nine.


Why did the horse wear sneakers? She was running a mare-athon.

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How do you start a story about the beach?
One a palm a time.


How do you start a story about chess?
Once a pawn a time.

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I keep telling the doctor that I'm not addicted to Thanksgiving leftovers, but he wants me to quit cold turkey.
 
What do you call a tennis match between Helen Keller and Stevie Wonder?




Endless love

Lmao I feel like a dumbass... I just barely got this. For some reason I was thinking Endless Love was a Stevie Wonder song or something and I was wondering what Helen Keller had to do with it Hahahaha
 
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