Lame Joke Thread

[STAG]

A man and his wife have been married 35 years. He kept a safe that he never let her look inside.

One day when he left to town she finally looked inside the safe and saw $40k and 3 eggs.

When the husband returned home she admitted she looked inside the safe and she asked him about the eggs. He replied “well, everytime I cheated on you with another woman I put an egg in the safe”

She thought about it and she said “well I guess that’s not too bad for 35 years. What about the cash?”

The husband replied “well, everytime I would get a dozen eggs I would sell them”

 

[jeeper]

A man and his wife have been married 35 years. He kept a safe that he never let her look inside.

One day when he left to town she finally looked inside the safe and saw $40k and 3 eggs.

When the husband returned home she admitted she looked inside the safe and she asked him about the eggs. He replied “well, everytime I cheated on you with another woman I put an egg in the safe”

She thought about it and she said “well I guess that’s not too bad for 35 years. What about the cash?”

The husband replied “well, everytime I would get a dozen eggs I would sell them”

I hear this one most often but with doilies and the woman crocheting one every time she was mad.

 

[STAG]

My mom dropping tonight’s joke

 

[STAG]

 

[Thursty]

 

[STAG]

What has a bottom at the top?



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Legs

 

[UNSTUCK]

What’s the problem with having gay parents?


You either get twice the dad jokes or get caught in an endless game of “go ask your mother”.

 

[Pile of parts]

You're American when you go in the bathroom.
You're American when you come out of the bathroom.
What are you when you're in the bathroom?
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European

 

[STAG]

https://www.facebook.com/reel/509705964627760?mibextid=0NULKw&fs=e&s=TIeQ9V

 

[STAG]

What did 50 Cent do when he got hungry?



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58

 

[mesha]

What did 50 Cent do when he got hungry?



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58

This one really cracked me up for some reason

 

[STAG]

What do you call a whale with no underwear?



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A free willy

 

[STAG]

There are two reasons not to drink from the toilet bowl.




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Number one, and number two.

 

[STAG]

A dung beetle walks into a bar…

“Is this stool taken?”

 

[STAG]

Guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender gives him his drink and then proceeds to pull a very small person from his pocket and this small person walks across the bar where he takes a seat at a very small piano and proceeds to play a beautiful song.

The bar patron is in shock and awe and asks the bartender about him. The bartender replies “I have a magical lamp with a genie that can grant you a wish”

The bartender pulls out the lamp from under the bar and the patron rubs it and says “I wish for a million bucks!”

Just then the bar fills with one million ducks!

The bar patron says, “What the hell?? I didn’t want a million ducks!”

The bartender says “oh, and you think I wanted a 10-inch pianist?”

 

[Thursty]

 

[Thursty]

 

[Kevin B.]

Why don't seagulls fly over the bay? Because then they'd be bagels.

Why does the Bible have so many pages? It's a long story.

I went to the Dr. yesterday and he told me he thinks I need hearing aids. That was hard to hear.

 

[STAG]

 

[Thursty]