Lame Joke Thread

[mesha]

This is not fair!

- A Russian, after you give him bad directions to the fair.

hahahahahahaha


I love that joke more than kanye loves kanye.

-Sincerely kanye

 

[McFate]

Recently I've been working on learning sign language. It's a handy skill to have.

 

[Kevin B.]

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom?

The p is silent.

 

[Kevin B.]

What's the difference between a tornado and an Alabama divorce?

Nothing, somebody is losing a trailer either way.

 

[jeeper]

The Tooth brush was invented in Alabama.. Other wise it would have been called a Teeth Brush..

 

[Skylinerider]

I was addicted to the Hokey-Pokey....but I turned my self around.

 

[glockman]

What's the difference between a counterfeit dollar and an anorexic girlfriend,

one is a phony buck.

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G890A using Tapatalk

 

[Kevin B.]

An electron is driving down road and is pulled over for speeding. The officer asks "sir, do you know how fast you were going?"

"No, but now that you've stopped me I know exactly where I am."

 

[Rot Box]

Did you hear about the fight that broke out in the candy store?















Yeah, some poor sucker got licked.





Groan :-\

 

[mesha]

An electron is driving down road and is pulled over for speeding. The officer asks "sir, do you know how fast you were going?"

"No, but now that you've stopped me I know exactly where I am."

This is amazing!

 

[ID Bronco]

This is amazing!

I cannot recall the properties of electrons, so enlighten me, the caveman.

 

[mesha]

I cannot recall the properties of electrons, so enlighten me, the caveman.

Electrons exist in a cloud. So, they exist anywhere within that cloud at any given time. They are basically "everywhere" in the cloud. The only way to know where they are is to stop them which can't be done.

 

[Kevin B.]

I cannot recall the properties of electrons, so enlighten me, the caveman.

If you're ready to go down a rabbit hole, google "quantum uncertainty". To grossly oversimplify it, the act of measuring a quantum particles' position changes it's velocity, and vice versa. This vexes quantum physicists, because they can't ever know exactly where a quantum particle is and exactly how fast it's going at the same time, and it appears that even the quantum particle can't "know" those two things at the same time. This is why most quantum physicists are ill-tempered bald men with ulcers.

 

[Houndoc]

If you're ready to go down a rabbit hole, google "quantum uncertainty". To grossly oversimplify it, the act of measuring a quantum particles' position changes it's velocity, and vice versa. This vexes quantum physicists, because they can't ever know exactly where a quantum particle is and exactly how fast it's going at the same time, and it appears that even the quantum particle can't "know" those two things at the same time. This is why most quantum physicists are ill-tempered bald men with ulcers.

That got awfully deep for lame joke thread!

I guess a little education can't hurt us.

 

[Kevin B.]

That got awfully deep for lame joke thread! .

Sorry. What do you call a kid with one leg, eleven fingers, and an eye patch?

Names.

 

[Spork]

Sorry. What do you call a kid with one leg, eleven fingers, and an eye patch?

Names.

Much better. :greg:

 

[ID Bronco]

If you're ready to go down a rabbit hole, google "quantum uncertainty". To grossly oversimplify it, the act of measuring a quantum particles' position changes it's velocity, and vice versa. This vexes quantum physicists, because they can't ever know exactly where a quantum particle is and exactly how fast it's going at the same time, and it appears that even the quantum particle can't "know" those two things at the same time. This is why most quantum physicists are ill-tempered bald men with ulcers.

Your asking a guy looking at the "lame joke thread" to google quantum Uncertainty? haha, Thanks everyone for the enlightenment.

 

[Kevin B.]

Your asking a guy looking at the "lame joke thread" to google quantum Uncertainty? haha, Thanks everyone for the enlightenment.

Hey, I'm looking at the lame joke thread too.

 

[mesha]

I have been reading the thesaurus lately, because the mind is a terrible thing to garbage.

 

[kowe69]

What kind of shorts do clouds wear?

Thunder-wear.

My 7 year old daughter told mt that one.