Lame Joke Thread

[jeeper]

My doctor wrote me a prescription for "dailysex."

But then my wife had to break it to me that it was actually for "dyslexia".

 

[TRD270]

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

[Kevin B.]

I'm going to make a velociraptor, just as soon as I learn how to multiply timeraptors and distaraptors.

 

[BlueWolfFab]

This ones a paradox.

 

[BlueWolfFab]

RIP boiling water; you will be mist.

 

[BlueWolfFab]

Dad: "GO TO YOUR ROOM NOW!"

Daughter: *storms off* "JIM MORRISON WAS OVERRATED!"

Dad: "WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT SLAMMING THE DOORS?!"

 

[BlueWolfFab]

BlueWolfFab you looked up the solution to one of those FB riddles, didn't you?

I clicky

 

[Kevin B.]

I told a lady she drew her eyebrows on too high. She seemed surprised.

 

[Thursty]

What do you call a woman with only one arm and one leg?

Ilean

What do you call a man in a pool with no arms and no legs?

Bob

What do you call a dog with no legs?

Doesn't matter, he won't come anyway.

 

[I Lean]

What do you call a woman with only one arm and one leg?

Ilean

 

[UNSTUCK]

This whole time I knew there was something not quite right about you. It all makes sense now.

 

[mesha]

What do genders and the twin towers have in common?




There used to be 2 of them, but now it is a sensitive subject.

 

[mesha]

Who cleans the ocean?






Mermaids.





Why did the cowboy get wiener dog?




The sheriff told him to get a long little doggie.

 

[clfrnacwby]

Do you know what's the best part about being senile?




You can hide your own Easter eggs...

 

[mesha]

Do you know what's the best part about being senile?




You can hide your own Easter eggs...

I might have alzheimers,.............. but at least I don't have alzheimers.

 

[mesha]

a jewish business man in America sends his son to Israel to absorb some of the culture of the homeland. When the son returned, the father asked him to tell him about his trip.
The son said, "Pop, I had a great time in Israel. By the way, I converted to Christianity." "Oy vey," said the father. "What have I done?"
He decided to go ask his friend Jacob what to do. Jacob said, "Funny you should ask. I too sent my son to Israel, and he also came back a Christian. Perhaps we should go see the rabbi and ask him what we should do."
So they went to see the Rabbi. The Rabbi said, "Funny you should ask. I too sent my son to Israel. He also came back a Christian. What is happening to our young people? Perhaps we should go talk to God and ask him what to do."
The three of them prayed and explained what had happened to their sons and asked God what to do. Suddenly a voice came loud and clear from Heaven. The Voice said, "funny you should ask, I too sent my son to Isreal...

 

[McFate]

I saw an ad for burial plots and thought to myself, this is the last thing I need.

 

[BlueWolfFab]

I'm at a redbox.
Shit.
My favorite Liam Neeson movie is taken....
Shit!
My second favorite Liam Neeson movie is taken too.

 

[phatfoto]

What do Lesbians and Mechanics have in common?


Snap-On Tools...

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What did the Zen Master order at a Hot Dog Stand?


One, with everything...

 

[bryson]

I had a pizza joke I was going to share with you guys but it's too cheesy.