Mental health: it’s ok to talk.

[02SE]

Thanks for the comments everyone, it helps. My condolences to every one of you who have lost loved ones too.

I was fortunate to be with him in his last moment here. No signs of awareness from him for two days, and on a high dosage of Morphine. I was holding his hand, when he started to squeeze my hand very hard, and mouthed 'I love you', and he just relaxed and was gone. It seemed so surreal I wasn't positive it had happened, but my oldest nephew and sister saw it, and confirmed it happened. I also had a sore hand for several days after.

More religious people than I called it a tender mercy. The last act of my dad sure made his passing a bit easier to accept.

 

[Thursty]

Thanks for the comments everyone, it helps. My condolences to every one of you who have lost loved ones too.

I was fortunate to be with him in his last moment here. No signs of awareness from him for two days, and on a high dosage of Morphine. I was holding his hand, when he started to squeeze my hand very hard, and mouthed 'I love you', and he just relaxed and was gone. It seemed so surreal I wasn't positive it had happened, but my oldest nephew and sister saw it, and confirmed it happened. I also had a sore hand for several days after.

More religious people than I called it a tender mercy. The last act of my dad sure made his passing a bit easier to accept.

Dang onion cutting ninjas found me again. 😢 What an amazing experience to have. My condolences on his passing. Prayers to you and your family for peace and comfort and to hopefully ease the pain.

 

[DAA]

Thanks for sharing that @02SE .

I had a similar experience with my Grandpa many years ago. Very long story, made very short, I moved out of my parents house at 17 years old and never went back. I started mowing my Grandpa's lawn and visiting him and my Grandma at least once a week to help them with whatever they needed at 15 years old and continued that until my after my Grandpa had passed and Grandma had to go to a home when I was in my early 40's. For a long time, I was a lot closer to my Grandpa and Grandma than my parents. I did, eventually, mend fences with my parents and was super close to my Dad when he passed and am still very close to my Mom. But, there was a long stretch of years after I went my own way that I was barely even in contact with my parents. But was in constant contact with my Grand parents.

I wasn't my Grandpa's first grandchild, or even second or third. But, as he used to tell the whole family, I was the only one that reminded him of him, so I was his favorite . To illustrate. When I was about 19, I was building a rock wall at his cabin on Mt. Aire and he was supervising. We were down at the creek poaching rocks for the construction. I found an ancient six pack of Coors in the creek. Asked Gramps what we should do with it and he gave me one of his famous long suffering sighs and said "drink it, boy". So, we did. Gramps had a way of calling you "boy" that made it feel like a compliment.

Anyway... I was out of the country and unreachable for three weeks. I think cell phones hadn't even been invented yet and my parents didn't even know exactly where I was. Grandpa passed into a coma, at home, in his own bed, as he wished. He had been in a coma state for two weeks when I got home. I got the news. Drove straight up there. Picked up his hand and started talking to him. He came around, for about ten seconds, and, you would have had to know him, but classic, all he said was "where the hell you been boy?". He passed about twenty minutes later.

- DAA

 

[Kevin B.]

Thanks for the comments everyone, it helps. My condolences to every one of you who have lost loved ones too.

I was fortunate to be with him in his last moment here. No signs of awareness from him for two days, and on a high dosage of Morphine. I was holding his hand, when he started to squeeze my hand very hard, and mouthed 'I love you', and he just relaxed and was gone. It seemed so surreal I wasn't positive it had happened, but my oldest nephew and sister saw it, and confirmed it happened. I also had a sore hand for several days after.

More religious people than I called it a tender mercy. The last act of my dad sure made his passing a bit easier to accept.

Thanks for sharing that @02SE .

I had a similar experience with my Grandpa many years ago. Very long story, made very short, I moved out of my parents house at 17 years old and never went back. I started mowing my Grandpa's lawn and visiting him and my Grandma at least once a week to help them with whatever they needed at 15 years old and continued that until my after my Grandpa had passed and Grandma had to go to a home when I was in my early 40's. For a long time, I was a lot closer to my Grandpa and Grandma than my parents. I did, eventually, mend fences with my parents and was super close to my Dad when he passed and am still very close to my Mom. But, there was a long stretch of years after I went my own way that I was barely even in contact with my parents. But was in constant contact with my Grand parents.

