Lame Joke Thread

[Zombie]

getting back on track....

How did Helen Keller burn the left side of her face?

She answered the iron.

How did she burn the right side?

It called back!

 

[STAG]

Keeping in theme.

[video=youtube;DQZ3mNX2FyY]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DQZ3mNX2FyY[/video]

 

[skippy]

This is so awesome, I very rarely laugh out load online but this seriously made me almost die

 

[blznnp]

The wife and I got a good laugh out of that one

 

[mesha]

A dyslexic man walks into a bra

 

[mesha]

A dyslexic man finds out he has lysdexia


How did the mathematician solve his constipation problem?


He got a pencil and worked it out.

 

[Kevin B.]

Eew.

 

[phatfoto]

What do you call a leper in a hottub?








Stu...

 

[mesha]

What do toilets and anniversaries have in common?


Men miss them both.

 

[mesha]

A blond woman and a brunette woman jump off a cliff at the same time. Which one hits the ground first?











Nobody cares.

 

[rholbrook]

Isn't it the Ginger that no one really cares about? Yes, I said that.

 

[skeptic]

Last weekend my wife came out of the kitchen to yell at me, any guesses what I did wrong?










Chain too long.

 

[mesha]

Last weekend my wife came out of the kitchen to yell at me, any guesses what I did wrong?










Chain too long.

Whoa!

 

[STAG]

Which concert cost .45¢?






50 Cent w/ Nickelback

 

[frieed]

Then there was the dyslexic agnostic that wasn't sure there is a dog.

 

[cruiseroutfit]

Which concert cost .45¢?






50 Cent w/ Nickelback

And you still overpaid by $20

 

[mesha]

Then there was the dyslexic agnostic that wasn't sure there is a dog.

Haha I forgot that one. great joke.

 

[skeptic]

Then there was the dyslexic agnostic that wasn't sure there is a dog.

Then there was the dyslexic agnostic insomniac who laid awake at night wondering if there is a dog...

 

[Kevin B.]

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: ''Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!''
The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: ''The driver just insulted me!''
The man says: ''You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you.''

A woman is in Home Depot, looking over the vast array of insecticides. She selects one, but isn't sure it's the right one.
She finds a sales associate.
"Is this good for red ants?"
The sales associate is taken somewhat aback.
"No, it kills them."

 

[STAG]

What did the grape say when it was crushed?











Nothing it just let out a little wine...