Lame Joke Thread

[glockman]

Now I can see the image is a hearing aid. Couldn't make that out before.

 

[jeeper]

I'm dumb. Explain this to me.

I’ve had to ask on too many.. so I didn’t say anything about this one 🤦🏼‍♂️

 

[UNSTUCK]

I’ve had to ask on too many.. so I didn’t say anything about this one 🤦🏼‍♂️

Story of my life: “it’s better to remain silent and give the appearance of stupidity than to open your mouth and remove all doubt”.

 

[jeeper]

 

[Pile of parts]

Imagine if we switched from pounds to kilograms overnight...


There would be mass confusion.

 

[UNSTUCK]

How does The Rock go pee?



He dwaynes his johnson.

 

[jeeper]

A lot of people think the world has gone crazy....






... But in reality, it's just bipolar.

 

[UNSTUCK]

Why can’t boy ghosts get girl ghosts pregnant?





Because they have Halloweenies.

 

[UNSTUCK]

The following is a true story. It happened last night between my 11 yo son and my adult neighbor.

Adult: Did you get lots of candy tonight?
Son: Yes I did. My bag is about to rip.
Adult: Nice! What’s your favorite candy?
Son: King size.

Maybe this should go in the proud poppa thread.

 

[moab_cj5]

 

[Houndoc]

I attended a funeral recently and couldn't think of anything to say to the widow so I simply whispered "plethora".
"Thanks" she replied, "that means a lot."

 

[UNSTUCK]

 

[moab_cj5]

Logan Lisle on Instagram: "Friday Favorites - Dad Jokes #dadjokes #docktok"

Logan Lisle shared a post on Instagram: "Friday Favorites - Dad Jokes #dadjokes #docktok". Follow their account to see 794 posts.

www.instagram.com

 

[Thursty]

 

[glockman]

Where does the Egyptian go when he has a back pain?

The Ciaropracter.

 

[Really Old Guy]

I’m

 

[UNSTUCK]

Yeah, me too.

 

[glockman]

If a blackbird has black babies and a bluebird has blue babies, what bird has no babies?

A swallow.

 

[UNSTUCK]

What do you call an Italian with a rubber toe?

Roberto.

 

[STAG]

Do you know what mothballs smell like?

Me neither, I can’t get their little legs to spread.