Lame Joke Thread

[jamesgeologist]

A rabbi, a minister and an Imam walk into a bar. The bartender says: “Is this some kind of joke?"

 

[mesha]

what is Hitlers favorite breakfast?


Juice

 

[mesha]

how did hitler tie his shoes?


with little Nazis

 

[stimmie]

What was Hitler's favorite Christmas song?





White Christmas

 

[mesha]

What was Hitler's favorite Christmas song?





White Christmas

I was going to guess something about "roasting on an open fire".

 

[mesha]

^bad taste on my part.

What did one snowman say to the other?





"I smell a carrot"

 

[I Lean]

My 5-year-old really liked that last one! (I haven't been reading him the Hitler ones though, so it's OK)

 

[mesha]

that carrot joke is one of my all time favorites.....sad, I know

 

[STAG]

Chuck Norris tears can cure cancer, too bad Chuck Norris never cries.

 

[Jeremy]

how do you circumcise a whale?













with "fore skin" divers.

 

[01XJ]

What do you call a sheep with no legs?
A cloud

What do you call a camal with 3 humps?
Humphreys

What do cows do for entertainment?
They rent moovies !

What does a fish say when it runs into a wall?
DAMN!

If a turtle doesnt have a shell, is it naked or homeless ?

How do you stop a fish from smelling?
Cut its nose off

What do you call a fish with no eye ?
FSH !

What do you call a deer with no eyes ?
I have no I-Deer

What is invisible and smells like carrots?
Rabbit farts.

What is a dogs favourite school subject?
"Dog-Ruff-E "

Why are there no asprins in the jungle?
Because the Parots-ate-em-all

Why was the Energizer Bunny arrested?
He was charged with battery.

Why did the fish get kicked out of school?
Cause he was caught with seaweed.

Patient: Doctor! Doctor! Everyone keeps on copying me!
Doctor: Doctor! Doctor! Everyone keeps on copying me!

 

[mesha]

The sheep with no legs and the rabbit farts jokes where awesome.

Great list there!

 

[Jeremy]

there are three kinds of people in this world........




those that can count and those that cant.

 

[mesha]

Most of you wont get this one thankfully.

Knock Knock

whos there

you know

you know who?


thats right! avada kedavra!

 

[rholbrook]

Most of you wont get this one thankfully.

Knock Knock

whos there

you know

you know who?


thats right! avada kedavra!

The Killing Curse

 

[mesha]

What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?





He wiped.

 

[_Auzzy_]

Chuck Norris tears can cure cancer, too bad Chuck Norris never cries.

chuck norris is so tough when he does push ups, he pushes the earth down.

 

[UNSTUCK]

there are three kinds of people in this world........




those that can count and those that cant.

Told that one to my wife and she said she didn't get it!

 

[UNSTUCK]

What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?





He wiped.

Best yet.

 

[anderson750]

What has 4 wings and can fly?





2 birds.