Lame Joke Thread

[mesha]

This is dark humor. It might be offensive. Don't read it.

Dark humor is like food, not everyone gets it.


Dark humor is like a kid with cancer, it never gets old.


My wife asked me to see things from her point of view, so I tried it. I understand why her point of view is so narrow now. I couldn't see much out the kitchen window.


Is is easier to unload a truck of cats or bowling balls? Cats, because you can't pitchfork a bowling ball.

 

[Noahfecks]

 

[4x4_Welder]

It was mid October, and three students of the International School of Music were discussing the upcoming Halloween costume party. They had decided that the best choice would be to show their passion and dedication to their musical careers by going as their favorite composers.
The Russian student proudly said "For the glory of The Motherland, I must go as Tchaikovsky".
The Italian student, with all adue flair, said "There is only one clear answer for me. I must go as the greatest composer, Vivaldi!"
The German student calmy looked first at the Italian, then the Russian, took a deep breath, and in a flat serious voice said....






"I'll be Bach".

 

[Houndoc]

What did Delaware? A New Jersey.

 

[Kevin B.]

Why can't you hear a pteradactyl pee?

Because they're extinct, dummy.

 

[Noahfecks]

why cant you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom?

because the pee is silent

 

[UNSTUCK]

Sorry Kevin. Noah beat you on that one.

 

[jeeper]

Sorry Kevin. Noah beat you on that one.

Those were obviously two different jokes… Two very different yet stupid jokes.

 

[4x4_Welder]

Variations on a (lame) theme?

 

[Kevin B.]

Emphasis on lame.

 

[4x4_Welder]

Well, at least we seem to be keeping with the spirit of this thread.

 

[Marsh99]

Did you know you can't use "beefstew" as a password....

It is not stroganoff.

 

[ID Bronco]

Low budget but one of my jr. high favorites:

What do you call 1000 masturbating cattle?

Beef Stroganoff

 

[Pile of parts]

An old, blind cowboy wandered into an all-girl biker bar by mistake, finds his way to a bar stool and orders a shot of Jack Daniels.
After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, “Hey, you wanna hear a blond joke?" The bar immediately falls absolutely silent.
In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to the old blind cowboy says, "Before you tell that joke, Cowboy, I think it is only fair, given that you are blind, that you should know five important things:

1. The bartender is a blond girl who's holding a baseball bat.
2. The bouncer is a blond girl with a billy-club.
3. I'm a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blond woman with a black belt in karate.
4. The woman sitting next to me is blond and a professional weightlifter.
5. The lady to your right is blond and a professional wrestler.

Now, think about it seriously, Cowboy. Do you still wanna tell that blond joke?"

The blind cowboy thinks for a second, shakes his head and mutters,
"Well hell no, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times!

 

[Hickey]

This thread is awesome.

 

[johngottfredson]

Ah, a classic "God/sexual innuendo" joke.

 

[Pile of parts]

Burro
Burrow

Those that can't spell don't know their ass from a hole in the ground.

 

[smfulle]

Burro
Burrow

Those that can't spell don't know their ass from a hole in the ground.

I love these kind of wordplay jokes. Thanks for then laugh!

 

[mesha]

Two windmills are standing out in a field.
one says, "what is your favorite type of music"?

the other responds, " I'm a big metal fan".

 

[mesha]

Wife, "I am pregnant".

Me attempting a dad joke, " Hi pregnant, I'm dad".

Wife, "No you're not".