Lame Joke Thread

[jeeper]

What happens if you run behind a car?


you’ll get exhausted!


What happens if you run in front of a car?


you’ll get tired!

 

[glockman]

Why don't you ever see elephants hiding in trees?


They are really good at it.

 

[Hickey]

 

[jeeper]

My wife told me to get in touch with my feminine side.

So I wrecked the car.
And then I spent a day not taking to her for no apparent reason.

 

[4x4_Welder]

My wife told me to get in touch with my feminine side.

So I wrecked the car.
And then I spent a day not taking to her for no apparent reason.

You need to commit on that a bit more. I got so in touch with my feminine side that I got breast cancer.

 

[Kevin B.]

Alligators can grow up to fifteen feet.

But most just have four.

 

[4x4_Welder]

Why did the comedian stop making covid jokes?

The first row always got them.

 

[glockman]

Did you hear about the hippy surfer that drowned?


The life guard tried to save him, but he was too far out.

 

[UNSTUCK]

Which one of King Arthur's knights built the round table?




Sir Cumference.

 

[ID Bronco]

today I feel like a cow in tall grass.....


I'm utterly tickled to be here.

 

[ID Bronco]

What do you call a ghost with a broken leg?



A Hobblin Goblin


What do you get when you come across Bambi and a ghost?

Bamboo!

 

[ID Bronco]

What is the difference between Iron Man and Aluminum Man?


Iron man stops the bad guys and destroys them....................................Aluminum Man just foils their plans!

 

[Kevin B.]

A researcher in France wrote a book about clock fetishism.

It's about ****ing time.

 

[UNSTUCK]

Why did the lion cross the road?





To get to the other pride.

 

[I Lean]

What do you call a fat psychic?




A four-chin teller.

 

[rholbrook]

Did you know that there are more airplanes in the ocean than there are submarines in the air?
Thats plane to sea.

What kind of Dr, Dr Pepper was? A FIZZician.

 

[Kevin B.]

I went down to the Pride Parade and asked a bunch of people what LGBTQ meant.

None of them gave me a straight answer.

 

[Thursty]

 

[Kevin B.]

I have a friend who plays music about sewing machines.

He's a singer-songwriter.

 

[glockman]

What do you do if you are a man, trapped in a woman's body?


Pull out.