I wasn't my Grandpa's first grandchild, or even second or third. But, as he used to tell the whole family, I was the only one that reminded him of him, so I was his favorite . To illustrate. When I was about 19, I was building a rock wall at his cabin on Mt. Aire and he was supervising. We were down at the creek poaching rocks for the construction. I found an ancient six pack of Coors in the creek. Asked Gramps what we should do with it and he gave me one of his famous long suffering sighs and said "drink it, boy". So, we did. Gramps had a way of calling you "boy" that made it feel like a compliment.

Anyway... I was out of the country and unreachable for three weeks. I think cell phones hadn't even been invented yet and my parents didn't even know exactly where I was. Grandpa passed into a coma, at home, in his own bed, as he wished. He had been in a coma state for two weeks when I got home. I got the news. Drove straight up there. Picked up his hand and started talking to him. He came around, for about ten seconds, and, you would have had to know him, but classic, all he said was "where the hell you been boy?". He passed about twenty minutes later.

- DAA

When my Mom went it was real similar. Lung cancer had her and we knew it was coming soon, I got the call in the middle of work and dropped everything and drove thirteen hours straight. She held on just long enough. She was comatose when I arrived but came around just enough to squeeze my hand a little and mutter something. Then she slipped back under and was gone thirty minutes later. She was in immense pain but knew I was coming and held on just long enough to let me say goodbye.

Thursty's onion ninjas appear to be making the rounds.

 

[ChestonScout]

That is a tender mercy!

My dad was pretty sick and had lots of problems but none were life threatening….yet.

He smoked since he was 12 and had pretty decent emphysema going on.

He had just gotten out of the hospital for a hip surgery and was walking to the back door. Coughed up a big lougee and it got stuck. He didn’t have the strength to clear it. My mom did cpr till the ambulance arrived some 15 or 20 minutes later they got a pulse back.

He was on a ventilator and life support for a few days. They did several scans and he was completely brain dead. Too long without oxygen. Made zero progress so they made us make the call.

My poor mom had to watch him die twice


Me and my Dad fought constantly. Mostly over his drinking. We worked together for about 15 years til he couldn’t really work anymore. He liked to drink at work and it always pissed me off.

Multiple DUI, lots of drunken accidents (see hip surgery above haha), so many jobs I had to fix.

Sober he was a very awesome person. He did love his family but I can’t understand addiction like that. He just couldn’t stop

I love him even though he wasn’t always awesome.


I can’t imagine how hard it would be to lose a dad that was awesome all the time.

 

[glockman]

I have no idea how hard it will be to lose a parent but I'm not surprised to hear stories about involved Father's and the hurt caused when they pass from RME dudes. It takes some men to raise the group of competent and awesome men that make up RME.

I've heard Jordan Peterson say a good aim is to be the strongest person at your father's funeral. It seems like a good goal but I'm not sure I'll be up to the task. My heart goes out to you guys.

 

[STAG]

I know this type of music isn’t a lot of your guys’ music, but this song makes me dread the day I will lose my dad.

 

[rholbrook]

I have no idea how hard it will be to lose a parent but I'm not surprised to hear stories about involved Father's and the hurt caused when they pass from RME dudes. It takes some men to raise the group of competent and awesome men that make up RME.

I've heard Jordan Peterson say a good aim is to be the strongest person at your father's funeral. It seems like a good goal but I'm not sure I'll be up to the task. My heart goes out to you guys.

I was lucky enough to be around your father for a few days and I too wouldn’t blame you if you weren’t. I thought your father was awesome.

My children didn’t get as much time around my father as I wished they could have. Harrison was just a few years old when he passed from a brain tumor. My mother passed away too soon as well. It saddens me that my wife struggles with her father because he may have had his weaknesses, but I love the man she can’t seem to forgive. My children suffer because because of that strained relationship but it’s my wife who suffers the most from that. I tell her all the time that she shouldn’t let our kids and grandkids loose out on his wisdom.

