Lame Joke Thread

mesha

By endurance we conquer
Location
A.F.
Hey, you don't have to give me the cold shoulder!
Said the cannibal who was late for dinner.




Never date a cannibal, if he gets nauseous he will keep bringing up old girlfriends.




Two cannibals, a father and son, walk into the jungle to look for something to eat. Before long they come across a little old man. The son says, ‘Dad, how about him?’ ‘No,’ says the father. ‘There’s not enough meat on him. We’ll wait.’ A little while later, along comes a really fat woman. The son says, ‘Hey, Dad, how about her?’ ‘No,’ says the father. ‘We’d die of a heart attack if we ate her. We’ll wait.’ An hour later an absolutely gorgeous woman walks by. The son says, ‘There’s nothing wrong with this one, Dad. Let’s eat her.’ ‘No we won’t,’ says the father. ‘Why not?’ asks the son. ‘Because,’ says the father, ‘we’re going to take her home and eat your mother.’
 
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Houndoc

Registered User
Location
Grantsville
To get away from cannibal humor(?):

Did you hear about the man who took the shell off his racing snail to see if would make it faster?

Turned out it was even more sluggish.
 

Kevin B.

Not often wrong. Never quite right.
Moderator
Location
Vehicular limbo
What's the difference between a Salt Lake City transit station and a lobster with breast implants?

One's a crusty bus station, the other is a busty crustacean.
 

sixstringsteve

Well-Known Member
Location
UT
A woman was so sick of her husband spending their life savings on his guitar collection that she beat him to death with his guitars.

At the trial the judge asked her "First offender?"

The lady replied, "no, first a gibson, then a fender."
 

smartass_kid

Well-Known Member
most stolen from thechive but:

why don't you see elephants hiding in trees?

because they're sooo good at it.


if you ever get cold, go stand in a corner. they're usually around 90 degrees.


what is blue and smells like red paint?

blue paint.


my dad has the heart of a lion.................and isn't allowed at the zoo anymore.
 
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