Mental health: it’s ok to talk.

[str8axleguy]

Glad you posted @rotbox, I’m scared of this thread, but read every update! Good work on the sobriety, that’s truly awesome!

 

[jeeper]

I thought we had a thread somewhere that talked about Steve’s condition. Last time I saw any update from him it was not looking awesome.

But I saw this video today and it gave me the feel goods.

View this content on Instagram

View this content on Instagram

 

[Herzog]

I thought we had a thread somewhere that talked about Steve’s condition. Last time I saw any update from him it was not looking awesome.

But I saw this video today and it gave me the feel goods.

View this content on Instagram

View this content on Instagram

Awesome to see him doing well and in good spirits. Thanks for posting this.

 

[Hickey]

I was torn between the Mental Health thread and Lighten the Mood.

 

[SoopaHick]

I feel stuck. Most specifically in my career. It is reeking havoc on my "self worth."

I have been at my current job for just over 5 years. It came with a great step up in pay and amazing benefits. But also, being education and .gov funded, came with some negatives that I didn't realize until the last couple years. Negatives like promotions being almost non-existent unless somebody quits or dies. Like your raises being completely decided by how much budget increase the government decided on that year. And the big one that has just killed my drive and love for my job the last couple years, the education system forcing changes that only hinder student growth and cost everyone more money, while adding triple the responsibility on me with no compensation. On top of this I have 2 other part time jobs, that I actually enjoy way more but have no chance of being a full time thing, costing me tons of time from home just to somewhat get close to what I want to achieve for my family.

So what, find a new job... and there comes the "stuck" part.
I've spent the last 6 months applying for several jobs that I either qualify for or feel I could catch onto pretty quick. 3 of which actually put me through the interview process and were giving positive signs towards working out and giving me a decent enough pay raise to give up my amazing benefits so I could move my career forward. 1 of those even had a few of my friends working there that were pushing hard for me so we could run the QC department together.

All 3 of the ones I had multiple interviews with then proceeded to ghost me. Then after weeks, and in one case months, of me reaching out they finally tell me they weren't interested or decided to go a different route.

Then I find the golden job that I fit all the criteria for, get a phone interview, and then get an email telling me they went with someone else. Then the next day post the same job again but for a lower pay scale that I'm not willing to accept.

All this has thrown me down a rabbit hole of "Imposter Syndrome." Not only that but recognizing that, at least around here, I'm missing key experience to have an equivalent job in other companies that I do now. To get that experience I'd either have to take a severe pay cut, which is in no way possible for my family right now, or pay 10's of thousands in online and in person trainings that most of the industry doesn't give two craps about anyways.

I understand very much that I'm into the GRIND part of life and I'm trying to put my head down and work towards a more relaxed future. But my main job, my career making job, feels like I've ran into a solid wall. I loathe walking into the building every morning. I have become way more blunt with students from being sick of hearing the same damn questions 10 times a day for 5 years. And honestly I've become quite lazy at it.... There is no point to excel. There is no reason to work my butt off because the school doesn't care. They won't fire me because it's hard as hell to replace me. But they also won't give me any kind of "pat on the back for a job well done" because it wasn't part of the legislature's budget.

I'm just super frustrated and disheartened today after seeing another "No" from a job application.

I would really like to reign back my side jobs and have a life again.

 

[ID Bronco]

I feel stuck. Most specifically in my career. It is reeking havoc on my "self worth."

I have been at my current job for just over 5 years. It came with a great step up in pay and amazing benefits. But also, being education and .gov funded, came with some negatives that I didn't realize until the last couple years. Negatives like promotions being almost non-existent unless somebody quits or dies. Like your raises being completely decided by how much budget increase the government decided on that year. And the big one that has just killed my drive and love for my job the last couple years, the education system forcing changes that only hinder student growth and cost everyone more money, while adding triple the responsibility on me with no compensation. On top of this I have 2 other part time jobs, that I actually enjoy way more but have no chance of being a full time thing, costing me tons of time from home just to somewhat get close to what I want to achieve for my family.

So what, find a new job... and there comes the "stuck" part.
I've spent the last 6 months applying for several jobs that I either qualify for or feel I could catch onto pretty quick. 3 of which actually put me through the interview process and were giving positive signs towards working out and giving me a decent enough pay raise to give up my amazing benefits so I could move my career forward. 1 of those even had a few of my friends working there that were pushing hard for me so we could run the QC department together.

All 3 of the ones I had multiple interviews with then proceeded to ghost me. Then after weeks, and in one case months, of me reaching out they finally tell me they weren't interested or decided to go a different route.

Then I find the golden job that I fit all the criteria for, get a phone interview, and then get an email telling me they went with someone else. Then the next day post the same job again but for a lower pay scale that I'm not willing to accept.

