I have a really good book about selecting the right dog and training him right from the beginning. It's written by Caesar Milan, the "Dog Whisperer." His show and books are fantastic. He teaches that misbehaved dogs are misbehaved because their owners train them wrong, not because the dogs are "bad." He rehabilitates owners and teaches them how to give their dog the communication they can understand.
Anyway, his book talks about really good principle.
Step 1: Research the breeds and pick the best breed for you.
I believe that any breed can be taught to be well-behaved (so does Caesar). however, I don't believe that every breed is good for any owner. Definitely research each breed and find one that meets your lifestyle. If you go running several miles a day, a Husky could be a fantastic dog for you. If you want a lap dog, and you don't have time to give a dog a 3 hour walk every day, a Husky just won't cut it.
I'm allergic to dogs, so I that really narrowed my search. Some people are even allergic to a dog's saliva, not just the fur. With all the hypo-allergenic dogs, I narrowed my search down to choosing the right breed for me.
Step 2: Once you select a breed, pick the right dog out of that breed.
In addition to choosing the right breed for you, you need to choose the right DOG for you. Can you imagine being married to your sister in law? She's from the same family as your wife, but she's nothing like your wife. Assuming all golden retrievers are alike is a huge mistake. Just like people, every dog has a personality. Some are shy, some are aggressive, some are timid, some are hyper, some prefer solitude, and others won't stop cuddling with people. NEVER pick a dog based on looks. Dogs are like kids. No matter how ugly they are, they'll always look good to you because you love them. This book has some tests you can do to determine which traits a dog has before taking him/her home. That has made the biggest difference with our dog selection. I looked at about 15 other Xolos before getting Fender. Fortunately I went to a good breeder who interviewed us before we went, and she hand picked some dogs that matched our personality. When we saw Fender, he wasn't aggressive, but he wasn't afraid of his own shadow either. He was confident and curious, and not too high-strung, just what we wanted.
Our dog took a lot of work to train, he was kind of a wild thing. I enjoy teaching/training, so it was a fun challenge for me, but not everyone would enjoy it. Ian and your wife are going to have be on board as well, they're going to have to help train him.
Once you do get a dog, buy the first few seasons of Dog Whisperer and watch an episode with your family every week. It really shows you how to communicate with a dog and teach them their boundaries.
One more thought: if my dog were an outside-only dog, it wouldn't have worked. We had 2 outside dogs growing up, and we abused them. They never got the attention they deserved, and they never got the exercise/training they needed to be well balanced. By having Fender inside, I'm able to interact with him more and correct poor behavior the second I see it.