Lame Joke Thread

[STAG]

I sent these to my mom as she was sitting in the same room as I was. Made her laugh.

 

[clfrnacwby]

[h=2]What’s the best thing about Switzerland?[/h]I don't know—but the flag is a big plus.

 

[mesha]

Did you know you can drink Lava?



only once.

 

[mesha]

The mummy was standing in the toilet paper isle at the grocery store. It was seen tapping its chin and saying, "What to wear, what to wear?"

 

[clfrnacwby]

Helvetica and Times New Roman walk into a bar.


"Get out of here!" shouts the bartender. "We don't serve your type."

 

[clfrnacwby]

Yesterday I saw a guy spill all his Scrabble letters on the road. I asked him, "What's the word on the street?"


Once my dog ate all the Scrabble tiles. For days he kept leaving little messages around the house.

 

[phatfoto]

Sitting at the dinner table, the guy asks his wife, "What would you do if I won the lottery?"

She said, "I'd take half you winnings and leave you!"

Guy looked shocked but answers, "I won $12, here's $6. Stay in touch!"

 

[smartass_kid]

I was talking to my friend the other day about how my wife makes me want to be a better person, get in better shape and be happy.













so I can find a better wife.

 

[sixstringsteve]

this one's for you mesha.

Did you hear about the guy who cooled himself to absolute zero?

Don't worry, he's 0K.​

 

[Kevin B.]

If you take the shell off a racing snail, does it get faster?

No, just more sluggish.

 

[mesha]

If you take the shell off a racing snail, does it get faster?

No, just more sluggish.

HAHAHAH! Awesome!

 

[jeeper]

Parallel lines have so much in common...


..It's a shame they'll never meet.

 

[Rock Taco]

I went turkey hunting for the first time today. Got one with my first shot too. Scared the crap out of everyone in frozen foods and I'm banned from the grocery store.

 

[Kevin B.]

How much is a large order of Fibbinachos?

Same price as a small order plus a medium order.

 

[STAG]

Ya lost me ^

 

[mesha]

How much is a large order of Fibbinachos?

Same price as a small order plus a medium order.

Ya lost me ^

An extra large would be the same price as a medium order plus a large order

 

[STAG]

Ah. Had to do some googling there.

 

[moab_cj5]

We have a genetic predisposition for diarrhea.

Runs in our jeans...

 

[AaronPaige]

Yuck

 

[mesha]

A snail approaches a door and knocks.

A man opens the door and kicks the snail as hard as he can.

2 years later the snail knocks on the same door. When the man opens the door the snail says, "what did you do that for jerk?"