All this has thrown me down a rabbit hole of "Imposter Syndrome." Not only that but recognizing that, at least around here, I'm missing key experience to have an equivalent job in other companies that I do now. To get that experience I'd either have to take a severe pay cut, which is in no way possible for my family right now, or pay 10's of thousands in online and in person trainings that most of the industry doesn't give two craps about anyways.

I understand very much that I'm into the GRIND part of life and I'm trying to put my head down and work towards a more relaxed future. But my main job, my career making job, feels like I've ran into a solid wall. I loathe walking into the building every morning. I have become way more blunt with students from being sick of hearing the same damn questions 10 times a day for 5 years. And honestly I've become quite lazy at it.... There is no point to excel. There is no reason to work my butt off because the school doesn't care. They won't fire me because it's hard as hell to replace me. But they also won't give me any kind of "pat on the back for a job well done" because it wasn't part of the legislature's budget.

I'm just super frustrated and disheartened today after seeing another "No" from a job application.

I would really like to reign back my side jobs and have a life again.

I wish I had better advice, but as a guy who spent a lot of years raising expensive kids (not done yet) I want you to know there is hope, and a light at the end of the tunnel. .gov work has sucked the soul out of many of my friends so be careful of that but they will probably have better retirements than I will. Maybe. Spending time with your kids and wife will be worth way more than an extra car payment or other niceties that an extra job provides.

 

[Kevin B.]

I feel stuck. Most specifically in my career. It is reeking havoc on my "self worth."

I have been at my current job for just over 5 years. It came with a great step up in pay and amazing benefits. But also, being education and .gov funded, came with some negatives that I didn't realize until the last couple years. Negatives like promotions being almost non-existent unless somebody quits or dies. Like your raises being completely decided by how much budget increase the government decided on that year. And the big one that has just killed my drive and love for my job the last couple years, the education system forcing changes that only hinder student growth and cost everyone more money, while adding triple the responsibility on me with no compensation. On top of this I have 2 other part time jobs, that I actually enjoy way more but have no chance of being a full time thing, costing me tons of time from home just to somewhat get close to what I want to achieve for my family.

So what, find a new job... and there comes the "stuck" part.
I've spent the last 6 months applying for several jobs that I either qualify for or feel I could catch onto pretty quick. 3 of which actually put me through the interview process and were giving positive signs towards working out and giving me a decent enough pay raise to give up my amazing benefits so I could move my career forward. 1 of those even had a few of my friends working there that were pushing hard for me so we could run the QC department together.

All 3 of the ones I had multiple interviews with then proceeded to ghost me. Then after weeks, and in one case months, of me reaching out they finally tell me they weren't interested or decided to go a different route.

Then I find the golden job that I fit all the criteria for, get a phone interview, and then get an email telling me they went with someone else. Then the next day post the same job again but for a lower pay scale that I'm not willing to accept.

All this has thrown me down a rabbit hole of "Imposter Syndrome." Not only that but recognizing that, at least around here, I'm missing key experience to have an equivalent job in other companies that I do now. To get that experience I'd either have to take a severe pay cut, which is in no way possible for my family right now, or pay 10's of thousands in online and in person trainings that most of the industry doesn't give two craps about anyways.

I understand very much that I'm into the GRIND part of life and I'm trying to put my head down and work towards a more relaxed future. But my main job, my career making job, feels like I've ran into a solid wall. I loathe walking into the building every morning. I have become way more blunt with students from being sick of hearing the same damn questions 10 times a day for 5 years. And honestly I've become quite lazy at it.... There is no point to excel. There is no reason to work my butt off because the school doesn't care. They won't fire me because it's hard as hell to replace me. But they also won't give me any kind of "pat on the back for a job well done" because it wasn't part of the legislature's budget.

I'm just super frustrated and disheartened today after seeing another "No" from a job application.

I would really like to reign back my side jobs and have a life again.

I have no advice except to keep your head up. My sister just went through a terrible job search, in a different field, and ran into everything you're running into. Applications for jobs she was eminently qualified for got ignored. The ones that called back jerked her around, several postings got relisted after she'd been interviewing for weeks. Several times she was offered, at well below market rate for her experience level and even below what they'd listed the job at. She finally landed in a decent position for decent pay and is content for now, but it's a brutal job market. I keep seeing potential employers complaining that nobody wants to work, but when they don't want to pay an actual wage and their hiring process looks like this I don't blame folks for not taking their jobs.

Keep plugging. You know what you're worth, and eventually you'll run into somebody else that knows it too.

 

[jeeper]

I’m sorry you are struggling.

My current mindset would be that if your side hustles are not giving you enough money to make the extra work and headaches worth it, don’t do them.
But if they are making enough for the time you put in, work them hard and scale it so you can make them your normal job.

Or, keep looking for the right job, and be patient.

