Lame Joke Thread

[Thursty]

 

[jeeper]

Me: 'Doctor, every morning at 8:00, I poop'

Doctor: 'What's wrong with that?'

Me: 'I wake up at 9:00!'

 

[Kevin B.]

Once upon a time, there was a king who was only twelve inches tall. He was a terrible king, but he made a great ruler.

 

[Thursty]

How do you get a country girl’s attention?

A tractor.

 

[Tonkaman]

Q-How do you find Will Smith in the snow??

A-Look for the Fresh Prints

 

[Kevin B.]

I got the words jacuzzi and yakuza confused. Now I'm in hot water with the japanese mafia.

 

[boogie_4wheel]

The urge to sing 'The Lion Sleeps Tonight' is only a whim away

A whim away, a whim away, a whim away...

 

[OCNORB]

After a huge explosion at a cheese factory in France....






They found there was nothing left but de-Brie.

 

[UNSTUCK]

What do you call four Mexicans standing in quicksand?

Cuatro cinco.

 

[jeeper]

What is the difference between snow men and snow women?







snowballs

 

[ID Bronco]

What do you call an Army of babies?




an Infantry

 

[Greg]

The adjective for metal is metallic, but not so for iron, which is ironic.

Thank you for attending my Ted Talk.

 

[ID Bronco]

What do you get when you eat onions and beans?



Tear gas

 

[Tebbsjeep]

How does a ginger bread man make his bed?


With cookie sheets.


But he'd probably do a crumby job.

 

[ID Bronco]

Did you hear about the cheese that saved the world?


It was Legen Dairy

 

[Kevin B.]

Maybe @TRD270 can tell us, do they allow loud laughing in Hawaii?

Or just a low ha?

 

[haulinshine]

A friend of mine got into photographing salmon in different clothing.

He said he liked shooting fish in apparel

 

[haulinshine]

A chicken coup only has two doors. If it had four it would be a chicken sedan.

 

[Kevin B.]

Sweden elected the CEO of Ikea as their new Prime Minister.

He's assembling his cabinet now.

 

[ID Bronco]

I accidentally sprayed some deodorant into my mouth, now when I talk I have this strong axe scent.

Shared with my kids, I love it!