Lame Joke Thread

[UNSTUCK]

What did the pirate say when he turned 80 years old?


Aye matey!

 

[Die Blaue Ziege]

What's red and green and goes through a wall?




A frog, if you throw it hard enough!

 

[Tebbsjeep]

What's blue, and smells like red paint?








Blue paint.

 

[Thursty]

I just bought some shoes from a drug dealer...

I don’t know hat he laced them with, but I’ve been trippin’ all day!

 

[Noahfecks]

Poop jokes aren't my favorite, but they are a solid #2

 

[jeeper]

Do you know why Indians were able to live here first?


they had reservations

 

[ID Bronco]

What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo?


A pouch potato

 

[TRD270]

Do you know why Indians were able to live here first?


they had reservations

I'm offended you need to change the name of that joke

 

[jeeper]

Saw on fb.

 

[mesha]

T

What's red and invisible?

No tomatoes.

I have been laughing at this joke all night. For some reason it really cracks me up.

 

[glockman]

How did burger King get dairy queen pregnant?

He forgot to wrap his whopper.

 

[4x4_Welder]

So over Christmas I decided to splurge and go get breakfast at a little diner. Kinda limited selection, but seemed decent, so I went ahead and ordered eggs benedict.
When the waitress came out with my food, she had it in this dish that looked like a hubcap! I was a bit confused, so she explained-

Don't you know? There ain't no plates like chrome for the hollandaise.

 

[Thursty]

I spotted an albino Dalmatian this morning. It was the least I could do for him.

 

[Kevin B.]

Bono and Edge walk into a bar. Bartender says "aww hell, not U2 again".

 

[Thursty]

I don’t know who needs to hear this but:

Boobytrap is partyboob spelled backwards.

Carry on.

 

[Kevin B.]

Why is water heavier than butane?

Because butane is lighter fluid.

 

[Greg]

How come Orphans don't play baseball?




They don't know where home is!

 

[Kevin B.]

You can find out what sex an ant is by putting it in water. If it sinks, girl ant. If it floats, boy ant.

 

[mesha]

You can find out what sex an ant is by putting it in water. If it sinks, girl ant. If it floats, boy ant.

I am 100 percent telling this to my class.

 

[Kevin B.]

I am 100 percent telling this to my class.

I was hoping you would.