Lame Joke Thread

[tv_larsen]

 

[jeeper]

I met a lady in the parking lot the other day, who said 'is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?'
I said 'both, get in the van!'




I can tell from the shoes a women wears if we are going to have sex.
If she wears high heals, it's going to happen. If she wears tennis shoes, I'll never catch her..

 

[I Lean]

What sport would you play with a wombat?
























Wom.

 

[jeeper]

I met a blind man the other day, and I asked how he became blind. He said it was a motorboating accident.
I asked what happened.
He said 'she didn't tell me she had piercings.'

 

[Kevin B.]

I met a lady in the parking lot the other day, who said 'is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?'
I said 'both, get in the van!'




I can tell from the shoes a women wears if we are going to have sex.
If she wears high heals, it's going to happen. If she wears tennis shoes, I'll never catch her..

So dark. Just terrible. I'll use these.

 

[Kevin B.]

Why does the Norwegian navy have bar codes on their ships?

So when they come back to port they can Scandinavian.

 

[ID Bronco]

Why does the Norwegian navy have bar codes on their ships?

So when they come back to port they can Scandinavian.

My favorite new all time joke!

- - - Updated - - -

I sent 10 puns to my friend to try to make him laugh...

but no pun in ten did

 

[BlueWolfFab]

What's the difference between your wife and your job?

After 5 years your job will still suck.

 

[Kevin B.]

There was supposed to be a great movie this summer called Constipation, but it never came out.

 

[Kevin B.]

What do you call a fly with no wings?

A walk.

 

[Kevin B.]

Why was Oedipus against profanity? Because he kisses his mother with that mouth.




^ That's the stupidest mother****ing joke you'll ever hear.

 

[jeeper]

Why was Oedipus against profanity? Because he kisses his mother with that mouth.




^ That's the stupidest mother****ing joke you'll ever hear.

 

[BlueWolfFab]

What do you call a woman standing in the middle of a tennis court?


Anette.

 

[BlueWolfFab]

What do you call an alien with no eyes?



Alen.

 

[moab_cj5]

What do you call a woman that used to be a man?


Amanda

 

[mesha]

I had cheese, but no crackers

I was crackalackin'.

 

[moab_cj5]

If H2O is on the inside of a fire hydrant, what is on the outside?
















K 9 P

 

[mesha]

What happened when the cannibal showed up late to the party?


He got the cold shoulder.

 

[UNSTUCK]

How many South Americans does it take to change a light bulb?



A Brazilian.

 

[I Lean]

How many South Americans does it take to change a light bulb?



A Brazilian.

Are you sure about that? I think it takes only Juan.