Lame Joke Thread

[STAG]

A polar bear walks into a bar and says “I’ll have a rum……………………… and coke”

Bartender asks, “what’s with the pause?”

Polar bear says “I was born with them”

 

[Kevin B.]

I called every florist in the phone book and none of them knew anything about tile.

But somehow I'm the idiot here.

 

[STAG]

 

[STAG]

The female janitor asked if I would like to smoke weed with her.

I told her “no, I can’t deal with high maintenance women.”

 

[jeeper]

Do you know why there are pop-tarts but not mom-tarts?



Because of the pastiarchy

 

[STAG]

Chuck Norris was riding a horse one day and it wasn’t running fast enough. He hopped off, ran to the front, and gave the horse an uppercut right in the jaw.

Because of this, now we have giraffes.

 

[STAG]

Protons have mass?

I didn’t even know they were catholic

 

[Houndoc]

Most bald men still own combs. They just can't part with them.

 

[STAG]

 

[glockman]

Why do ducks have long tailfeathers?

To cover their butt quaks.

 

[STAG]

 

[Kevin B.]

View attachment 166241

That's terrible. Go down the hall and think about what you've done.

 

[STAG]

 

[Kevin B.]

I always wanted to be a Gregorian monk when I grew up. But I never got the chants.

 

[STAG]

My credit card got declined at the sweater store,

so the cashier had to ask for my cardigan.

 

[STAG]

I just made an optometrist appointment for my son and I to get glasses.

What happens after that? Well, I guess we’ll see.

 

[glockman]

You'll never guess who I ran into at my last optometrist appointment.


Everyone.

 

[STAG]

There are 3 unwritten rules to make a good pun.

1-
2-
3-

 

[STAG]

What do you call a foodfight with unlimited food?

All-you-can-yeet

 

[N-Smooth]