 

[Cody]

I've seen a lot of people struggling in the same way to find jobs. My brother spent 11 months unemployed looking for jobs...full time looking for jobs. It's tough and sometimes you have to bet on yourself and take a step backwards to open up more opportunities to take bigger steps forward.

FWIW, self employment kinda sucks too. But at least I can't rage quit.

You'd also be surprised how little you can live off of if you don't really have any other options lol.

 

[Thursty]

Spending time with your kids and wife will be worth way more than an extra car payment or other niceties that an extra job provides.

This!

 

[SoopaHick]

I’m sorry you are struggling.

My current mindset would be that if your side hustles are not giving you enough money to make the extra work and headaches worth it, don’t do them.
But if they are making enough for the time you put in, work them hard and scale it so you can make them your normal job.

Or, keep looking for the right job, and be patient.

The problem is that the Side Jobs literally just aren't full time. They're event based or "when the need arises" type. I love doing both of them but it'd be probably years before the one of them could possibly turn into full time.

 

[Tonkaman]

I don’t know much about the logic, but I’ve heard companies do this to exploit a loophole. I think the job listings are to make it look like the department is growing, and needs more funding from the parent company. The higher wages in those job listings are more like feelers to see what the market is actually paying. My wife has dealt with this for year internally at her job (discover)

 

[N-Smooth]

I hear ya and feel a lot of your points. I rushed out of dotgov work after 10 years with most of them being frustrating for the same reasons you listed. I took a job out-of-state but selling our house here didn’t work so I came back. I took a job at a start-up making garbage money while I looked for what I wanted to be when I grew up. An opportunity came up at the same bank my wife works at and I jumped on it for the $ alone- not a lot but more than I was making and a decent (lol I didn’t have a crystal ball) company. Now fast forward 10 years and daily I’m like why the F do I work at a bank? I don’t like it. I don’t like my team and I don’t like the work. It doesn’t interest me. The only thing I like is the WFH.

Anyways I don’t want to take over the thread but hang in there and keep looking. In my experience if you keep interviewing and putting yourself out there that’s the only thing that helps with the imposter syndrome (which is real AF). I haven’t applied anywhere for a while and I feel it. I was resting on the fact that my wife kills it and loves her job but lately she hates it and is self-proclaimed as un-motivated. I’m in trouble if she loses her job.

Oh last thing, I get it with the side work. Sometimes I wonder if the gopher biz is worth it but honestly with recent pay cuts we’re dealing with it’s really going to help us out. I too would love to grow it to be my main gig but such is life. Good luck!

 

[kmboren]

I have been a R.N. since 2009. About 3.5 years ago I needed to make a change so I did. Moved to a different area but still as a Nurse. I lost income because I worked fewer hours but it sure helped my mental state. Sometimes we have to make those sacrifices to make/put ourselves into better happier circumstances. I have since moved one more time and love where I am now and feel like I matter and make a difference and management is also better.

Hang in there and keep looking. It might take a minute to find what fits you but you'll get there. It takes work and effort but if you are out there looking It will come along.

 

[ID Bronco]

Or work on creating your work so you can call the shots. Business ownership has it's set of challenges but they are better for me than working for someone else for a million reasons.

 

[02SE]

What worked for me was walking away from the career (Mechanic) I had invested my life in up to that point, taking my life savings, and investing in starting my own unrelated business. I never worked harder, got ulcers from the stress, and struggled for years. Eventually I had some success, and then sold my business when it became desirable to a competing entity.

I then took up a hobby for fun, which my background as a Mechanic made possible, which became a well-compensated gig. But one I can walk away from at any time.

If I understand you have a background in welding. So maybe starting a business doing that is a possibility.

 

[Spork]

The job market sucks right now. I'd continue looking and keeping your options open. I'd say keep in touch with your friends/associates and keep them aware you're looking. This includes RME... My parents were both teachers and I always got the idea that they didn't have any control over how much they made thanks to the union other than getting additional degrees and number of years worked unless they went into administration (still not a lot of control other than a principal makes more than a teacher). The retirement is great if you can stick it out.

An opportunity came up at the same bank my wife works at and I jumped on it for the $ alone- not a lot but more than I was making and a decent (lol I didn’t have a crystal ball) company. Now fast forward 10 years and daily I’m like why the F do I work at a bank? I don’t like it. I don’t like my team and I don’t like the work. It doesn’t interest me. The only thing I like is the WFH.

Anyways I don’t want to take over the thread but hang in there and keep looking. In my experience if you keep interviewing and putting yourself out there that’s the only thing that helps with the imposter syndrome (which is real AF). I haven’t applied anywhere for a while and I feel it. I was resting on the fact that my wife kills it and loves her job but lately she hates it and is self-proclaimed as un-motivated. I’m in trouble if she loses her job.