 

[02SE]

Thanks guys. Service was on wednesday.

I thought about posting his Obituary, but wasn't sure that was appropriate.

Here's one of the four pictures I put in his Obituary, he was with the US Army during the Korean War.

 

[Tebbsjeep]

I figured this was the best place to post this, but you can move it if need be. I only met Steve a couple of times, and I'm sure he has no clue who I am. Many of you are his long time friends. I have really enjoyed his videos on both Hardtail Party and The More We Explore. I am always entertained, I learn, and very often inspired. His latest video is no exception. I wish Steve and his family the best.

 

[cruiseroutfit]

I figured this was the best place to post this, but you can move it if need be. I only met Steve a couple of times, and I'm sure he has no clue who I am. Many of you are his long time friends. I have really enjoyed his videos on both Hardtail Party and The More We Explore. I am always entertained, I learn, and very often inspired. His latest video is no exception. I wish Steve and his family the best.

Ah man, really sorry to hear he’s having to deal with that. Steve’s a great guy.

 

[jeeper]

Wow, Steve. My stomach is in knots for you. You are such a great guy.

 

[Tonkaman]

I figured this was the best place to post this, but you can move it if need be. I only met Steve a couple of times, and I'm sure he has no clue who I am. Many of you are his long time friends. I have really enjoyed his videos on both Hardtail Party and The More We Explore. I am always entertained, I learn, and very often inspired. His latest video is no exception. I wish Steve and his family the best.

Thanks for posting this here. I haven’t kept up with Steve’s journey for the last couple years.

 

[mbryson]

Thanks for the heads up on Steve. Sorry he's been dealt these cards but he seems to be taking this as you'd think he would. Making the best of it. I think that's all any of us can do in this type of situation?

 

[Unimog]

Thanks for posting this. Love Steve and his enthusiasm for outdoors and personable nature. Kills me that he is going through this.

 

[02SE]

It's times like this I wish I had a stronger belief as to what happens after we die. Being the black sheep from an LDS family, I'm struggling. Just over one month since my dad passed, mom passed away last night.

I didn't get the same experience with her that I did with my dad, as a team of doctors and nurses was busy giving her the full-code treatment in the ER. I gave them the ok to do so, but after 15 minutes of no signs of coming back, I asked a Dr. if there was much hope to come back, and if she did what that would be like for her. After he said there were still things they could do, but a recovery would be extremely difficult, I just asked them to stop. I was with her throughout yesterday, and never would have guessed it would be her last.

They were together for over 66 years. Both died at the age of 92, about a month apart.

People have said that regardless of my religious status or standing, that since they were married in the SLC Temple, I'll get to see them again.

 

[Cody]

Man, that's so tough. I'm very sorry to hear about your loss and I can't imagine how difficult it would be to have to make that decision about your mother.

I'm all for letting people believe in what makes them happy, and I hope that she's able to be reunited with her husband now. I'm sure after 66 years, the idea of being without him was difficult to deal with.

I think reconciling what happens to us, our consciousness, after we die is a philosophical issue that has literally been struggled with since the beginning of our self awareness. Most of our history has been shaped by different culture's different ideas about what that looks like, and in the end nobody knows. If faith brings comfort, then that's great. If something else does, great too. If you don't believe in any of that, then I suspect eventually we'll all come to terms with that as well and if nothing else that idea alone should be motivation to live the fullest life possible.

 

[Gravy]

Man that IS hard to lose both parents so close together. I feel for you! I believe God is merciful beyond our understanding. I'm sure your father and mother are reunited right now and you will certainly see them again. They have claim on you forever.

 

[jeeper]

I’m sorry. That’s got to be so hard.

I also imagine your mom was ready to be with your dad anyway.
I don’t think it matters what you or I believe. It matters that your mom and dad both died believing what they did. I’m sure they went happily knowing what was to be. Whether they are wrong or right, they were at peace with it.

 

[N-Smooth]

That is terrible, I'm sorry.

If I put aside my religious beliefs on the topic I still firmly believe there is peace after this life. I have definitely felt it at funerals for friends and family, no matter how sad I was.