Lame Joke Thread

I Lean · Apr 10, 2020

A priest, a rabbit, and a minister walked into a bar.

The rabbit said, "I might be a typo."

UNSTUCK · Apr 11, 2020

I Lean said:
A priest, a rabbit, and a minister walked into a bar.

The rabbit said, "I might have been AUTO CORRECTED.”

Who typo’s anymore?

mesha · Apr 19, 2020

My son told me he didn’t understand cloning.

That makes two of us.

jeeper · Apr 19, 2020

I found two bumps on my battery. To be safe, I had it tested. One turned out to be positive. According to the symptoms, it’s terminal.

4x4_Welder · Apr 20, 2020

jeeper said:
I found two bumps on my battery. To be safe, I had it tested. One turned out to be positive. According to the symptoms, it’s terminal.

I saw this on r/dadjokes just today.

ID Bronco · Apr 23, 2020

If you have a better fish pun....................just let minnow

Kevin B. · Apr 24, 2020

There was a young man
from Cork who got limericks
and haiku confused

Thursty · May 2, 2020

Kevin B. · May 4, 2020

Accordion to a recent survey, replacing words with the names of musical instruments in a sentence often goes undetected.

Kevin B. · May 7, 2020

Cannibals don't like ramen. They prefer them cooked.

Kevin B. · May 7, 2020

What's made of leather and sounds like a sneeze?

A shoe.

Kevin B. · May 9, 2020

From my five year old just now: what has horns and goes "ooooooooooooooooo"?

A cow with no lips.

Thursty · May 10, 2020

UNSTUCK · May 10, 2020

I was just informed that the word “ICY” is the easiest word to spell.

Now that I think about it, I see why.

Kevin B. · May 13, 2020

I really wanted a ribeye, but I ordered the chicken instead.

That was a missed steak.

Kevin B. · May 17, 2020

Imagine if the US switched from imperial to metric measurements overnight.

There would be mass confusion.

4x4_Welder · May 19, 2020

Kevin B. said:
Imagine if the US switched from imperial to metric measurements overnight.

There would be mass confusion.

Nobody would understand the lengths we'd have to go to to correct the issue.

UNSTUCK · May 20, 2020

4x4_Welder said:
Nobody would understand the lengths we'd have to go to to correct the issue.

At least, on paper, it would seem to go faster though.

Kevin B. · May 28, 2020

I just finished writing a book on penguins.

In retrospect, it would have been easier to write it on paper.

UNSTUCK · May 28, 2020

My daughter just spent all morning making a belt out of watches. She called it the latest fad.

I called it a waste of time.