Oh last thing, I get it with the side work. Sometimes I wonder if the gopher biz is worth it but honestly with recent pay cuts we’re dealing with it’s really going to help us out. I too would love to grow it to be my main gig but such is life. Good luck!

I think N-Smooth is me... I wonder if he was told they plan to outsource his job by 2030 also.

 

[Hickey]

I feel stuck. Most specifically in my career. It is reeking havoc on my "self worth."

I have been at my current job for just over 5 years. It came with a great step up in pay and amazing benefits. But also, being education and .gov funded, came with some negatives that I didn't realize until the last couple years. Negatives like promotions being almost non-existent unless somebody quits or dies. Like your raises being completely decided by how much budget increase the government decided on that year. And the big one that has just killed my drive and love for my job the last couple years, the education system forcing changes that only hinder student growth and cost everyone more money, while adding triple the responsibility on me with no compensation. On top of this I have 2 other part time jobs, that I actually enjoy way more but have no chance of being a full time thing, costing me tons of time from home just to somewhat get close to what I want to achieve for my family.

So what, find a new job... and there comes the "stuck" part.
I've spent the last 6 months applying for several jobs that I either qualify for or feel I could catch onto pretty quick. 3 of which actually put me through the interview process and were giving positive signs towards working out and giving me a decent enough pay raise to give up my amazing benefits so I could move my career forward. 1 of those even had a few of my friends working there that were pushing hard for me so we could run the QC department together.

All 3 of the ones I had multiple interviews with then proceeded to ghost me. Then after weeks, and in one case months, of me reaching out they finally tell me they weren't interested or decided to go a different route.

Then I find the golden job that I fit all the criteria for, get a phone interview, and then get an email telling me they went with someone else. Then the next day post the same job again but for a lower pay scale that I'm not willing to accept.

All this has thrown me down a rabbit hole of "Imposter Syndrome." Not only that but recognizing that, at least around here, I'm missing key experience to have an equivalent job in other companies that I do now. To get that experience I'd either have to take a severe pay cut, which is in no way possible for my family right now, or pay 10's of thousands in online and in person trainings that most of the industry doesn't give two craps about anyways.

I understand very much that I'm into the GRIND part of life and I'm trying to put my head down and work towards a more relaxed future. But my main job, my career making job, feels like I've ran into a solid wall. I loathe walking into the building every morning. I have become way more blunt with students from being sick of hearing the same damn questions 10 times a day for 5 years. And honestly I've become quite lazy at it.... There is no point to excel. There is no reason to work my butt off because the school doesn't care. They won't fire me because it's hard as hell to replace me. But they also won't give me any kind of "pat on the back for a job well done" because it wasn't part of the legislature's budget.

I'm just super frustrated and disheartened today after seeing another "No" from a job application.

I would really like to reign back my side jobs and have a life again.

I was in a position similar to this when I worked at the glass company. I liked that job quite a bit, but life just kept getting more expensive and then bam… kid number 3 arrived. Suddenly I didn’t enjoy my job anymore and I just felt tremendous pressure to make way more money, and I felt like that was 100% on ME to get it done. The glass delivery job had a terrific schedule and days off, but the pay was never gonna be enough to support my family. I found a part time job driving OTR on the weekends, which had me working/driving 7 days a week, every week at two low paying jobs.

I left both of those jobs to drive for Frito Lay. The pay was a little better than both previous jobs, but the schedule was even worse, and so were the working conditions. I was never around family and never home for holidays. We had to work extra hard to be able to spend half of Christmas or thanksgiving at home, then back to work by 10 pm on the same night. That job was the closest I ever came to actually rage-quitting a job. I did actually scream at my manager toward the end “**** you and **** this place!” which they gave me the day off for. 😂

What I’m trying to say is, DO NOT HAVE ANOTHER KID. If you think it’s bad now, another child will force you to work even harder than you do right now. WAY harder. This society puts so much pressure on babies babies babies and it’s just destroying families at some point. Also, don’t share this with your little sister 😁.

 

[N-Smooth]

I think N-Smooth is me... I wonder if he was told they plan to outsource his job by 2030 also.

Not yet but most of us see it coming. However we earned a little runway when we got purchased by a bank that does WAY lower volume than us. Like our volume frightens them to the point that for now they’re content to just let us do our thing lol

 

[Kevin B.]

I left both of those jobs to drive for Frito Lay. The pay was a little better than both previous jobs, but the schedule was even worse, and so were the working conditions. I was never around family and never home for holidays. We had to work extra hard to be able to spend half of Christmas or thanksgiving at home, then back to work by 10 pm on the same night. That job was the closest I ever came to actually rage-quitting a job. I did actually scream at my manager toward the end “**** you and **** this place!” which they gave me the day off for.

I was perilously close to ragequitting my current job to drive chips for Frito Lay. @TRD270 talked me out of it, and I should probably buy him a beer or something for that.