Lame Joke Thread

[jallen9]

win.

i should send this to my ex wife

Whats the difference between a knife and a womans argument?

The knife has a point.

 

[TJDukit]

If there is a line of gay people is it still a straight line?

 

[glockman]

What do you know if you find bones on the moon?

The cow didn't make it

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[mesha]

how may potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman?





none.

 

[STAG]

how may potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman?





none.

I don't get it.

 

[mesha]

I don't get it.

that is because you are not a jerk and don't find the potato famine to be humorous.

 

[STAG]

How do you turn your dishwasher into a snowblower?














Hand her a shovel.

 

[maveric]

My son told me this one this morning.

How do you make a tissue dance?

Put a little boogie in it.

 

[mesha]

My son told me this one this morning.

How do you make a tissue dance?

Put a little boogie in it.

nice! My kids will love that one.

 

[mighty midjet]

Why did the hipster burn his mouth on the pizza?
Because he ate it before it was cool.

How many cops does it take to change a light bulb?
None, they just beat the room for being black

 

[mesha]

Why did the hipster burn his mouth on the pizza?
Because he ate it before it was cool.

How many cops does it take to change a light bulb?
None, they just beat the room for being black

that hipster joke is the win

 

[mesha]

What is the difference between Hitler and Michael Phelps?

Michael Phelps can finish a race.

 

[sixstringsteve]

Davy, have you tried being Hitler yet for halloween?

 

[mesha]

Davy, have you tried being Hitler yet for halloween?

what a grand idea! I hope I can remember that. I love offensive costumes.

 

[mesha]

a bus full of children and nuns crashes.

that is all.

 

[mesha]

A lady is at a grocery store. She goes up to the check out line and puts her items on the counter. She has a head of lettuce, a loaf of bread, and a gallon of milk. The man behind the counter looks at her choices and says, "excuse me miss, but you must be single". She replies with a smile, "why yes, but how could you tell that from my groceries". He responds, "because you're ugly".

 

[TJDukit]

Haha

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[mesha]

How do you catch a Unique Bunny?

Unique up on it.

 

[mesha]

What do you get when you put 20 Utah Utes in the same room?


A full set of teeth.


What is the difference between a large pizza and BYU Gradute?


the pizza can feed a family of 4.

 

[ID Bronco]

Where was the toothbrush invented?

Arkansas

Why? If it were invented anywhere else it would be a teethbrush.